Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Everyone has their own dream of how they imagine their wedding day. When this bride was a little girl, I wonder if she imagined that she would look like a zombie on her special day? I think she is wearing vampire fangs, but it could just be her regular teeth. The grooms shirt is nice, kind of like the Seinfeld shirt. The little peaks on his head look like devil horns. I do love her traditional white dress! Maybe the dog collar around her neck is something borrowed from her pooch. I'm still puzzled about her maid of honor. Is it a boy or a girl? And what is the white puff over her right shoulder? Is it Granny's gray head?
I really thought I lost weight. My belly is not as rounded and I look slimmer. Linda just put me on the digital scale and I am STILL 6.2 pounds! Exactly what I was a few weeks ago. Looks like I'm going to have to take things up a notch. Linda said there are yoga classes and DVD's for dogs. Maybe that is what I need to get the scale moving. (Plus this outfit is adorable and I must have it!)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I love writing my blog. Even if it's not as popular as Miss Celina's blog, it still is fun to write. Another blog on blogspot that is fun to look at is fatcatlover.blogspot. The blog is just photos of fat, overweight cats. I am going to submit a photo of Chip since she qualifies as a fat cat. How about this one?
Monday, March 29, 2010
The other day Linda stuffed a bag of old clothes full of tee's just like this. She was going to donate the bag to the thrift store, but after seeing this tee shirt, she has decided to put the clothes up on ebay. This olive green cotton t-shirt is on sale at a web site called net a porter. The price: $1,625. I guess it is so much money because the site describes it as "100% distressed cotton that simply slips on." She'll make a fortune if she sells her ripped shirts at even half that price. Imagine what she could get for her paint splattered, ripped jeans?
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Linda has been thinking more and more about my dog park fears. Yesterday's trip was a total bust. I growled at every single dog that wanted to play with me. She has been reading article after article and maybe has found the answer. It seems like she might be perpetuating my dog park growling. When I am afraid or unsure, I growl at the dog trying to play with me. Immediately, Linda (and Jerry... you know you do it too) picks me up to save me saying "Poor Choopie, I'll save you.. don't be scared... it's OK.) Linda has trained me that when I growl, I get picked up and loved. The trainers say that she is supposed to leave me down and let me explore and learn on my own. Most dogs at the dog park don't mean me any harm at all. I'll never learn this if she keeps picking me up. If Linda is confident that I'll be OK, I'll learn not to be a paranoid Chorkie every trip to the park. My little growl might turn into fear aggression where I do more then simply growl, but bite. The next nice day she is going to test it out and see if it really works. After all, how could this little puppy be scary?
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Linda is a vegetarian. She respects others who choose to eat meat and does not judge or try to get them to stop eating bloody flesh. She says if they want to stuff themselves with rotten, dead, steroid-filled animal carcasses, that is their business. A 28-year old man thought he had to drive home his belief that meat is evil. Armed with a knife, he entered the Indiana store and slashed open all the fresh meat, spilling it on the floor. For some bizarre reason, he sprinkled the raw meat with dog food while he was on his rampage. Employees were threatened with the knife when they tried to stop the crazed slasher. When he was arrested he told police that he is trying to save little girls from eating the meat and getting chubby. His quote: "If I can save one little chubby girl, I've done my job"
It turned out to be an awesome Saturday! Sure, I had to get up early, but I had plenty of naps all day. During Linda's CPR training (which she passed!) Jerry took me to the dog park. I still am not very comfortable there. I growled at the dogs who are too rambunctious and want to play ruff. After trying for awhile and still not feeling the warm fuzzies, Jerry took me to the huge soccer field. I ran like the wind until my legs conked out. I'd make a good winger. Wingers need to be super-fit and be able to run very fast. When we got back, I crashed. I've been sleeping on and off since we got home. I'm so tired that I don't even mind Chip sharing Linda's lap.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Linda woke me up at 5:15 this morning. As in a.m. As in when it is still pitch black outside. What was she thinking?? She took me out of her nice warm bed and put me in my cold, lonely kitchen bed. At least she could buy me this ultra snugly pita pocket bed! I fell asleep about 3 minutes after she left the house and did not wake up again until she got home late morning. We went for a 30 minute walk and then I ate my chicken. Jerry is coming over later to puppy-sit me while Linda goes to CPR. That is always big fun. I hope I can stay awake to play.
