Tuesday, September 29, 2009
When Tierney was little, she used to get this American Girl Doll catalog. The historical themed dolls had a whole story behind them. You could buy their bed, clothes, pet, sled, school books, tea set, lunchbox, and all sorts of important accessories. All you needed was a Black American Express Card with no spending limit. Tierney never got one of her own, but just looking at the catalog was enough fun. Now American Girl has come out with a new doll named Gwen Thompson. In keeping with today's economy, Gwen is homeless. I'm not sure if she comes with a cardboard box and shopping cart, but it just seems in poor taste. Besides, if you plunk down your $100 and buy her, she would technically not be homeless anymore. It would be almost OK if the proceeds of the doll went to help kids in homeless shelters. The photo above is a store that just sells American Doll clothes. You could probably dress 5,000 homeless children with what people will spend buying all these doll clothes. I'll stick with the $7.99 Barbie, Thank you.
You better hurry to CVS Pharmacy if you want to get your very own Obama Chia pet. They just put them out on the shelves and I think they will be snapped up quickly. It would be big fun to watch his hair grow longer and longer. You could cut it into all sorts of fun designs. I'm going to buy Tierney one for Christmas. I'm sure she'll have fun giving him hair cuts. Plus, she needs something to store all her JCrew headbands on.
You better think twice before you break the law in Elm Park. The Massachusetts town of Worcester is serious about cracking down on crime. A man was sentenced to 18 months in prison for stealing a mans lunch, his hot dog to be exact. The man started shoving the dog into his mouth, squirting mustard all over his clothes. He was later arrested wearing the same mustard stained shirt. In his possession was a pellet gun and pocket knife. Unfortunately, it was hot dog stealing mans third offense so he was sent to the slammer. I bet he'll get his fill of hot dog lunches in jail. I know this photo isn't a hot dog, but I thought the pita dog was cuter.
We had big excitement on our walk today. I was exploring some bushes and undergrowth when I heard a meow. Out pops a big gray cat, right in front of me! He came right up to me and kissed noses. I played with him for a few minutes before Linda said it was time to go. The cat followed us for a little while on our walk before it turned back to go home. I was so happy that my little tail almost wagged itself right off. Chip was very curious what I was up to since she could smell the other cat on me. I hope we meet up with him again on our next walk.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Imagine getting a ticket for walking your dog on a leash in the city park? That is what is happen in a park near Waikiki Beach. Walking your dog on a leash is a criminal offense that carries a fine of up to $500 and/or 30 days in jail. Police have been writing tickets right and left. Pet owners are very unhappy to say the least. They pick-up the pootie, have dog licences and keep their dogs well controlled, but the police say no dogs allowed. I did a little more research about this story. The park is currently home to crack-head dopers who live in makeshift tents. There are also a lot of homeless people sleeping in the park. I guess the homeless people and crack-heads can't afford the $500 fine, so they are going after the people with money.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
One day Chicken Little was eating her lunch. All of a sudden she is hit on the head with an acorn. Chicken Little, believing the sky is falling on her, skedaddles to tell the King. On her way she meets Henny Penny, Cocky Locky, Goosey Loosey and Foxy Loxy. All goes well until Foxy Loxy eats them all up, yum...yum. There are a few different endings, but this is the one Linda remembers reading in her book when she was little. Today, if you read a story like that to a child, you would be charged with emotional child abuse and child services would come and take your kid away. Which brings me to the real story. People in Massachusetts are under siege from falling acorns. They are falling so fast and hard that people are being bonked just walking to their cars. Some people are having to rake the acorns off their front yards. Please remember what happened to Chicken Little. If Foxy Loxy comes by to help you rake, RUN in the other direction.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
....In that order. That is what Cesar says will tame any wild crazy dog. I am always on my best behavior no matter where I go. When I'm at the dog park, I'm kind to all humans and dogs. When I'm at Taylor's soccer games, I am easy and gentle with the babies. When Linda's friends come over to the house, I'm the picture of sweetness. You get the general idea. Gizmo, a tiny 5 pound Pomeranian apparently did not get the memo. She has been kicked out of her town for biting people and being rude. Her human was told by authorities that if the dog was seen again in town, Gizmo was going to be taken to the shelter and put to death. Her human was charged in court with owing a vicious dog. If there was ever a case for the Dog Whisperer, this is it. Mr. Cesar, please contact Ms. Goldrich of Aspen, Colorado and help save Gizmo!! (This is not actually Gizmo's mug shot, I could not find it online so this is a stand-in.)
