Buzz Off!

What an adventure this morning! It was scary, fun, exciting and tiring all at the same time. I knew we were going for a walk because Linda "got her SHOES on." When she says the SHOES word, I know we are going outside. Little did I know, but she had a bigger plans for us then a normal walk. We went on a hike in the deep, deep woods. There were trails, water crossings, and winding paths through undergrowth. It was so much better then the sidewalk. First, we saw a huge black buzzard-looking bird with a reddish beak. It was a few feet off the trail in a field. The beady eyes were staring at me and I swear, it was licking it's lips. Linda picked me up quick and tucked me in her sweatshirt until we were well past it. Then, crossing one of the streams we saw a tall white heron. It was so beautiful and this time the bird did not want to eat me. Finally, near the end of the trail, there were two large girl-deer right off the path. We froze and so did they. Then slowly (no lie) one of the deer started making it's way towards me. She lowered her head close to the ground. Her eyes were so kind, she looked like she wanted to touch noses. We kept super still, I just had my ears up and stood like a statue. She was close enough to reach out and touch! Finally, she lost interest and moseyed off to her friend. So far so good, right? Wrong. When we got home, Linda realized she dropped the house key on the trail. It was over an hour walk, so we could not go back out looking for it. She is going to take her bike out after her class and see if she can find it. (Luckily we had an extra hidden in a secret spot.)

UPDATE: Jerry ran the trail twice looking for the lost key and still could not find it. Thanks Jerry for helping us look. From now on I am going to be in charge of the extra key since Linda can't be trusted.

Chip: Number 101

Linda used to have a friend named Steve. His goal in life was to only own 100 things. A fork is one thing. A pair of jeans is one thing. Laundry detergent, basket and iron: 3 things. Your couch: 1 thing. A pair of socks, one thing. Need a pencil, that's one of your things. He really wanted to pare his life down to only have 100 things at a time. You could not keep things in storage or at your friends or Mom's house. You just really had to get rid of everything except the 100 things you really needed. Buy something new and you get rid of one thing. The June 2008 issue of Time magazine even had an article on How to Live with 100 Things. Linda really, really would love to be able to live with only 100 things. She used to bring 2 or 3 contractor bags to the thrift store every Tuesday to clean out our house. Jerry used to go nuts when Linda talked about the 100 things. He said he would do it if he could have 100 issues of Superman; 100 issues of Conan; 100 Prince CD's; 100 Disney DVD's. She better not get back on the 100 things kick. I have at least 100 toys that I play with everyday! The minute I see the big box of contractor bags come out, I'm moving to Jerry's house.

Orville Choopenbacher

Last year I had a very close call when Linda fed me some steak. Not a whole t-bone, but just a few tablespoons but it made me very ill. I had to stay at the Vets to get an IV drip and medicine. Linda knew better then to give me chocolate, raisins, onions and grapes, but she thought steak was good for little dogs. It ended up being too rich for me to digest and I got sick. Now, vets are saying that it is OK to give us some more people food. On the A-OK list are things like cantaloupe, popcorn (This one is very good news indeed. I adore popcorn. As soon as I smell it start to pop, I do the happy Choopie dance), baby carrots, apples, and steamed veggies are all safe for our tummys. The limit is 10% of our daily calorie in people food. For a little tiny dog like me, that's probably only 4 popcorn kernels and one baby carrot!

Grandma, What Big Ears You Have...

There is a YouTube video popular right now of this cat giving a baby fox a bath. At first I thought it was cute and adorable. Chip would never take time out of her busy sleeping, sunning, eating, demanding attention, and annoying Choopie day to groom me. After I watched it a second time, I noticed that the cat has her paws around the foxes neck and is holding on really, really tight while it licks it ears. The third time, I noticed that the fox looks pretty annoyed. I think the cat has a death grip on the baby pup. Cats are just mean, but they always make the humans think they are sweet and would never do anything wrong. Chip has Tierney bamboozled, when in reality.. the evil cat terrorizes me all the time. Chip better not try this licking stunt with me. This fox has the exact same ears that I have, maybe we are sisters.