Friday, March 26, 2010
For the longest time I was in denial about my weight. My hair was so long and crazy, I just thought I wasn't fat, I was fluffy. Now with my new short spring cut, I guess it is time to fess up to my problem. OK, so it wasn't the fur. I'm a tad chubby. When you are as little as I am, being 24 ounces overweight is in the obese category. My current weight is a hefty 6.2 pounds, my goal weight is 5.0 pounds. (Ideally the vet said 4.5 pounds, but I'm taking it in stages.) This is my "before" photo. I'll post update photos along my weight loss journey. I wonder if they have Jenny Craig for pets?
Linda was looking for a nice place to take her family for dinner. Someone recommend The Inn at Little Washington. Yes, it is a 5 star restaurant. Yes, very important reviewers from The New York Times call it the most magnificent restaurant in this country or even Europe. He also said it was the most fantastic meal he has ever had in his life. Yes, movie stars in private jets, millionaires in limos, and big name politicians dine there. Sounds like a really amazing place. Linda decided to look at the menu online. Here are some of the choices: Veal Tongue; Big Eye Tuna; Baby Lamb; Creek Oyster Slurpees (as in 7-11 Slurpees made with oysters); Ossetra Caviar; Braised Rabbit; Foie Gras (duck liver); Lilliputian Shrimp; Veal Sweetbreads (you don't want to know what they are); Seared Duck; Medallions of Rabbit Loin; Oxtail and Lilliputian Rabbit Rib. I think she'll keep looking for another fancy restaurant that does not serve so many pets and odd animal parts. Plus the $168 per person price tag might be a little too steep for her pocketbook.
Tomorrow Linda has to go to CPR class. CPR is when you help save someones life. It is good that she is taking the course, even if she'll be gone for hours. A man in Jefferson County also had CPR training. He saw a need and did not think twice before dropping to his knees and breathing into the mouth of a car accident victim. Only one little problem. The victim (dead, in this case) was a opossum. Police were called to the scene when witnesses saw the (drunk) man in the middle of the road trying to revive the dead animal by breathing into it's mouth. One word.... Ewwwwww!
That's right, this morning I was an honorary Doctor at Tierney's work. I went in to her office and met the people that she works with. Of course everyone wanted to hold me and coo pretty things to me. All except Megan, I think she was afraid she would fall in love with me and want to get her own little Chalupa puppy. It's OK Megan, I still think your nice. You can make it up to me by baking me homemade dog biscuits. Even though it was an adventure, I think I'll be a stay-at-home dog and not a career dog.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
When Tier and Taylor were little, they used to love to get the prizes that come with the kid's meals at fast food joints. Once when there mini-beanie babies, adults were fighting with each other over the toys. I think a grown-up grabbed Tier's beanie right out of her hand and ran out of the restaurant with it. (Tierney, is that really true?) Some politicians in California are trying to make it against the law to add a toy to the kids meal box. They say that fast food makes fat kids. They want to hold the fast food places responsible instead of the individual ordering. What? I think parents make their kids fat by giving them too much fast food because of over scheduled life styles. Adults ordering their lunch are not forced to say "Super-super size it and please add 2 apple pies.... to go" If Tier and Taylor wanted to eat 2 meals a day, 7 days a week at the fast food joint where the clown has big feet just for the toy, it would be up to Linda to say NO! to clown feet! How about keeping the toy in the meal and parents taking charge to use happy meals as an occasional treat? Better yet, offer other choices. Change the fries to fruit, breaded nuggets to baked chicken, and burgers to veggie burgers on whole wheat, no cheese. (I don't know why I'm blogging about this, I have never eating fast food in my life. If they start adding dog toys to the meals, things might change.)