I lucked out and did not have to go the Vet yesterday. I've had some stomach distress the last 3 days. Thursday night, I woke Linda up 5 times for emergency pp-pad visits. She was worried because the last time this happened I had to get an IV at the Vet and spend 1/2 the day in the Dog Hospital under observation. The nurse said to watch me and call back Saturday if it did not go away. I was also going to have to have a pink medicine squirted into my mouth. I went to bed at Midnight and slept all the way to 7 a.m. without incident. I'm glad because Linda was going to gate me in the kitchen overnight if I kept her up again. I took a long walk this afternoon (no seizures PTL!) and everything worked perfectly normal.
Friday, September 25, 2009
I'm no political genius like Tierney. She has written political blogs and even did some live commentating at her collage during this years elections. I need her to explain how this proposed health care plan is supposed to work. The Joint Committee on Taxation confirmed today that there is a penalty for failing to pay the up to $1,900 fee for not buying health insurance. If you decide not to pay the fine, get ready to cough up a $25,000 fine and possibly face one year in jail. My little Chihuahua brain can not comprehend this. If you can't afford to buy your own health insurance, you really can't afford the $1,900 fee to opt out, and you definitely don't have the extra 25G in your piggy bank. I guess you can look at the positive side: you'll get free health care while you are in jail.
Linda was just rejoicing yesterday that it has been quite a while since I've had a seizure. While we were getting ready for our afternoon walk, I was peppy and felt excited to get outside in the beautiful weather. I started out strong and was having a great time. Linda knows the signs of a seizure coming on, and she noticed my left side was walking a little lopsided. In about 5 seconds, I started tripping. She knew a full blown attack was about to happen, so she sat right down on the sidewalk and held me in her lap until the seizure passed. We were a long way from home and she was worried about getting me home safely. She stood up and noticed that people had cleaned their garage out just a few houses from where we sat. Miraculously, they had put a used baby stroller out at the curb. She carried me over and set me down in the stroller. She even strapped me in for safety. I got the most comfortable ride all the way home! We are keeping it for when we take longer walks or when the ground is wet.
A fourth grade teacher is in a pickle over a baseball error in his classroom. The New York elementary school teacher is a huge Red Socks fan. One of his 9-year old students came into class wearing a NY Yankee's tee shirt. The teacher said he was joking with the boy when he told him that he should turn his tee shirt inside out since everyone knows that teach is a huge Red Sock fan. On the way to recess, the boy turned the shirt inside out. On the playground, he claims that he was teased and made fun of. Of course, that night at home, he told his parents about the teasing. Parents called the principle complaining of the "abuse" caused by the teacher commenting on the boys shirt. They also said the boys First Amendment rights were violated. Now the Red Socked teacher is under investigation and I would not be surprised if he's called Out! by the Umpire. I wonder if he'll start wearing dark blue socks?
P.S. Linda just read this, and said I had to stop using so man run-on sentences and for using way, way, too many commas.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tierney loves to read and goes to the library quite frequently. Linda loves to read and buys her books at the thrift store. Now, they are both going to be thinking twice before the bring the used/old books into the house. A Denver Public Library had to quarantine and fumigate 4 areas of their branch because a man kept returning books filled with BED BUGS! Yuck. I guess if you have bed bugs in your bed and you read in the said bed, those bugs are going to jump into the books. When Tier was little, she would have loved this book.