Slayer Dragon

Since yesterday was dedicated to Dragon Slayers, I thought today's post should be dedicated to Slayer Dragons. Komodo dragons are actually giant lizards that can weigh up to 150 pounds and grown 10 feet long! Some authorities say there are only 4,000 dragons left in the wild except attacks on people have increased, no decreased. A poor man fell out of an apple tree when he was picking fruit. Two dragons mauled him to death. An 8-year old boy was also killed a few years ago by KD's. A park ranger was sleeping in his bed when one of the KD's came in his bedroom and started chewing on him. There have been other attacks on humans reported in the last months. Besides a wicked bite, they have sharky kind of teeth and 50 different bacteria strains in their spit, so you can become infected and die from a single bite. There are no dragons in our country, only eastern Indonesian Islands. I don't think that is near my street.

Fire Breathing Chorkie

I took Jerry for a run today. He initially thought he was going to take me for a walk because Linda is still battling the end of her sickness. Instead, I made him run-run-run from bush to mailbox to tree to flower bed. He was pretty tired. I pretended I was pooped so he could carry me on the way home because he gets such joy out of putting me inside his sweatshirt while we walk. After, we all watched a Sci-Fi Dragon Slayer movie. Honestly, I guess I slept through most of it. Maybe I was a little tired too. Jerry is the Choopie Slayer. This dragon drawing in very funny.

A Real Shotgun Wedding

One of my blog readers is a guy named Josh. He thinks I am hilarious. (Sometimes, I even make myself laugh while I'm typing the stories.) Anyway, I'm friends with him on Facebook. While I was looking on his page, I saw this photo. Wouldn't it be the perfect shot for a "name the caption contest"? Josh, you are never going to corral yourself a pretty little bride if they find out how you really feel about getting married.

Help, I'm Blind!

Finally, I'm not the smallest one. This bitty-witty-baby clouded leopard cub was just born at the Smithsonian's Zoo Conservation Research Center in Front Royal, Va. last week. Full grown, the leopards are 2 - 31/2 feet long and weigh up to 50 pounds. They eat deer, birds, pigs, monkeys, fish, and porcupines (ow! that has to hurt), Luckily for me, Wiki does not mention that they eat Chorkies, so if one escapes the Front Royal center, I'll be safe. In the zoo, the cats also eat eggs and veggies. They don't live in our country in the wild. You have to go to southeast Asia and northeast India to see them. You better hurry though. The leopards might soon be extinct because their forests are disappearing and bad people are hunting them dead. This kitten is just so cute. If it came to live with us, I doubt that Chip would keep her "bully" status once Leopie grew a little and opened his eyes.

Have You Seen This Parrot?

What is this world coming to? Imagine chilling on your front porch, hanging out on your skateboard. The next minute your birdnapped! Poor Gordo. The 30 year old parrot has been a huge tourist attraction for years and years at San Gabriel Valley's Baldwin Park. I'm not sure there are many skateboarding parrots out there, so he should be pretty easy to spot. If you see a bird tooling around at your area shopping center, call the authorities. Fred Mireles misses his pet bird who has been like a son to him. Please help find his way home. His owner said that he does not like new people and will probably bite. My advise after the hawk attack I witnessed today, be very careful if you try to rescue him.

Killer

Finally... I got to take a long walk, and what an adventure it was. One cool thing and one horrible thing happened right before my eyes. First, the cool thing: I met a new dog to the neighborhood. He had the same little peanuts over his eyes like Snicker's did. By that and his coloring I knew he was part Doberman. The other part was all Pitt Bull. He was BIG. And his name is KILLER. Except he did not want to kill me at all. What a sweet new friend. Now for the un-cool thing. I did see a KILLER.. only it was a hawk. It came down in the yard next door and had a small black bird in it's talons. We chased it hoping to free the little bird, but the hawk took off with the bird in tow. Well, at least it wasn't me. (No, Tier is not a killer. It's just that I love this photo and felt like posting it.)