The little boy seems to love his pet snake. The wee snake by the berry is just adorable. Linda had a pet snake, a 3 1/2 foot long python named Rocky. He was very sweet and loved to wrap himself around Linda's shoulders when she did chores. He never bit her or hissed at her once. He did try to eat Chip once when she was just a kitten. Rocky got out of her cage and cornered Chip, he was just about to strike when everyone came running and saved Chip from certain death. That is when she got rid of him. I'm very glad because Rocky would be at least 5 feet long if he still lived here. I've got enough problems without being eating by a snake.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
I've never done this before, and I hope the internet police don't come and arrest me for copying the story from their site. This story made me tear-up and Linda actually cried a little. (Of course, Linda cries at all dog stories.) I know it's long, but read to the end. Rosie reminds me so much of Snickers. Snickers took care of Sheba the same way Rosie took care of Mary. From USA Today:
I have a 130 pound Newfoundland named Rosie. When I brought her home as a puppy she became good friends with my next door neighbor, Mary. Mary had grown up in Newfoundland and instantly fell in love with this black fluffy puppy.
She took her for walks and would let her out of the back yard fence for a tussle many afternoons.
About a year after we got Rosie, Mary fell ill with lung cancer. For awhile she seemed to be doing well after chemo and radiation. When the cancer returned, Mary retreated to her house. It seems that in the town she had grown up in, cancer was a shameful thing, one you kept a secret for as long as you could. It was Maine, it was winter, we left for work in the dark and got home in the dark and didn't notice that it had been some months since we had seen Mary.
That spring, my husband Greg, saw Mary briefly and told me she was clearly dying. A week later she was dead. My husband and son went to the funeral, I was away on a business trip. Once they got home, they had an astonishing story to relate.
Mary's two brothers from Newfoundland, on discovering that Greg and my son Dash, lived next door and were the owners of Rosie revealed that every day for the last few months of Mary's life, Rosie had hopped the fence between our yards, went to Mary's deck and barked to be let in. Mary's husband Keryn, or one of her brothers would open the door and Rosie would bound in, lick Mary's face, lay down next to her for awhile and then be walked back to our yard and let back in through the gate.
Mary's husband Keryn, said they never told us because they were afraid we'd lock Rosie inside if we knew she could jump the fence. That Mary loved seeing her and it brought Mary comfort.At that moment, I realized that Rosie had a separate life from ours, with her own business, loves and obligations and she did what she had to do to meet them. The fence she leap over was 4 feet tall. Rosie continues to have a relationship with Keryn, Mary's husband. He always keeps a cookie in his pocket for her and she listens for sounds of him doing yard work. I don't know if there is anyone else in the neighborhood she visits.
Linda does not send too many texts a day, maybe 1 or 2. Tierney probably sends 10 times that amount. A 16-year old girl in Chicago sends 100 times that amount! So many that she has lost feeling in her hands, has to wear braces on both wrists and get pain-killing injections right into her arms. She will be going under the knife to have surgery to fix her wrists. The girl has cut back her texting, but is still sending over 50 a day. Instead of getting the text monkey off her back and quiting, she wants to buy an iPhone because the touch screen won't hurt her as much. Does this girl have a parent who knows how to say "No"? Obviously the girl is not bright enough to stop on her own. (I had to look up text shortcuts on the net because I did not know any. There are actual sites with pages and pages of shortcuts you can learn. If teens studied their work as much as learning these shortcuts, they would be getting all A's. If you are like me, it says "been addicted to text.")
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Linda NEVER lets me walk off leash, even though she thinks that I would stay right with her and obey. Now we have to worry about someone stealing me while I'm on the leash. In a neighboring county, an 8-week old puppy named Yeti was stolen RIGHT OFF HIS LEASH. A boy was out walking his dog in the middle of the afternoon when two dognappers snatched the leash out of his hand and napped the puppy! Two days later the puppy was found on a citizens front porch. They called the police to report finding the dog and the pup was returned unhurt to his family. Come on people, there are lots of dogs at the pound waiting to be adopted, why would you steal a pet that does not belong to you? P.S. When I was looking for a photo of the pup Yeti, I found a hot dog restaurant that serves veggie and beef hot dogs with Yeti Chili on top. I want to go out for a Yeti Dog!
I just wrote about the lady who is going to make a million dollars from Rear Guard. Well, I wonder if anyone has made Uggs for Pugs yet? I saw this little drawing and thought, brilliant! Uggs for Pugs would be a big hit. I bet they are already available for sale. I'm going to keep working on new ideas to make my million dollars. How about Clogs for Frogs? Or Tats for Cats? (Custom drawn tattoos for your kitty.) Wigs for Pigs?? Gloves for Doves?