Or their kin, large water rats. What a nightmare! A poor women was sleeping snug as a bug in a rug when she thought her 3 legged cat jumped on her bed for cuddles. She went to pet her kitty, and was attacked instead by a large 9-inch water rat that had made it's way into her bedroom. She was bitten on her lip by the dreaded rodent. Her husband turned on the lights when he heard her screaming. He fetched (actual word in the news story) his air riffle, but could not get a clean shot off "because the rodent was bouncing off the walls and ripped the toilet holder clean off." (also actual quote in story.) Finally, he shot the rat which he said "made a hell of a squeal" (yep... a quote) and the rat ran away. The women went to the hospital and was treated. No mention was made where the 3-legged cat was during this whole fiasco.
Last time I checked, the United States of America is represented by the American flag. That is why this story is so crazy. The Bank of America has angered some customers and they are responding by closing their accounts because of this story. A women in S. C. was honoring her next door neighbor, a Marine, who was recently killed in Afghanistan by a roadside bomb. She was planting American Flags along the route that the casket would follow. When she put a flag in front of Bank of America, the manager came out and pulled it down. The bank manager said that their corporate policy was not to fly American Flags because it might offend some customers. But wait, isn't your bank is called Bank of America? I could see how flying another countries flag might offend customers, but an American Flag? Of course, the corporate people are now falling all over themselves apologizing and have changed their policy. I think everyone should go out tonight and plant an American flag on their local Bank of America property.
Yip! Yip! Yip! What was Linda thinking this morning? When she left for work, she shut all the bedroom doors. For some reason, she did not notice I was still in Tierney's room. I was stuck in there for 4 hours without my bed, food or water. At least I did not have any accidents on the floor. She heard me crying all the way out in the driveway as soon as she got out of the car. I was besides myself with anxiety when she let me out. I really need to learn to just chill and go with the flow. It's just that I like my routine. Every morning I lay in the sun by the sliding glass door. Then I have a walk & lunch when Linda gets a mid-day break. In the afternoon, I sleep on Taylor's bed. Late afternoon, another walk before Linda's evening classes. Finally, last walk at about 10:30, then I sleep all night on Linda's big bed.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Next time you go to Southgate, Michigan stop in at Mallie's Sports Grill and Bar for a burger. Before you go, invite 184 of your best friends, call ahead for a reservation and hit-up the ATM machine. Their new burger is going to set you back $499.00 and is not "fast-food". The 185 pound monstrosity is baked for 15 hours before it is topped with cheese, lettuce and tomatoes. The bun alone takes 8 hours to bake. Just do yourself a favor and don't order it well done. Some (not all) steakhouse restaurants will use meat that is past it's expiration date if someone orders their beef medium-well or well-done. The more you cook the meat, the more it hides that the meat might not be fresh. I'm sure Mallie only uses the best, prime meat for the monster burger.
Today is September 22... otherwise known as Elephant Appreciation Day. Today is the day that you can celebrate all things Elephant. Let's do an Elephant cheer! E=Elegant; L=Loyal; E=Endearing; P=Powerful; H=Heavy; A=Amusing; N=Noble; T=Talented. Go, Elephants, Go!
(OK, It's a really slow news day.)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Over the past two years, I've posted 9 different stories about Barbies. There is something about the doll that just mesmerizes me. Maybe it is because she looks like a real girl and I can drag her around by her hair and cuddle up with her when Linda is gone. So far, my favorite barbie has been the Pooper-Scooper Barbie. I also like Vet Barbie. How in the world did I miss Pregnant Barbie? Inside a removable stomach panel is a little baby that comes out! I would LOVE to have this Barbie. Not all stores would sell it though. Wal-Mart pulled the pregnant doll of the shelves thinking that customers would be traumatized seeing a pregnant Barbie. In 1997, there was a African American Barbie named Oreo. No joke. There was also a Munster's Barbie; A Pirate Barbie; A Flintstone Barbie; A Wonder Women Barbie; Amazon Barbie.... I could keep tying and typing all day and still not list all the available Barbies.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Since some numb-skull made it Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'm making today "My Little Pony Day." I have my own little pony toy that I love to play with. When Tier was little, she had all sorts of My Little Ponies. Sometimes she would color them with markers, but they were never this good. Here are a few of my favorites. How many can you recognize?