Ton-O-Cats

I live here with my human family and one cat named Chip. How in the world a dog could live with more then one cat is a mystery to me! New Jersey officials found over 100 cats and 1 dog living in filth inside a million-dollar home. Conditions were so horrible that rescuers had to wear masks to help them breath because the stench was so awful. There was not an inch of floor space not covered with #1 and #2. One room had 3 feet of #2 piled around the room. Twenty cats were taken to the vet and the rest will be removed to a shelter for adoption. The couple said they were not bed people, it just got to be too much for them to take care of and things got out of control. They pair were charged with 93 counts of improperly sheltering an animal. No word on how the dog fared. He probably was out of his mind with all the cats annoying him.

Hack, Hack, Hack

What a restless night. Linda coughed and blew her nose until 4 a.m. How can a dog get any sleep with all the noise? I feel sorry for her, but I was almost ready to go in the kitchen and sleep on my bed. Because my job is to protect and care for her, I stayed all night to keep her company while she tossed and turned. Her fever is gone and she is not achy, just tired. We still cleaned the house today since Friday is cleaning day. Hopefully tomorrow, I'll be back on track for my daily walks. It feels like I've put on a few ounces this week from lack of exercise. Now if Linda's coughing would just stop so we could get some sleep tonight.......

Pork-Chomp

How long does it take to eat 900 pounds of pork? I think after the first 40 or 50 pounds, you would be just "fed" up with it. A New Mexico family was awarded 900 pounds of meat when the boar that attacked a worker was slaughtered. On March 16th, a worker reached down into the Porkey's pen to grab a hose. The boar attacked the man, and nearly chommped off his arm. Doctor's were able to reattach his arm, but are waiting to see if it will work properly.

Above all, do no harm

Linda told me that the nurses at Sarah's work read my blog. Wow! I have some very professional people who follow my life. Some of Tierney's professors at college read my blog too. Maybe I better start posting some lofty, intellectual stories too hold their interest. This might be interesting to the nurses. There was a brain surgeon who was operating on a patient at a Naples Hospital. During the surgery, the surgeon had an angina attack while he was removing a giloblastoma tumor from a patient. He refused to stop operating, even though he had serious pain in his chest. He was in a delicate part of the surgery and did not feel like he could safely stop the surgery. After the surgery, the surgeon had tests that showed he was indeed having a heart attack. Immediately following the patients brain surgery, the Dr. had his own angioplasty operation to open the blocked artery. Both patient and surgeon are recovering.

Major League Heart Attack

"Five all beef patties, chili, salsa, chips, and cheese on an 8" sesame-seed bun." No, it's not a new Micky-D burger, it's an humongus new 4,800 calorie burger being offered at a baseball park in Grand Rapids, Mich. The burger weighs 4 pounds, (the same as me!) and cost $20 ($730 less then me!) If you eat in all by yourself, you get a special tee shirt. Better ask for a XXX-L because your gonna need the belly room.

Smooch... Smooch

Things are finally back to normal at our house. Linda's sickness is abating! She taught her 3 back-to-back classes this afternoon and is gearing up 2 more tonight. I thought for sure I would get a long walk today since she is better, but it is raining out and I hate! getting wet. The entire 3 days she was sick, I never left her side. My kisses and nuzzles kept her positive and feeling loved. Also, a big thank you to Jerry who came over on the worst night and bought her food and a changed the giant water bottle.

It's a Scary World

An 11-year old autistic boy climbed out onto a third-floor balcony at school and hung his legs over the side because he was scared on his first day. No amount of coaxing by the boys mom or teachers could get him off he ledge. Firefighters were called to help in the rescue One of the firemen heard that the boy loved superheros. He dashed back to the firehouse and put on his Spiderman costume and swung into action. The fireman told the boy that no monsters would get him and Spiderman was here to save him. Sometimes I have to be rescued from scary situations. I won't walk down the hall to Linda's bedroom by myself. Chip hides behind doors and pounces out to attack me. I sit on my bed in the kitchen and cry until Linda comes to carry me. I want this Spiderman dog toy.

Mama! Baby!