Sometimes going to the dog park can be pretty intimidating. Other dogs get right up in your business and stick their noses places it does not belong! Now, I have a way to make them mind their bees-wax. Rear Gear is the answer! It simply attaches to a any pets tail and covers Mr. Brown Eye. It's a genius idea that will make the girl who invented them a millionaire. I think I'll order the cupcake guard. I might get the disco ball too for special occasions. (I wonder what happens if you have to go number 2?)
I was hoping for a relaxing Sunday afternoon, taking a long walk then snoozing on the couch with Linda. Well, I got the long walk but the two hours after we got home was anything but a nap. Linda decided the carpet was in desperate need of shampooing. First she vacuumed the entire upstairs 3 times. She kept dumping the dirt/hair receptacle and vacuumed again over and over until there was nothing to empty. Then out came our big, noisy carpet shampooer. Chip saw it coming and she made a bee-line for the downstairs. I was upstairs running anywhere but where the noise was. Plus, the damp carpet feels weird on my feet. It's finally done and I immediately hit the couch for a nap. I better not have an accident on the carpet or I'll be in deep trouble. I have to admit it looks wonderful. Good job, Linda.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Jerry took me on the longest walk of my life. We went on the wooded trail by Linda's house. He let me lead the way and choose the paths. The only time he carried me is when we had to cross the streams. There is no way I can jump from the stepping stones that are lined up for the humans to cross. Most of the dogs just wade through the water, but it would be over my head. (Plus, Snickers used to do that and he would stink up the house when he got home from the dried stream water on his fur.) I still refused to eat my food, even after all the exercise. Because Linda and Jerry love me so much, they went to Trader Joe's to buy the organic, all natural chicken tenderloins that are my favorite. The generic brand of chicken Linda bought at Safeway was horrible tasting and I refused to eat a bite of it. As soon as the TJ chicken came out of the oven and Jerry shredded it... into my belly it went. Yum!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Linda had a fun night watching Taylor, Sarah and Tierney play a giant game of human fooseball. The entire gym was set up as two giant fooseball tables. The 20 players on each team had to hold hands and stay in line, moving side to side kicking the ball. It was hysterical to watch. Taylor scored all the goals for his team and Sarah scored a goal too. Tierney was on defense and had to play barefoot because she wore flip-flops to the game. Too bad Linda did not have her camera. Instead, she is using a photo of the next best thing.... Barbie fooseball.
This time, going to the Vet's office wasn't all that bad. I had a really nice lady, Dr. McFeely. The Vet tech, Josh, weighed me before Dr. McFeely came in. My weight history is as follows:
Jan 07- 2 pounds; Feb 08- 4.2 pounds; July o8- 5.75; today 6.2 pounds. Less then a one pound gain from last summer. My new diet is 1/4 a cup a day of food and lots of exercise. She wants me to weigh what I did back in Feb. 08, about 4.5 pounds. I've got some work to do, that's for sure. The Lyme and Heartworm test came back negative. All the added breathing problems are just seasonal allergies. I have some medicine to take at night to help my breathing. Of course the worst part of the exam is when they take my temperature, it is very unpleasant. After my exam, Linda took me for a walk at the park next door since I was so good at the Dr's.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Linda is constantly on the lookout for one of the many hawks what fly the skies over my house and in my woods. From 30 feet up, I look exactly like a bunny in the grass. I'm about the same size and coloring too. Our biggest fear is that a hawk is going to swoop down and carry me away. That is what happened on Monday to Poppy the chihuahua. Poppy was playing in the yard with one of her humans, a 9-year old little boy when a big bird dove down and grabbed the 3-pound dog in his sharp talons! The boy's mom looked up and saw Poppy flying away in the claws of the bird! Poppy was crying and screaming. How horrible. The humans searched and searched all night, finally the went to bed and prayed for Poppy's life. Early the next morning, Poppy was at the front door whining to come in. She was dirty and scratched, but in one piece. "Miracles can happen" said Elizabeth, the thankful Mom.
