It's so hot the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

Since MSNBC has been reading my blog and scooping my stories, I'm going to pay them back. So there. It's been hot here in Virginia, but other places have also experienced a rise in the tempetuare. In Rome, it's the hottest summer in 20 years. In order to keep their zoo animals cool, children in the zoo's summer school have made frozen blocks of kiwi, melon, grapefruit and apples as snacks to keep them cool. The frozen treat blocks force them to eat slower and it helps their digestion. The bears get ice blocks with frozen fish. The fruit ice sounds yummy, but the last time I ate fish I had some kind of a seizer, so I'll leave that for Yogi and Smokey Bear to enjoy. After lunch, the animals can frolic in their pools or play in the sprinkler. On the 4th of July, Linda is going to set the sprinkler up in the backyard so Snicks and I can chase the ball under the water spray. Then we'll enjoy our ice pops & burgers. Since I'm a kind dog, Chip can come to the picnic but she has to stay up on the deck in the burning hot sun and drink lukewarm water while she watches us since cat's hate water. (My server won't let me upload any photos, darn. I'll try again later.)

No Wonder There is "MAD" Cow Disease

I love chasing my ball up and down the hallway. Every night before bed, Linda tosses the ball and I run, run, run after it. Sometimes she does it in the dark so I have to use my "spidy" senses to find it. She also likes to laugh when Chip cat hides in the doorways and jumps out at me. My little ball is rubber and squeaks. Today I found out something very disturbing about leather balls. Did you know it takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs? Just one year! Most of the leather purchased in the US is imported from far away places like China. The conditions for these poor cows are just horrible. Besides being starved, forced to march long distances, and crammed tightly into transport trucks, the slaughter process is too horrible to even write about. If that was not enough, a certain basketball star who's initials are MJ makes more money from Nike Leather Shoes annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. Guess what the average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. A lot of cows are dying annually for sports balls and sneakers. Hey Ya'll, lets start playing with rubber balls! Killing rubbers does not seem nearly as bad as killing cows. Check out this site: www.veganstore.com.

Aliens Abduct Bat Boy

OK, this is getting a little bit ridiculous. Every single time I find a peculiar story about, oh...say obese monkeys... the very next day it shows up on MSNBC or some other news page. This has
been happening on a very regular basis. Obviously, all the major news outlets must be reading "choopies life: life in the dog house"and stealing my stories. If any of todays topics show up tomorrow, I better start getting a finders fee or at least some Milk Bones. Let's see if they fall for the bait and write a story about Bat Boy being abducted by aliens. (I know for a fact that it wasn't aliens, it was Big Foot who abducted Bat Boy because he was heartbroken about Centaur leaving.)

Pass the 'nanas please

I'm used to living with a very fat cat, but when I saw theses photos of the monkeys at the Ohama Park in Sakai, Osaka I realized Chip is only chubby. The tourists feed them all day long resulting in grossly porky primates. Park Officals have slashed the monkeys calories by 60% and started feeding them extra healthy veggies, grains and fish. Months have gone by with no change in their weight. In fact, many think they are getting even fatter. How? Cleaners have been finding candy wrappers and peanut shells in their cages in the morning. They should hire Linda to be their Weight Watcher leader and personal trainer. She could whip them into shape in no time flat.

Open Wide and Say AHH

Snickers is checking to see if I have any cavities. I should probably go to the doggie dentist to get my teeth cleaned. Many vet's estimate that up to 75% of dogs that do not receive dental care will develop signs of dental disease before the age of three Yikes, I don't want that to be me! Sometimes Linda brushes my teeth with a baby toothbrush, but I hate it and try to get away so she doesn't really get to do a good job. She should be thankful she doesn't have to brush Mr. Hippos teeth. There are vets that even put braces on cats and dogs. I guess the owners of this cat spent all their money on NASCAR and could not afford to get their cat braces.