Poor Bunnies. The wild bunny rabbits in the city park of Helsinki, Finland better hide if they know whats good for them. Officials in the city are going to round them all up and give them to the zoo for the lions, wolverines and vultures chow. They say this is cheaper then the food they were giving them and it will help get rid of the bunnies overrunning the parks. I know in nature that predators eat other little animals, but I just can't help but feel sorry for all those little fellas.
That's a face only a mother could love. The dog park was so crowded today, it was overwhelming. There were 3 Yorkies, 3 French Bulldogs; a mini-Pincher; 3 fru-fru mop dogs; a loud mouth Beagle; and a beautiful Chinese dog that was red/white and looked like a fox. The fox dog thought I was a squirrel at first and tried to stalk me, but he finally figured out I was a dog. All the owners were oohing and aahing over me, just like always. I ran a bunch, played tag; smelled all the butts (of the dogs); drank some water then crashed in my carry bag. I had to have a bath when I got home since I always get so dirty. We wish it was nice soft grass instead of dusty gravel. Snickers the long haired Chihuahua, who is my latest boyfriend was not there today. Bummer. I wanted him to see my new haircut.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Taylor's wife Sarah grew up on a dairy farm in upstate New York. There were hundreds and hundreds of cows around all the time. I'm sure she has milked her share of cows when she was a young girl. I'm glad a cow never fell on her though. A man in Florida was milking a cow at a dairy farm today when one of the moo's fell over on him and crushed him. He had to be air-lifted by helicopter to a hospital. He was treated and released. There was no word in the article on how the cow is doing. I hope it did not get amnesia.
Linda just accidentally locked Chip and I out on the deck for 15 minutes! I was traumatized being alone out there without her. Linda was sitting on the deck talking to a friend on the phone. She left the sliding door open and both of us went outside without her realizing it. Then she went back inside, shut the door and went downstairs to fold laundry. After calling out "Laundry!" a bunch of times (I love laying in the hot clothes) and not getting an answer, she came looking for me. After a few minutes when both Chip and I were AWOL, she realized we must be locked outside. I came running in crying my head off. To really make her feel bad, I drank my water for a long time pretending I was dying of thirst. She said to calm down, a lot of dogs stay outside all day long and I was out there for 15 minutes at the most. That may be true, but I have never been outside alone before and I was scared. Chip Cat just laid under the table sleeping. Some comfort she was. This is an old photo of me sitting on the deck in happier times.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I can't imagine the horror that Jessica Simpson must be going through. To see your beloved doggie snatched away in the jaws of a coyote! Oh my, it just gives me the chills even picturing it. Little Daisy, a Maltipoo, was abducted right in front of her in her own yard. Friends, family, and even a professional pet finder service are all out looking for Daisy. There are missing posters, alerts on Twitter and phone calls going out to 1,000 neighbors to see if there has been any sign of the poor pooch. Um, Jessica... I'm pretty sure that Daisy has gone the way of the Rainbow Bridge and won't be coming home. We don't have coyotes in our area, but we do have foxes that are 5 times my size. We are going to be extra careful on the trail from now on. This story is just to close for comfort.