I love this beautiful weather! It's over 70 degrees, the sun is shinning and I should feel like walking and playing. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling so good. My poor trachea problem is really acting up and I am choking up a storm. Linda has called my Vet and I have to go to see her tomorrow. I was so hoping to get some of this weight off before I went for my yearly check-up. I hope it's just a hair-ball or something like that. Maybe it's the extra pound causing pressure on my little throat! I'm going to be scolded, I already know it. Linda will probably be snapping photos during the visit like she always does. I'll post the shots and write about my appointment tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll be better ASAP and can go out and play in the sunshine tomorrow. How come Tier and her friends get to eat a giant s'more and I have to diet?? Not fair.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Some dogs get to go to work with their owners. I don't go with Linda because there is way too much yelling and hitting in her TKD classes and the music is blasting in her group exercise classes. If she had a regular "day" job where she stood behind a counter or sat at a desk, it would be different and I would love to go with her. Soli, a dog from Maryland, goes to the jewelry store with her owner George. Soli just lolls around and sleeps behind the counters all day long. Pretty boring, except for the other day when a diamond dealer came into the store. The salesman was showing George a huge 3-carat $20,000 ring when oooops... the ring hit the floor. Soli thought it was a snack and gulped it right down. George had to scrutinize Soli's poop for 3 days before there was a glimmer of hope. The ring appeared and Soli was just fine. George washed the diamond off and gave the ring back to the dealer. I wonder if the dealer will tell the new owner about the rings adventure?
Tiereny put a YouTube video of me up when I was just a little pup doing all sorts of tricks. It was cute, but no where near as cute as "Kiko, The Riverdancing Chihuahua". He does a little Irish jig right in time to the Riverdance music! It made me happy just to watch it. Linda is going to train me to do a dance and put it on YouTube. Kiko's video is less then a minute, so for a little chuckle, check it out. This is not Kiko, this is Lucky bathing in a tub of Lucky charms.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
A few weeks ago I posted about a new Barbie who has 3 little pup's to paper train. Barbie uses a little bottle to give the pups a drink, then they pee on the pee-pee pad. The pad actually changes color after the dog uses it! Here is another Barbie and her dog Tanner. Tanner eats the little kibble bits then poops it out. The Barbie has a special magnetic scooper that picks up the poop and puts it in the little waste receptacle. Tanner will keep pooping as long as you keep feeding him. I wonder if the plastic food comes out as poop and you have to re-feed Tanner the poop? Ewww. I want to get both the pee-pee pad Barbie and the pooper-scooper Barbie. I wonder if they have a Kitty Cat Barbie? The cat could stink up the litter box, scratch your furniture and ignore you when you come home.
How is this possible? Another shoplifter caught stuffing things in his pants! Two posts in one day, this has to be a record for choopieslife. This one is kind of sad, but funny too. A 51 year old man was hungry and had no money. He went to the grocery store to do a little "pants" shopping. Into his pants went 3 rump steaks, a large pack of lamb shops, beef tongue, limes and two onions. Security guards caught him and the man took the items out slowly, one at a time when confronted by the police. The economy is really hitting people hard. Over the past few months, the local police have also caught a man shoving disposable diapers down his pants. Two other man hid sausages and large packs of meat in his pants. I hope Linda never falls on hard times and is tempted to hid a pack of tofu in her jeans.
Linda and I are making up for all the snowy/rainy days. It was still in the high 60's when she got home from her teaching her third and final TKD class, so we went for another walk. We walked a 1/2 hour this morning and another 1/2 hour this evening. Linda was listening to her iPod and practicing her Body Combat moves during the walk. A lady actually stopped her and asked her what she was doing! Turns out the lady is a black belt in another style martial arts. They could have had a sparring match right there on the sidewalk. I'll drop this extra weight in no time at all if we keep up this schedule. If Linda continues to do her kicking and punching combination's during our walk, I better start wearing a Martial Arts tee shirt so I can be ready to fight too if we get into a sparring match.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Linda has a thing for watches. Every time she goes to the mall, she looks at the watches. The most expensive watch she has is under $150. The least expensive is $7. Some people spend thousands and thousands on their timepieces. A company in Switzerland makes one of a kind creations. They are all beautiful and unique. This particular watch is causing quite a stink. It sells for a mere $11,290 and the dial is made from fossilized dinosaur poop. I wonder how many American cane toads had to die to make the toad skin leather strap? What would PETA say?