I Promise I'll Change

I have been doing so much better telling Linda I have to go to the pee-pee pad. I've only had one accident since the last blog entry about having to get an embarrassing litter box. Now, she is threating me with Doggie Depends. These diapers that stay on with a diaper holder-upper. This has to be the most degrading thing ever made. If Linda makes me wear this, I am driving myself to the pound. If I do have to be subjected to this fashion disaster, maybe I can get a cute sun dress to cover it. Um... by the way, where is this poor pups tail? And what if I go #2? Does it just stick to my fur? And who changes the diaper when no one is home? No way am I wearing one of these.

Burger Surfin' USA

I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with the 4th of July. Besides our fireworks popcorn party, we are going to make cheeseburgers. (Well, soy veggie burgers for Linda and Tierney.) Yum, Yum, Yum, I can't wait to chow down. We won't be making this 78 1/2 pound monster. Besides 55 pounds of beef that is cooked 6 1/2 hours, it takes 2 large heads of letuce, 15 tomato's, 4 whole onions, 35 slices of cheese, 1 1/2 cups of mustard, 1 cup ketchup and 4 whole pickles. We could make a smaller burger. The worlds smallest burger is even smaller then a sugar pack. That would be just one Choopie Bite. We might want to treat ourselves and try Burger King's $170. made with Kobe beef and a bunch of other expensive stuff. I'll probably end up getting an Alpo-burger patty which would be just fine with me!!

I Am Not A Cat

My life as I know it as about to change. Linda told me today that she is sick and tired of me missing the pee pee pad. (Sometimes by as much as 20 feet.) She did some research and will be training me to use puppy litter. I know that kitty litter is something you throw out your car window, and it's making me scared that I am getting puppy litter. She told me not to worry, it's not that kind of litter. These are little paper pellets called Second Nature that go in a box and that is what I'll use from now on to go wee. I'm a little nervous, but it's better then GOING TO THE DOG POUND that she keeps threating me with.

KFC Boses Aren't Chicken.....

But they sure are extra crispy. I love chicken. I'm not sure I ever had Kentucky Fried Chicken, but I guess its just like the kind Linda makes for me, except a man named Ken Tucky must cook it. Mr. Tucky took some of his top executives to a golf resort which was really nice of him. Part of the weekend included an exercise to develop trust and leadership skills. Unfortunately it went horribly wrong. 30 KFC managers participated in a"fire-walking" workshop. The executives suffered moderate to severe burns on their feet after walking across burning hot ashes. Twenty-eight people were taken to the hospital to be treated. In all, eleven ambulances responded to the emergency. Humans are really dumb. After the first guy went and blistered his feet, what in the world were the other 29 people thinking who followed him!?! I wouldn't even walk across a hot sidewalk for fried chicken. What do you get when you cross Choopie with a chicken? A hen that lays pooched eggs.

Independance Day From Chip

The 4th of July is fast approaching. This is Snickers worse day of the entire year. He is noise sensitive and hates fireworks. Just the sound of the vacuum today made him hysterical. Please keep your dogs inside the house and in a safe enviornment during any firework demonstrations. Severe stress may cause shaking, trembling, drooling, howling, refusing food or even having accidents in the house. On a human note, last year about 10,000 were injured in the U.S. as a result of fireworks and 11 people died. Also, about 16% of injuries are caused by burns from sparklers, mostly to small children. Do your family and pets a big favor this year. Instead of going out and watching fireworks, order some of this awesome fireworks popcorn from popcornlovers.com. You'll still be able to OOH & AHH while eating the delicious display! Popcorn happens to be one of my all time favorite treats, so that is what we will be doing July 4th! Chip won't be invited to the popcorn party, she can go to the fireworks and sit right up front.

Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo...Are you OK?