Last year on November 11, I posted about Willie the parrot who saved the life of a toddler by yelling out "Mama, Baby" when the little girl started to choke on her breakfast. The women who had stepped into the bathroom, came running when she heard the birds alarm and was able to save the baby from choking. On Friday, Willie the parrot was was given the Animal Lifesaver Award during the "Breakfast of Champions" event. I hope Willie got a life time supply of Saltines and a new perch as a reward. I always bark-bark-bark when someone comes to the door to alert Linda that we have company. One night, I kept barking on and off because I heard something on the deck. It must have been an animal trying to get in the trash. Where is my prize?

Stinky Job

Linda is better today. The aches are not as bad and headaches are less severe. I even enticed her to take me for a short walk outside. We are both back in bed resting. Yesterday, we were in bed for 20 hours! The weirdest thing is that her sense of smell is all wrong. Everything from coffee to daffodils smells like burnt wires to her. In fact, she tried to eat this morning and she said it tasted like burnt coffee. It's a good thing she does not have this job.

Paging Dr. Choopie

No posts today, Linda is the sickest I've ever seen her. It is taking all my energy and time just to make her feel better. She can't even get out of bed to feed me. I'm licking her face and laying on her chest so she knows she is loved. I won't leave her side for a minute. She needs a drink of water but can't make it down the hall.... poor Linda.

I'll have the Salad

This is a photo of Katie while she was in NYC. She is one of my Facebook friends. She is also a good friend of Tierney. I absolutely love the look on her face because that is exactly what Linda would do. It's hard to make out what the hanging piece of meat is. What's your guess?

Sunny Sunday

Yowsers! I was really bushed from all of yesterdays adventures. When Linda got up at 7 a.m., no amount of coaxing would get me to come out from under the covers. I was still so tired. Finally, she fed Chip cat and that got me stirring. I must have burned a lot of calories too because I was starving and ate almost a whole carton of Mighty Dog and my new dried buffalo kibble. After church, Linda went over to Sarah and Taylor's for lunch. It was the first time they had anyone over for a meal. Linda said it was all delicious. This is a photo of their new kitchen on move-in day. Taylor's new TV screen is about 9 times the size of our TV. You could see the tendons on the guys legs while they were playing soccer! When she got home, we sunned in the backyard awhile then took a short walk. Time for a nap.

Subaru, Part 8

Hopefully, this is the last entry about our broken down car. Linda went to pick it up from the dealer after it's last "blow-up." The dealership took care of all the labor charges, we just had to pay for the parts. The car does not idle like a truck anymore and there is no more white smoke pouring out of the hood. Think positive, nothing else could possibly go wrong! If it does, we'll buy this car.

Eat a hamburger already!

If we were out in the front yard and someone strolled by walking a big white poodle, we would probably take notice. If the person walking the dog was stark naked, we might think something strange was going on. A women in Mich. had that exact thing happen to her. The 14-yr. old boy, who was just wearing his birthday suit, attacked the women and stole her cell phone and ran away with the dog in tow. The boy was caught and charged in juvenile court. You don't see many poodles around, in fact... we did not see one at the show today. We did see a man at the show dressed in a Swiss yodeling costume set up in a living room with a bunch of Gray Hounds laying on the carpet. At first Linda thought they were dead stuffed dogs because they were so still and super skinny.

One Tired Pup

I'm so tired I can barely type, but I wanted to post this while it is fresh in my little pea-brain. Today was the most fun I've had in a long time. Jerry picked us up and we went to the Super Pet Expo. There were hundreds and hundreds of dogs and thousands of people all milling around this giant show. Check out the snack and food displays, all for dogs! I came nose to nose with a Great Dane who is 40 times bigger then me... and I growled just to show him who was boss. I got to run off the leash in a playground for little-bitty dogs. Even though I was the smallest, I still showed them all who was boss, until one of those Wiener dogs came in and scared me. I tried buffalo for the first time and it was so good. One vendor tried to sell Linda a chew treat that was supposed to be really healthy for dogs. When Jerry found out what it was made from, we just moved on. (The chew snacks were smoked bull-willies!) After the show, we went for a long hike at the wetlands preserve. I made it around the whole lake without being carried once! Now you know why I am exhausted. I'll sleep well tonight.