The Mary Kaye party was a big success. Turned out, the sticky-chubby fingered poking babies did come over. This time it was fun because I was running circles around the toddler. He could not figure out how if I ran into the kitchen and he chased me, I ended up behind him! I can run a complete lap into the kitchen, dining room and living room. I actually had fun. They took out all 25 of my squeaky toys and threw them all over the floor. One time, the girl toddler threw me the toy but boinked me right on the head! Tierney was laughing so hard she almost ruined her make up. Here are Tierney, Sarah and Lindsay in there after photos
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tierney and Linda are having people over tonight. Linda has been cleaning and getting stuff ready between her classes. She said there were no babies coming, so I don't have to worry about my tail getting pulled or poked in the eye by chubby fingers. I know there will be cheese (one of my favorite foods) because I could smell it when she was putting it on the platter. I'll have some photos to post tonight before bed. Oh, and I did better getting my harness on for my walk today. I ran and hid, but when Linda found me I let her put it on without a fuss. I even went down the steps to the front door by myself without her having to pull me with the leash.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Because they were too hard to peel, that's why! Poor Blonds, they are always made fun of for not being very smart. Take this sign at a drug store in Houston. I guess the blonds shopping are going to think they are getting a great bargain on special shampoo just for them. We really should not stereo-type. I'm sure there are blonds out there that don't try to peel their M & M's. Every time someone hears that I am 1/2 Chihuahua, they always assume I'm a biting, crabby, unfriendly pooch. That is so not true. I'm the sweetest, nicest dog ever. I let anyone pet me, even sticky babies and am kind to every dog I meet.
Fast food is not good for you. All that salt and saturated fat in the fries and burgers is a heart attack waiting to happen. All the sugar in the soda pop (Linda loves calling it soda pop!) and sweet desserts will rot your teeth and make you fat. The marijuana will make you stupid and the 45-caliber handguns are super lethal to your health. What? You didn't know marijuana and guns came with your drive-thru order? In a South Carolina Micky D's they did. Two teenagers were given the guns and drugs in a bag along with their burger order. They started driving down the road when they realized the strange happy meal prizes. A car trailing them from the restaurant pulled them over and demanded the bag of drugs and gun. Seems that the bag was given to the wrong car, it was for the thugs behind the two boys. The boys handed over the gun and weed (but kept their food) and the bad guys drove off without hurting them. I always wondered why Ronald looks so chill, now I know.
Linda is scratching her head wondering why I don't want to take walks anymore. Usually, the minute she gets any pair of shoes on, I go crazy. If I even hear the word shoes, I go crazy. If she touches the draw with the baggies (to clean up after me), I go crazy. Now when she does any of those things, I run and hide! Today she had to pry me out of my snuggle bed to get my harness on. I would not walk down the stairs or go out the front door. She carried me to the grass and then I walked just fine with no complaining. Ever since the two deer jumped in front of us on the trail during our bike ride, I've been scared of going outside. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me, maybe I need to go to the doggy psychology center in LA with Cesar and Daddy.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
When I go to the Dr. for my check-ups, the Vet always tells me I'm 1 pound overweight and should only weigh 4 pounds, not 5. It seems impossible to me that I am fat since I get so much exercise and barely eat, but I guess a lot of humans feel that way too. There is a 340-pound Oregon man who works at a pizza joint. He hurt his back at work and needs surgery. Problem is, he is too fat for surgery. His employer has been ordered to pay for weight-loss surgery so the man can get his back fixed. The court also ruled in another case that an employer must pay for an employee's weight loss surgery because they hurt their knee at work and are too fat for the knee surgery to be effective. Now, some obese people are worried that they won't be hired for jobs because the employers are afraid that they will be held libel for expensive weight loss operations if the worker gets hurt. I have bad knees too. Maybe I better try a little harder to lose my extra weight in case I need surgery.