What would you do if one day you came home from work and found your beloved pet drowned in a puddle? The right answer is not to sit down and cry or panic. Immediately start performing CPR. That is what happened to the Calhouns's who found their pet chicken Boo-Boo drowned in a puddle. Mouth to mouth resuscitation and CPR revived the dead chicken. Boo went on two live a few more months before it had another seizure and passed on. That is how he ended up in the puddle in the first place. There was no word on what the Calhouns had for dinner that night. Fortunately, Boo laid a few eggs before his demise and the owners incubated one of them. The egg hatched and Boo-Boo now has a legacy to take his place. The chick has black and white markings exactly like Boo Boo's. For all the dog lovers out there, you can take a pet CPR class for under $50. I don't think it works on cats though. Google pet CPR and see what classes might be offered in your home town. I'm signing Linda up right now.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Skeeter is a toy poodle from Chubbuck, Idaho (Say that city 3 times fast) Skeeter is a rare narcoleptic dog who falls asleep when he gets excited. When he gets his food, sees his humans or meets another dog, Skeeter collapses into a deep sleep. When he sees his leash and knows he gets to go on a walk, bam... out like a light. The family takes him anyway in a baby stroller. It's a good thing they love Skeeter because he needs to be hand fed in small bites to get nourishment. Narcoleptic dogs are rare, but they have been studied since the '70s. Standford even bred a colony of narcoleptic Dobermans. Hmmm, I wonder how they get them to mate? P.S. This is not Skeeter..... P.S.S That can't possibly be a regular size Chapstick, could it?

They are so cute when they are little

I think this 10 year old girl is my new hero. Tegan Hert from Omaha, Nebraska was out walking her little 4 pound chihuahua. (That's my size, so I can relate to this story.) Out of nowhere, a vicious pit bull came charging out of a yard and went for her precious pup. The girl jumped on the back of the pit bull and started beating its head with her fists to distract it from hurting the dog. Tegan's mom and neighbor came out and helped rescue both the puppy and the brave hero. How many adults would risk their lives to save their dog? One time when Sheba (now in Dog Heaven) was just 7 weeks old, a mean pit bull ripped through a screen door and ran across the street to attack Sheba. Linda picked her up high above her head and kicked the dog. It bit her in the butt, but luckily her jeans were loose and it only tore the material. Good thing Linda is a 3rd Degree Black belt and can kick some pit bull butt!! (or maybe it was just luck her butt isn't bigger.) About 5 million people get bitten by dogs just in the US . Most are children under 11 and the biggest culprit, you guessed it: it pit bulls. 75% of dogs that are shot by NY City police are PB's because of dog attacks. If you do have a PB, please be extra careful to assure others safety.

At Least She'll Save on Tissues

Awwww. Baby seals are just so adorable. They even bark like puppies. I bet if you saw one on the beach or ice you would want to pick it up and hug it. Well, a women named Elsie came upon a seal and thought it was in distress. She picked it up to put it back closer to the water......and....it bit her nose right off! Ouch, that had to hurt. Rescue workers found her nose but it could not be reattached. I guess her fate is sealed.

Get In My Belly.... Austin Powers

There are a lot of people who treat their dogs like human babies. I can totally understand that. If you do have a dog who has been your only "baby" and you are bringing home your new human baby, please remember to prepare Fido ahead of time. Fido is used to being the center of attention and now will be put out on the deck or tied up because you worry about possible dangerous situations. Here are some tips: Set up all the nursery furniture, walkers, etc. at least a month ahead of time. Get a baby doll and put it in the swing, crib and carry it around in a blanket. Let Fido sniff and get used to the smell. Play audio tapes of crying babies. This should get Fido used to the sounds, smells and feel of your new bundle of joy.When Mom has the baby, take the dolls blanket and wrap it around the newborn. Make sure the same blanket is around the baby when it comes home from the hospital. Obviously, it didn't work for this dog so my plan is not foolproof. Proceed with caution.

Big Dog...Little Dog

I'm little. Not as little as when I was little, but I am still pretty little. When I stand up on my back feet I can reach, well... I can't really reach anything. This Great Dane, Gibson... is the tallest dog in the world. He's more than seven feet tall when he's standing up and 238 pounds. He's even taller than Shaq, plus he can pick up a full-sized basketball in his mouth and make a basket at his driveway hoop. I'm a bit jealous, but Gibson can't ride in Linda's purse and go to fun places like I can.