Watch out NYC

Well, the Subaru is back home. Linda picked it up today. There were no bloody noses or arguments, she was able to keep it all together. She did not even raise her voice. I'm proud of her because it has been nothing but broken engine parts and big repair bills. It was such a bad day for her yesterday. Five hard aerobic classes, stress from the car and one very sore knee. It ended up nice because Tierney came home really early and Jerry came over to watch Supernatural. He even sprang for Thai food. Tier left this morning for a weekend in NY with her girlfriends. I hope she brings me back a present. Tier is so pretty that some big-deal model agency will probably sign her up on the spot.

Piles and Piles of Money

When Taylor was living here, he would always lose (or misplace as he called it) his wallet. Sometimes he said Maria, the maid with the gold front tooth, took it. She was our maid for over 5 years and never stole a penny. He was just careless where he left it. Once when he was about 13, he was playing in the snow. The snow was so deep, that he was jumping off the deck into the fluffy banks. The next day, his wallet was again missing. We ended up finding it, spread around the back yard in the snow. Sheba dog recovered it in the backyard and chewed it up. The money was spread out everywhere in pieces on the snow. The rest of the money was spread out in piles of poo. At least it wasn't $400, like Kelly Davis lost. Her dog Augie took the cash off a dresser and ate it all up. So far, Augie has passed pieces of 3 $100 bills and 5 $20 bills. Kelly used the garden hose to wash off the money. She is piecing together the money as she finds it and hopes the government will accept it as currency. Augie also passed a whole $20 bill! Sheba looks evil, but she was really a sweet dogs. Those scary red eyes were really pale, pale blue.

This is Linda's Mad Face

Well..... it seems that Linda is not handling the Subaru fiasco as calmly as she thought. It is going to cost even more money to fix, even though it was running terribly when she picked it up right after the turbo was replaced. I'm just glad I was not with her when the service man gave her the news. She is getting ready to call "7 on your side" because we found out from message boards that these problems are rampant in the turbo model and Subaru is not taking responsibility. Consumer Reports said our year Forrester has the absolutely worst rating ever. A full black circle!! Also... "I would not recommend the 2009 Subaru Forester. After 3700 miles the car needed a new engine.." said one of the reports. Subaru... you are bad, sneaky and mean.

Subaru... part 6

There comes a time when all you can do is accept the inevitable and just go with the flow. I'm kind of a laid back dog (most of the time) and just try to roll with the punches. Just when I think Chip and I are friends, Wham! I get a swat for no reason at all. You expect people to act or treat you a certain way, then all of a sudden you are dissed on a whim. I've learned if you keep your expectations low, then you are not as disappointed when things don't go the way you imagined them to go. For instance, take Linda's Subaru. Those readers who have been keeping up with the ongoing Forrester issues know the ups and downs of the blown-up turbo charger. We just got the car back last week. This morning, white smoke came pouring out of the front car hood and the "check engine" light came back on. Linda did not even get upset this time. That's the thing with trials. When you get through something that initially seems like you won't be able to handle it, it makes you stronger and more resilient for the next challenge. Oh well, back to the Subaru dealer in the morning.

Kind of like 6 or 7D!

I missed the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua. My play-group went to a special showing of it, but Linda refused to be part of a doggie-play date at the movies. We'll have to rent it from Red Box now that it is out. In an attempt to get more people to actually go to the movies, a new company is testing out some pretty awesome seats. D-Box Technologies are trying out their new seats at two different theaters. The seats make it feel like you are really in the movie. You feel every explosion, breeze, jolt... you are totally immersed in the film. Imagine seeing Batman Begins in that theater! Whoa... you better be careful you don't get a full cup of soda pop spilled on your lap when the explosion happens.

