The news keeps getting weirder and weirder. UFO's, Yetis, life on other planets, monkeypigs and now another sighting of Bigfoot. This time a mom and daughter were picking berries in northwestern Ontario when a giant 8 foot tall black hairy human-ish beast came near their pickup truck. It spotted them and ran into the forest. Later, a large 6 toed footprint was found in the area. The pair were so frightened they left their berries and sped away in their truck. I would have at least taken the berries.
A rare photo of the Black Ninja Assassin Sect - last located in down town Tokyo but who have recently disappeared, leading Intelligence to believe that a full scale cat attack is imminent. Look at the pitiless eyes, the cold killer stares and admit to yourself there is reason to worry. Sends chills down my spine.
Two Chihuahua dogs were the cause of a very unfortunate accident on a nude beach in Oregon this week. A man was rafting with his kids when he came upon the nude beach. His dogs jumped out of the raft and ran up to a 74 year old man. The old timer got out a collapsible baton and started hitting the dogs. Of course the owner got involved and the crazy old man ended up beating him with the baton. The Chihuahua beater is now in jail, no word if he is still nude or in a prison jumpsuit. A 10-102 is police code for cruelty to animals. A 314 is indecent exposure. A CIJ is a cat in jail.
Since 1832, the Yeti has eluded capture by its cunning and sneaky nature. Footprints have been discovered and there have even been sightings for over 175 years. This past week, scientists from Oxford Brookes University have been studying 2 strands of hair that were found in the mountains of north-east India. The strands are almost 2 inches long and can not be connected to any known species. My hair is almost 2 inches long too, and my breed is quite rare: the little known Chorkie (Half Chihuahua and half Yorkie =Chorkie). If a scientist found a strand of my hair, I'm sure there would be a lot of speculation that a strange and weird creature is roaming the streets of Virginia.
More stupid human tricks: Ladies, if you have an extra $180 in your purse, why don't you go get a facial at Shizhuka Salon in NY City. They claim your skin will be lightened, brightened and sun damage reversed by this innovated facial. The treatment uses nightingale poop as the main ingredient in their facial, which women say smells "musky." While you are in NY, head over to 5th Avenue and plunk down your $600 so leeches can suck your blood for a "detox" treatment. No spa day is compete without a pedicure. Spend one hour (and $180) with your feet in a pan of water containing live fishies. They will nibble all the dead skin from your feet. A full day of relaxation and beauty treatments for just under $1,000. If you are live in West Virginia, just go out to the creek in the woods and you could do it all for free!!
I have never heard of bears traveling in packs, but I guess no one told them that it's not normal. At least 30 of crazed hungry bears have been searching for food and terrorizing a group of men at a mining compound in Russia. Two of the men became bear chow and now the other men won't go to work. (Do you blame them?) The Kamchatka brown bear is one of the world's largest, with boy bears reaching 10 feet and weighing up to 1,540 pounds. They can also run up to 30 mph despite their bulk. A California women just had 10 hours of surgery after a bear attacked her near Sequoia National Forest. The cops are checking the womens clothes for DNA so they can find the bear who did it and not kill the wrong one. In Russia, they are just shooting all the bears and not bothering finding out who the guilty bears are. That is why I like living in the USA. Even animals get a fair trial. I couldn't find a photo of a pack of bears so I'm using a photo of a pack of bear cookies. Yum.
Be very, very careful what you leave around the house. Dogs are very curious and we will swallow anything that is within reach. Juliette Piesly had to change the battery in her electronic key fob. After she put her new battery in, the car would still not start. She called a mechanic who figured out that the immobiliser chip was not in the fob so the battery could not be activated. Suddenly, Juliette remembered her dog George lurking near her feet when she was dismantling the key fob. They put George in the front seat and Vrooom!, the car started right up. The dog had eaten the immobiliser chip. Juliette has to take the dog everywhere with her until the chip works its way out. Yikes, I'm sure she is not looking forward to trying to find it.
Picture the wind blowing gently in the garden. A monk is meditating and smells the sweet garden blossoms. Everything is perfect, the only thing missing is a cup of tea. But oh no, the branches are too high and the mountain too steep. His monkey senses his thoughts. Knowing his master wants tea, he climbs high up into the trees and brings him back some wonderful tea leaves. The tea is so delicious, others train their monkeys to pick the delicate tea leaves.
I totally don't know if that story is true or not, but it sounds like that is the way it might have happened. These days the practice of monkeys picking tea has all but died out. EXCEPT, one small village still continues this tradition. You can order your own bag of rare tea It is full of antioxidants, will calm you and temper your spirit. Best of all, the tea claims it will put you in divine touch with your monkey ancestors. The 2 oz bag costs 19.99 which seems like an incredible deal for stupid humans. P.S. No monkeys were harmed in the picking of this tea.
While you are drinking your tea, you can wear the tea shirt that proves to the world that you are a chump, I mean chimp.
This looks so much like me if Linda took me for a haircut. My hair is a little wiry and out of control right now. Kind of like living a bad hair day your whole life. When I b-little, my hair was short like this, but now that I'm all growed up, I'm super furry. Tomorrow, there is a charity dog grooming promotion at our local groomers. All the money goes to the fire department, so if she gets out of work early enough, I might get to go. I'll post before and after photos of my makeover. Speaking of makeovers, Linda received gift certificate for a deluxe facial today. Her skin looks baby bottom soft and dewy. It's only fair I get one too!!