I am fretting and worrying about what my Dr. is going to say about my 1 pound winter weight gain. Linda has cut out my snacks and scaled back my diet to help me slim down. We are also taking more walks when the weather allows. This is a photo of me at my goal weight, 4 pounds. A NJ women is also on a diet, but she wants to gain weight, 400 pounds to be exact. She is currently 600 pounds but has her heart set on hitting her goal weight of 1,000 pounds. This is true, I saw her photo. She has a web site where people pay a fee to watch her stuff her face with junk food, eating over 12,000 per day. She sits all day long and tries to burn as little calories as possible. Her weekly grocery bill is $815. The women actually has a young daughter and husband. The husband is encouraging her to reach her 1,000 pound goal. I find this story sickening. Yuck, and double yuck.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
What do you mean it's time to get up? I'm so tired and want to sleep in. This was me this morning when Linda tried to make me get out of bed. I was snuggled down into the sheets and peeked out while she had her phone in her hand. She snapped this adorable photo of me just as I woke up. Admit it, I'm the cutest dog ever.
I wish I would have thought of this nifty idea. A student at Harvard Business School is getting ready to launch a new web site tomorrow. GO TRY IT ON is a site where you can get plenty of free styling advise and feedback from other people. Say you are in the dressing room at Nordstroms trying on a pair of jeans. You are not sure if they look good on you or what accessories to wear with them. All you do is whip out your cell phone, snap a photo and post it on GO TRY IT ON. Other people will comment on your choice and give you honest feedback. Someone at JCrew might tell you that they have a perfect blazer to match the jeans. Maybe someone else tells you that your butt looks huge in them. You can also try on things in your closet and see what others think of your outfits. Linda said she is going to post a photo of me wearing my 4 different jackets to see what kind of feedback I get. If I wasn't so chubby, my navy blue pea coat with the gold buttons would be the clear winner. Unfortunately, I can't button it anymore. My sky blue suede coat is a close second and I can still wear that.
Scientists don't even know how many zeros a zillion has. I don't know why they would use a number that is not countable. It's like saying something is a billion-gazillion-bajillion. But that is what the scientists are saying about a rare all black penguin is.... a one-in-a-zillion mutation. Blacky was spotted in Antarctica by a National Geographic reporter. I bet I'm a one-in-a-zillion adorable Chorkie. There is not another one out there exactly like me!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
It's hard to believe that I'm descendant of a wolf, but it is true. My great-great-great-great-great-great (maybe more) grandfather was a wolf. How did a 160 pound snarling flesh tearing dog become a little 5 pound Chorkie? There are a lot of wolves in Alaska, but there has never been a documented case of a wolf killing a human. Monday, the body of an Chignik Bay school teacher was found surrounded my wolf tracks. She was mauled to death by up to 4 wolves while she was jogging along a trail. Pretty scary stuff.
Today was the longest time I've ever spent alone. I've gone 8-hours before, but today I made it 12 hours! I'm so proud of myself. Linda left at 8:00 a.m for work and did not get home until 8 p.m.! She made sure I had a huge breakfast so I would not starve. I have to say I was r-e-a-l-l-y happy to see her tonight, and I didn't even want to eat my chicken. All I wanted was to snuggle with her. I'll eat in a second after I say I love you, love you. love you.... Jerry is coming to get me tomorrow for a new adventure, so it was good I got my rest today.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I've always wanted my very own Barbie. If you are a long time reader, you know that I've posted about all kinds of fun and cool Barbies. This Barbie Potty Training Pups Playset is my all time favorite! Each Barbie comes with 3 puppies who actually drink, plus collars, chew toys that fit in the pup's mouth, water bowls, beds, balls and newspapers that change colors when the pups pee on them! Barbie has bendy knees so she can kneel down and help them find the pee-pee pad. I might actually order two (Barbies, not pee pee pads.)
If you are a terrorist and you live in South Carolina, you better get your checkbook out. Any and all terrorists from the state now are legally required to register with the SC Secretary of State and pay a $5 fee. If you are caught planning on overthrowing the government or blowing something up and you don't have your licence, you will face a $25,000 fine and up to 10 years in jail on top of your possible execution for your terrorist crime. If all states required this, maybe the terrorists would repent, turn over a new leaf and become preschool teachers... or not.