Public Service Announcement

My weight has been creeping back up. I am supposed to be about 3.5 pounds and I weigh 5 pounds. Proportional, that is like being obese. A normal BMI for humans is 19-24. Top researchers know that people who are overfat, with a BMI from 30 to 35, lost about three years of life. Folks who were morbidly fat, with a BMI over 40, lost 10 years of their lifespan. That is about the same as if you smoke. Morbidly fat people are two-thirds more likely to die of heart attacks, strokes and 4 times more likely to die of diabetes, kidney or liver problems. To check your BMI, go to www.mayoclinic.com. Of course if you are a professional body builder, the BMI calculator does not work so good since muscle is so dense. If you have to squeeze into the seat at the movies or need a seat belt extender on a plane, you might want to eschew the drive-thru. If you are a little dog like I am, the BMI calculator really does not work either. When my navy pea coat won't button anymore, I know I need to cut back the treats and exercise more.

May the cat eat you and the devil eat your cat

I did not make that saying up. I was looking for some good Irish sayings to celebrate St. Patrick's day. Instead of the regular Erin go Bragh, I was looking for something a little different. I'm not sure what cats and devils have to do with the Irish. It does not sound like such a blessing to me, although it was under the Irish blessing columns. Linda went to a dinner the other night where someone made corned beef and cabbage in honor of St. Patrick's day. I'm told this is a traditional dish in America. In Ireland, people would commonly eat bacon and cabbage, not corned beef. Pork was way cheaper then beef, and that was what the regular people ate. Only the Hoity-Toity Nobel men would eat the corned beef. So there. Watch out for any scary looking cats giving you the evil eye today and celebrate with some bacon and cabbage stew.

Purrfect Home

I love where I live. The comfy couches; blankets and pillows are all wonderful. Laying on the carpet in the sun by the sliding glass door... divine. Snuggling under the covers in the big bed... the best ever. If I thought I had it good, a family in Germany built a 1,400 sq-meter park for their pet. It's completely fenced in so their pet can romp and play without being on a leash. How cool is that? Well, it turns out not so cool after all. The pet, which happens to be a full grown leopard (usually about 130 pounds) is being removed by authorities from it's perfect home. I'm sure the zoo that Leopie is being moved to will be way worse then the beautiful park he is currently living in. It's not legal to have wild pets in residential areas. I hope these UGG's are not real leopard skin. They were so popular when they came out, the web page said only one pair would be sent to each household. If you laid this boot on it's side, it would be a purrfect place for me to sleep. How warm and cuddly!

Choopie Frenzy: Drool of Cat Blood

The greatest TV station is Sci-Fi. The movies are so bad they are good. Aztec Rex; Bats: Human Harvest; Frankenfish (Jerry's favorite); Lost Treasure of the Grand Canon (we just watched that one Sunday night); Man Thing, Mega Shark; Sea Beast (oooh, that was scary); Sharks in Venice; Attack of the Sabretooth... I could go on and on. We have watched them all. Now after 16 years on the air, this June Sci-Fi will be no more. Yes, it's true. The network is changing the line up to include fantasy and "imagine-based entertainment." If by that they mean reality TV, I am going to be so mad I will go on a killing frenzy. What will Sunday afternoon be like without Bloodsuckers or Abominable?

Mr. Al Poe

If you are going to be trapped somewhere, what better place then in a dog food silo! A 49-year old maintenance worker was trapped up to his shoulders for 30 minutes today in dog food. He was working at Valley Feed/Pet's Barn silo when for some reason, he got stuck in the food. No word on whether it was wet or dry food. The man's name was not released either. Maybe it was Mr. Al Poe. Or Mr. Ken. L. Ration. I guess you could always find out who it was by the trail of dogs following him home from work. Fire fighters rescued him and no one was injured. Except maybe the mans ego, I'm sure he took a ribbing from his fellow workers.

