I just discovered something really amazing. A unicorn has been found alive in Italy! This is good news. I've always believed in unicorns. They are mentioned many times in the bible. It is also true that unicorns can only be discovered by those of exceptional virtue and honesty, which describes me perfectly. To celebrate, I am going to transform myself into the ultimate unicorn. This kit includes a horn, hoof attachments, mane fur, a tail and glitter. For some reason, the kit is not legal in California, New Mexico and parts of Maine. (This is all true!) I guess it's because the horn is a SCREW IN HORN. You read it right. I'm not screwing the horn in because my head is so small, I would have no brains left. Then I would have the same I.Q. as Chip.