This planet is obviously being used as an insane asylum by other planets.....George Bernard Shaw

People will sue each other, companies, employers and fast food restaurants, but I have never heard of a women suing because of dog poop. This is true, a women from New York has sued the Maritime Aquarium because her kid stepped in dog doo outside the parking garage. She claims the entire family outing was ruined and wants to be reimbursed for the cost of the Aquarium tickets, parking fees and a new pair of shoes for her kid. I'm at a lost for words and can't think of one witty comment about this story. Well, poop happens

Got Milk?

Chocolate is deadly for dogs, but I do love the smell of it. Every time there is anything chocolate open in the kitchen, I go crazy. It is a good thing I don't live near Interstate 80 in Illinois. A tractor trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos overturned, spilling all of the cookies into the road. All the boxes were ripped open and Oreos covered the roadway. That's a lot of cookies, but not in the scope of the Oreo world. There have been over 345 billion Oreos sold to date, if they were stacked on top of each other, the pile would reach the moon and back.... 5 times!! It is America's favorite cookie and we eat 20.5 million per day. A research company found the effects of eating chocolate on the heart rate and brain activity are more intense and longer lasting then the effects of kissing. Only 30 calories of dark chocolate a day can help lower your blood pressure. Unfortunately there are 140 calories in one double-stuff Oreo, so 30 calories is less then 1/4 of one cookie. Who eats just a nibble of cookie? Me Want Cookie!!!

Bad Mewd

Chip is so jealous of my new found stardom she is hissing mad. This was her reaction when she saw the website. Maybe I can send her photo into the webs crankiest cat photo. She has been out of sorts lately and this only set her off even more. Snickers is proud of me and truly happy that I have become a star. (I hope my head does not explode from all this attention. Linda is threatening to lock me in the kitchen if I don't chill.)

I'm Famous!!

I've finally arrived. Today I was chosen as the featured chihuahua on www.famouschihuahua.com. Me!! Little-Bitty Choopie. Hopefully, it will help me to be cast as the lead in Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 after Disney sees my photo. I better get shopping for a new wardrobe. Maybe I'll be featured on Dr. Phil as the most famous chihuahua of 2008. I'm besides myself with excitement right now. I've got to email everyone I know and love to tell them the news.

When Steroids Go Horribly Wrong

Guess what movie Linda saw tonight?

It's Not Easy Being Green

Linda just watched Bruce Banner transform into the Hulk. Bruce is nothing compared to Trichobatrachus robustus. This hairy frog breaks its own bones to produce claws that puncture their way out of the frogs toe pads when it is threatened. I bet that is here Marvel Comics got the idea for Wolverine. There is a bunch of scientific gobbledgook if you want to read about the frog newscientist.com. Next time I see a frog on one of my walks, I am running in the other direction.

Don't Make Me Angry, You Wouldn't Like Me If I Was Angry

Poor Wendy the Whippet. She has a genetic disorder which makes her look like the Incredible Hulk dog. I wonder if her human spray paints her green for Halloween? Linda just saw The Hulk and said his dog gets shot at the beginning of the movie. I hate that more than anything. At least let the dog live, OK? Too bad they didn't have Wendy as his dog. She would have ate that solider before he could aim his gun.

I Just Had to "Bring This Up"

Linda is so sick of TV that she is threatening to turn it off forever. So much TV is just regurgitated junk. She is ready to throw-up her hands and scream. Coming soon to network TV is a new show called "Hurl." No joke, this is an eating and upchucking show. Contestants eat, eat, eat... everything from pizza, cakes, ice cream, pot pies and then get strapped into spinning contraptions. Try to guess who wins? Yup, the person who vomits last. The constants get "bucket ratings" from one to five. They should eat 15 bananas , 2 Heads of broccoli, 9 bags of Cheetos , 6 bags of red licorices all topped off with 3 blue Slurpees. This way at least the results will be colorful! I wonder if the producers know that the 6th most common phobia in the world is emetophobia. That is the fear of vomiting or watching someone else vomit. People with the most extreme cases can actually will themselves not to vomit, even if they have food poisoning or the flu. Of course you body vomits as a survival mechanism, so one day those people are going to be dead from some e-coli disease because they refused to get sick. Chip should love the show because she daily leaves hair-ball presents all over the house for Linda to clean up. I bet your glad I chose this photo of a Spriro Gyro Orbitron Ride instead of the alternative.