That's the way the cookie crumbles

Poor Tierney, she is so distraught because her keyboard is not working very good on her laptop. Two letters and the backspace are not working. When she tried to get help online, the guy was from another country and barely typed English. I bet I could fix it. With just a little research, I found that if you unscrew the keyboard, then reinstall it... sometimes it works. Something tiny could be stuck in there, maybe some cookie crumbs from the thin mint Girl Scout cookies she was eating this afternoon. I hope she stops worrying, we'll get it fixed. Choopie Geek Squad to the rescue. If all else fails, just eat some more Thin Mints. Chocolate fixes everything.

Now where did I put that...?

Sometimes Linda forgets where she puts things. I watch her search and search for something she misplaced. She sometimes calls me Chip instead of Choopie. Now I can share with her why. A study from Virginia University found that metal powers peak at 22 yrs; and start to dwindle at 27 yrs. Reason, speed of thoughts and spatial visualization and puzzle-solving all decline in our late 20's. In people years, I'm almost 21. That means that I am at the peak of my smarty-ness. It's all downhill after this. I'll probably miss the pee-pee pad; eat cat food instead of dog food and forget where I hide my toys. Oh wait, I already do all these things. Maybe the rules are different for dogs.

Chalupa Who?

Yikes! I'm hiding under the couch (or in a coffee cup). This coming Saturday is the fifth annual Non-native Pet Amnesty day. This means that in Miami, you can turn your non-native pets over to the zoo without facing the usual fines or penalties for owning non-native pets. Oh no, this is horrible news. What if Linda reads this and turns me over to authorities? Since I am half Chihuahua, I am half Mexican... so I guess that means I am a non-native pet. I better take my sombrero photos off Facebook and off my blog just in case anyone has a grudge and turns me in. Maybe I should change my name from Chalupa to Daisy or Emma to be on the safe side.

I like this version of the iPhone

Today, Linda went with Jerry to the mall to get a new iPhone. His broke and the mac store just replaced it for free, no questions asked. That's pretty good service. When Linda's phone broke, Verizon just gave her the run around and treated her terribly. When they got back to our house, we all watched a movie. Jerry played with me a long time, then went home. Linda has a headache with sinus pain, so she soaked in the bath and is already in her PJ's resting. Today did not go as planned, but it was still fun. I ran and ran until I was pooped-out and panting. After this post, we are going to bed and it isn't even 9 p.m. yet.

Boss, It's Da Plane!!

Some puppies get tattoos so if they every get lost, the special tattoo will be able to tell authorities who the pooch belongs to. I don't have a tattoo, I have a special computer chip in my backside that has Linda's information on it. Although if someone found me, I doubt they would even try to look for my owner. I am so cute and irresistible that they would want to keep me for their own. Tattooing is kind of scary anyway, I'm glad I have a chip. (not the cat kind of Chip.) Speaking of tattoos, there is now a tattoo artist in London that uses a tiny-teeny needle to tattoo a design in the white part of your eyeball. (Your referring to humans, not dogs. Dogs are way too smart to fall for that trend!) Only one state has outlawed eyeball tattoos so far and that is Oklahoma. Funny that no other states have jumped on the band wagon. Maybe they think their constituents are not dumb enough to want their eyeball tattooed. This girl seemed to think getting the inside of her lip tattooed was a cool idea. In my opinion, it should have said "stupid" instead of "lovely".

Will you be walking the streets of gold?

Both of my parties, today's brunch and tomorrows get-together were both canceled. Linda told me the reason that they were canceled was because of two unrelated deaths. The Monday night shin-dig was a jewelry party being hosted by a girl from Linda's church. The person she lived with died unexpectedly and went to heaven to be with Jesus. I never met John, but Linda said he was a wonderful husband, father and grandfather who was a very faithful Christian. The brunch today was also to be a jewelry party. The women who was to show the jewelry lost her brother in a terrible car crash on Saturday night. I bet no amount of jewelry, no matter how shiny or blingie, would even compare to the brilliance that John is enjoying right now walking on the streets of gold!

Vampire Monkey

I'm sure you have all read about the vampire skeleton that was found in Rome. An archaeological dig near Venice discovered the bones of a 16th century women with a brick stuck between her jaws. Back in the day, people believed that vampires roamed the streets and attacked people to suck their blood. I'm not sure why they would stick a brick in the vampires mouth. Maybe they thought that if it came back to life it could not bite you as long as the brick was stuck in their jaw. Hey, wait! I think I have a good idea to keep Chip from attacking me. I'll just get Linda to stick a small brick in her mouth when she leaves for work.