I had another fun bike ride today. When I saw the carry-me-front pack come off the wall hook, I dove head first off the step into the carrier... before Linda even set it down! This time we rode so fast it felt like I was flying. Linda only stopped once so I could take a potty break, which was fine because I wanted back in the pack! The trail was much more crowded then last week so we did not see any deer today, thank goodness. We rode to the Bagel Cafe for lunch where Linda met 3 friends who have never seen me, but had heard about me. They thought I was the cutest puppy ever. I tasted egg salad today, YUM!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Yeah! Tierney got home safe and sound from Myrtle Beach. I missed her, but I think Linda missed her more. The house was so quite (code word for clean) without her here. While Tier was driving home, she ate at this North Carolina BBQ joint called Moore's. This photo was actually on the sign hanging outside the restaurant. Who in there right mind would go in there and order BBQ chicken after walking past the picture of the poor clucker being BBQ'd alive? The pig doing the grilling certainly looks smug. Doesn't he know he is probably next?
If you are wondering why there has been no updates today, blame Linda. She left to teach this morning at 8:00 and did not come back until 3:00! (She has 5 classes in a row on Saturdays, so that leaves little Choopie all alone and bored.) She did take me for a quick walk at 3:00, but then she had to make something in the oven to take to her Care Team Group for dinner. She left again at 4:30 and just came back home a little while ago. Even though she was the tiredest she has ever been, she took me for a nighttime walk. It was the least she could do since she felt so bad I was alone so many hours. I really need a little puppy (or even a big dog) to keep me company. I never got lonely when Snickers was here and he kept me safe from mean cats with sharp claws. He was my everything.
Friday, September 11, 2009
It was so cold during our walk today that we had to run home because Linda was freezing. It felt perfect to me, but I have a fur coat. No bike ride today since the trail would have been too slippery. None tomorrow either since Linda will be busy from 8 am to 8 pm. I found out that I love black beans. I ate about 10 today from Linda's lunch plate. Boy, they sure help keep you regular. I'm sad because my favorite Chihuahua website where I posted my photo to did not pick me as one of the top 10 most downloaded dogs. What's up with that? (This Chi named Princess is number 1. She looks drunk to me.) There is another site called My Chihuahua is Cuter Then Your Chihuahua. Maybe I'll win on that one. I choked on a bit of my chewie tonight while we were watching Dog Whisperer. Linda almost had to do the Heimlich-remover to save me. I ended up spitting it up alone, but she took the big piece away from me. I'm pitching a fit because I want it back.
I usually don't like changes in my schedule. It is comforting to know that on Friday, the same things always happen. Today, Linda threw me for a loop. She got up really early and left the house. (That's normal.) Then, about 45 minutes later, she came back home and started cleaning! This was definitely out of the ordinary. Usually she is gone for 6 hours, then comes home and cleans. Today she leaves again for 2 hours, comes back home and devoted the entire afternoon to making me happy! She even bought me a new pig ear chewie. Linda said this is the way it's going to be for awhile. She lost her morning class (NOT a good thing), but she gained extra time with me (a VERY good thing.) Linda is going to make these burger muffins since she has a couple of extra hours free on Fridays. They are made all with different muffin mixes and colored icing. We can't figure out what the yellow cheese is made of. Maybe it's large pieces of coconut dyed yellow.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
What do you do to your cat when they use you bed for a litter box? That happened to Linda when Licorice Cat was dying from a big belly tumor. She was so sick at the end that she peed on the expensive bedspread. Linda just cuddled Licky in a blanket and threw the spread away. A man in Palm Beach did not react so sweetly when his cat peed on his bed. He dragged the cat out to the garage to teach it a lesson. He took his handgun and fired it into a blow-up floatie toy to scare one of the lives out of his cat. He never meant to hit the cat, but the cops who came to his house still arrested him for breaking the shooting a firearm in an occupied dwelling law. I don't think the cat will be anteing up the $5,000 bail.
This is my nightmare. Every single time I have to use the pee-pee pad in the middle of the night, I have to walk down the dark hall from Linda's bedroom to the kitchen. Chip waits in the dark to pounce on me and scare the fur off me. I now make Linda walk me down the hall and wait for me because there have been too many sneak attacks. Why does she insist on tormenting me? All I ever wanted was to just be friends with her.