Smarter than Dirt

This is straight off of MSN's news feed. Scientists have determined with concrete evidence that dogs are smarter than cats. A dog's problem-solving abilities are equivalent to a human 2-year olds. The average cat... sorry Chip.. it only operates with the cognitive capacity of an 18-month old. At 2 years of age Tierney knew all her ABC's; had memorized her favorite books, could count to 100; and was totally potty trained. I knewed I be smart.

Lunch Time; Nap Time

This isn't me, but I do try this sometimes. There is nothing better then becoming one with your food. I'm usually a little fussy. But when I am really hungry, I've been known to dive right in. I'm not sure what is going on with this fellow. Maybe he lives with a cat and has to guard his food bowl so Chip, I mean the cat he lives with, does not eat all his supper.

Party Time!!

When Tierney was little, about 8 or 9, she had a Siberian Hamster. Linda can't remember the name right now, probably Fluffy or Hammy. It was just adorable. Tier had this plastic ball that Hammy went inside and could roll itself all around the house. Pumpkin cat lived here at the time and it was great fun to watch them play together. She was in charge of feeding and changing the hamsters water (of course Linda cleaned he cage.) Everyday, Hammy kept getting a little fatter and fatter. Linda just thought it was pregnant when they bought her from the pet store, and we were soon going to have little Hammies. Unfortunately that was not the case. Tierney loved to watch it eat sunflower seeds and she fed it until it died of obesity. It literally ate itself to death. Hammy is buried in a box under a bush in the yard. It's probably a good thing that Linda feeds me or else I might explode too!

Family Time

I was just looking through some pictures of my humans. My family is so great, everyday I wake up and am thankful that I was adopted be such awesome people. Here are photos of my crew and some of their friends. Top left going clockwise: Tierney and Nick acting goofy, Tier and Taylor on the plane coming back from Africa; Dawn and Tierney all dolled up and Tier and Fitch after getting caught in a rain storm. If you noticed that Tierney is in every photo, its because whenever a camera is pointed somewhere, Tier always manages to be front and center. I can't wait for her to come home and choochoochoopie me!!

Don't Go There

I'm so bummed out. Linda did not take me to work today like I thought she would. She told me the loud music and people running everywhere would upset me. I did help her clean the house though, so I kind of worked with her anyway. She picks up all my toys to vacuum, then I pull them all back out. She gets to pick them up and put them in the toy box, and we do it all over again. I also help her spread the dirty socks all over the carpet when she is collecting the laundry. I know she appreciates that, because she chases me and picks those up too. Sometimes I wait until she is done scrubbing the kitchen floor and then I go number 2 on the peepee pad, but I always miss a little and she gets to do the floor again. Speaking of number 2.... It is good to find other dogs and dog owners blogging. Of course, I'm the best doggie blogger ever, but there are some funny sites out there. Please don't go to this one though. I loved the name, but then I started looking at the photos and I had to immediately stop. Yew!!! It is gross. The sites name is stuffmydogpoopedout and it is just photos people post of things they find in their dogs poo. Way too much information!!

TYDTWD

Whoa! I'm so excited because tomorrow is TYDTWD. For those who are not in the loop, it stands for Take Your Dog to Work Day. Since 1999, people have been taking their pooches to work with them. Tomorrow Linda teaches 3 classes at the gym, so I'll be Kickboxing, Body Pumping and doing Boot Camp classes. I hope no one steps on me since I b'so little. I've been warming up doing some laps in the hallway. I'm also doing plyometrics jumping on and off the couch. For weight training, my hedgehog toy is twice the size I am so I lug that all around building up my strength. I better carb load tonight so I have enough energy to finish all three classes. Unfortunately, I don't think my sneakers will arrive in time. Darn.