Chipzilla

Chip terrorized me tonight while Linda was meeting-up with her friends. She trapped me downstairs by sitting on the step landing. I could not go up to eat, drink or use my pee-pee pad.
When Linda got home, I was barking my head off. I still have to be chaperoned to go down the hall or upstairs or into the kitchen because Chip will jump out and pretend-attack me. Doesn't
she just look terrifying? I won't have to stay home alone on Sunday though. Tomorrow, I get to go to a brunch with her. I'm excited, but nervous since being around new people is hard sometimes. If it gets really scary, I'll just sleep in my purse.

Maybe he was looking for change?

No joke, one time Chip caught a mouse and bought it into the living room. She stashed the live mouse under the chair cushion where she sleeps and then proceeded to lay on top of the cushion. Tier was on the couch doing homework and kept hearing all this scratching noise, but thought it was just Chip scratching the chair. All off a sudden, the mouse escaped and went scurrying away. Chip, being the vicious lioness she is, pounced on the mouse then the mouse was no more. This couple also had a mysterious noise coming from their couch cushions. They bought a couch at a local thrift store and put it in the TV room. That is when the strange noises started. They searched for days and could not find the noise. One night, the man was on the new couch watching TV and felt something move inside the couch. A starving calico cat was living inside the couch. It had crawled through a small hole in the fabric. She called the thrift store to see if there was any information on who donated the couch, but reached a dead end. Finally, after contacting the press, a man came forward and claimed the cat. He donated the sofa to the thrift store. When he got home, he discovered his cat had run away. Yeah! Happy ending. Both the 9-year old cat Callie and his owner were reunited.

Home of the Buster Bar

Dairy Queen is not Burger Kings wife, she is not even a real person. DQ is the name of an ice cream store. Tier and Taylor used to go there and get "Buster Bars" for a treat when they were little. No joke, Linda said growing up she had a Dairy Queen in her home town that looked exactly like this photo. She must be really old. One of the DQ workers in Washington got a little confused (so she said) and accidentally (on purpose) poured Ajax cleaning powder into the malt machine. Two customers got very sick and suffered burning tongues. The worker has been charged with 2 counts of first-degree assault. One sick man had to stay in the hospital for 2 whole days. Police confiscated the surveillance video which should the lady pouring the cleaner into the machine. She said that she confused the malt mix with the Ajax and did not mean to hurt anyone. Hmmmm.... I know sometimes I get confused (on purpose) and eat all the cat food instead of my own (so I tell Linda). Maybe I can understand how she might be mixed-up.

Seek and You Shall Find.....

Linda's missing notebook has been found! Thank you Tierney!! On Sunday, Linda lost her bible notebook. She writes all her notes from service in the front half, but she also uses the back half to balance her checkbook, write phone numbers, to-do lists and recipes. When it went missing, Linda back-tracked to all the places she went and no one turned it in. Even though she was sad she lost it, she still felt at peace that someone would eventually return it to her since her name was in it. Low and behold, today Tierney found the book.... in her room hiding in a big pile of school books. How in the world it got out of Linda's purse and onto her floor mixed with old text books, we will never know! This is a photo of the real notebook.

ENurf already, part 2

Back on Feb. 26, I posted about a high school science teacher who shot a Nerf dart at an unruly student since she would not listen. The dart hit the girl in the shoulder. The girl came up and slapped the teacher in the face. The teacher was placed on leave while the incident was investigate. Now, the teacher has resigned from the school because the mother was pursuing assault charges against the teacher! Now I'm just a dumb dog, but even I know that is just ridiculous. If Tierney or Taylor's science teacher did that, I'm sure that would be their favorite teacher ever. Joking around with a Nerf dart gun is just funny. Slapping someone across the face, not so funny. Why in the world did the teacher not counter file assault charges?