Lewiston, Maine: Why would an 800 pound 7' tall moose go to the mall? To visit Bull Moose Music, of course. He strolled into the mall right next to the music store. Problem is, he walked through a plate glass window first, cutting his long legs in the process. Mall security was able to shoo the moose back outside (sounds like a scene from one of those crazy mall cop movies). This is the same moose that caused a traffic accident earlier in the week and also made itself at home in a lady's backyard. The cops shot him dead. That makes me sad, but he could have had a weird brain worm that makes moose do stupid things. Wait, that explains all the dumb crooks and ridiculous shop lifters I write about. They probably have the same brain worm.