Rolling in the Dough

Linda is always looking for ways to make some extra money. I think we can rest assured that if she opens a bakery and starts making this kitty bread, we will be able to kill two birds with one stone. First, we can finally put all those extra cats to good use. Second, who could resist a PBJ on this tasty bread? We'll have more dough then we know what to do with! If she is successful, maybe we can do kitty slippers too!!

Jumping Frenchmen of Maine

Some people startle more easier then others. In fact, very small noises or something falling off a table can cause the person to jump, gasp, or even invoke a flight or fight response in the person. This curious disease was first discovered in Maine during the late 1800's in French-Canadian lumberjacks who would jump or flail their limbs when startled. But listen to this, people with this disorder have a hard time obeying orders from other people, especially if spoken in an authoritative manner. I think I knew someone who might have this syndrome, except they are not French nor do they live in Maine. I'm not sure about the lumberjack thing though. These are jumping French bulldogs, I couldn't find any in lumberjack costumes.

Oh No! Another PetDumb Problem

For the sake of pets everywhere, I hope this is the very last entry about PetDumb killing people, killing pets at their vet department, being horribly rude to customers, harming pets with their grooming department and just being a danger to all the furry/feathered creatures. This time a man died and his daughter is in a coma after being infected with a parrot sold at PetSmart. The case of the people dying from the diseased rodents is still in court. Beware!!!

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Supersquirrel!

Two cat collar posts in one day. Maybe I'm losing my mind because I'm paying way too much attention to the enemy. It's just that this cat collar sounds like big fun. The Purr Detector collar lights up with different colors whenever kitty purrs. The louder she purrs, the brighter the lights. You can also set it to blink when the cat is outside at night to prevent smushed kitties in the road. Someone should invent a collar that lights up at the very first Snickers poot so we can clear the room before the smell sets in. (I know this photo does not go with the post, but I love it and don't think I'll ever find a story about squirrels morphing into Superman.)

9-Lives

This may seem like a great invention, but I'm not happy about it. I just hope Linda doesn't read this post and get any crazy ideas about ordering one for Chip. One of my "issues" is that I am addicted to eating Chips 9-Lives Tuna or Friskees. I'll spend 15 minutes licking the bottom of the empty bowl just to get the taste of her food. There is something about her bowl though, if Linda adds a little cat food flavor to my bowl, I won't touch it. It just is better from the cats bowl. The new Collar Activated Pet Dish remains closed until a pet with the corresponding collar comes near (wearing a collar similar to those that activate pet doors). The pet dish recognizes the signal from the collar and opens. Just thinking about it gives me the jitters. Snickers will have to pin the cat to the wall and I will pull the collar off Chips neck so I can feed my fix.

Do You Want Whip With That?

I'm combining the posts on wild cats and poop. I'm feeling a bit "catty" right now, so bear with me. A new expensive coffee selling for $100 per cup is being brewed from a blend of rare Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and another bean...which is harvested from the poop of civet cats. It is in very high demand by coffee snobs. Only 440 pounds are made per year. I repeat, the coffee is made from beans that have passed through the bowel of an Indonesian jungle cat. It's full bodied and a little sweet with not bitter aftertaste. Imagine going into Starbucks and ordering a tall sugar-free vanilla cat-poo coffee. P.S. Don't worry, this is a photo of a chocolate covered banana.

Would you please pass the salt?

When will humans learn that wild animals are wild. That means that Chihuahuas belong in your lap eating dog cookies and lions belong in the jungle eating gazelles. When you put the Chihuahua in the Jungle, she becomes someones dinner. When you put the lion in a human environment, he eats someone for dinner. That magician man in Las Vegas was lunch for one of his lions a few years back. Recently, several fingers and intestines were all that was left of a gamekeeper in South African when he was eaten by six lions. The man was working in the cage when all of a sudden...poof! He was a happy meal for the lions. The really amazing part of this story, officials are trying to decide what punishment and/or actions will be taking against the lions. Let's see, maybe they should sit down with the lions and have a mediator decide what is the best course of action.

Dung Beetle

I love reading the news. Just when I think there isn't anything weirder out there, I come across another interesting story. A company is trying to make a cheaper, cleaner and renewable alternative to crude oil. By the year 2011, LS9 Inc. is hoping to build plants that will produce the Oil 2.0. So far the company is able to produce small amounts of the biofuel, enough to fill a beaker, but has yet to even produce even one barrel of the fuel a week. You are probably saying aloud "Choopie, this is not a weird story. Plenty of people are looking for alternative fuel sources." I agree and applaud them. Only this company is making oil from bug poop. You read it right, bug poop. There is a bunch of scientific gobblydegook in the article if you are interested in the process. Just google bug poop. I wonder who's job is it to collect the poo? Tierney is out looking for summer job, I'll let her know when she gets home.

Pawsitively Happy!

I'm still thinking about that Bozo mayor from Little Rock Who Let The Dogs Out of the shelter because they couldn't care for them. There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S. I don't know the percentage in loving homes, but even if 1 dog is abused and forgotten, it is very sad. Plus, dogs (and cats) consume over $11 billion worth of pet food a year. Please take your pets to be spayed or neutered. There are so many animals just hoping to be adopted. Go to the shelter today and open your heart and homes to the best friend you'll ever have. Make one of us happy and we will give you all the love in the world. (I know there are cats looking for homes too, so I guess if you are one of those "cat people" I've heard about, you can get a kitty. Or.. you can come to my house and I'll give you the cat that lives here.)

Advice to Worms: Sleep Late

I've not been eating much lately. I seem to go through phases where nothing tastes good. The only thing I seem to enjoy are dry Cheerios. You've all heard the saying "she eats like a bird". That describes me. Snickers and Chip are still chowing down like there is no tomorrow. Although really, saying I eat like a bird is not really accurate. Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day! That is a lot of worms. That would be like me eating 20 Whoppers with cheese a day (hold the onions.)

Yes, we have no bananas!

One million, four hundred and thirteen thousand bananas, thats how many $372,000 would buy at my corner grocery store. (I did the math myself!) That's a lot of bananas. Two suspicious, very nervous men were pulled over by the cops near the Costa Rica-Panama border. When police found all the money hidden in the car, the men said they were on their way to buy some bananas. I know bananas are good for you, but thats 706,500 bananas each. Maybe they have a pet monkey. Or maybe they were making banana pudding. I know, they probably lost their "appeal" with the ladies and were looking to get their mojo back. The police did not believe the men and took them to jail. I hope they didn't pee-l their pants I wonder if they will try to escape and split. Some horticulturists suspect that bananas were earth's first fruit. Fun fact: The first record dates back to India, where Alexander the Great found bananas in 327 B.C.

Bee Gees & Sting

I guess there is pluses and minus to having over 60,000 bees living inside your walls. In Concord, N.C., a couples 100 year old house has been home to the busy bees. What tipped the man off was the dark spot he found on his wall. He dipped his finger in it and tasted the goo (why do people do that? taste things that they have no clue what they are or even smell rotten food?) Back to the story. Sure enough, it was honey. He called in the pro's and they tore the walls down and collected the hives. All but 1,000 of the bees were removed safely to a new home. "Oh, oh, oh, oh Staying Alive, Staying Alive." None of the bees were killed and the remaining bees will leave and find another home because the queen bee is gone. Only 4 of the bees stung the keepers. The other 59,996 were good bees-Gee, I wonder if the they had to call the Police during the removal? The plus side is that they have enough honey to last them forever, the minus is that they have enough honey to last them forever.

BOYCOT LITTLE ROCK

I'm so mad right now I could spit. I feel like getting on a plane and flying to Arkansans right this second. The animal shelter in Little Rock is taking dogs into the forest and leaving them on
the side of the road because they are no longer able to care for them. Four of the dogs were so poorly cared for that they had to be put down. HELLO? Anybody in Little Rock might want to adopt a pet? We're not talking about thousands of dogs here folks. To make matters worse, the mayor made the decision to "free" the dogs as he called it. How can that man sleep at night? I almost can't finish typing this I'm so upset. Better start meditating and doing my deep breathing exercises before I do something I might regret later like provoking Chip cat.