Brusing and Chicken Poop

People have been stopping Linda at the gym to ask her how she got so many bruises.  It is ridiculous the amount of bruises she has right now and 99.9% of them are mysterious.  The biggest and most purple bruise is on her hip.  She can't show you that one since it wouldn't be modest.  There are other big ones on her quads, shins and arms.  All three of these pictures were taken seconds apart, but it looks like she is pasty white in two shots and vacation tan in the other.  Its just because the flash didn't go off in the third shot.

The one bruise she is aware of hasn't really started to turn color yet.  She smashed her hand in the folding door in the hallway earlier this afternoon.  Ow.. that is going to leave a mark.  The other bruises must be from teaching classes, but she doesn't remember hurting herself.  (Either that or she is sleep walking during the night and running into things.)  Maybe all the vigorous cleaning she has been doing is the culprit.  They better be gone by next Saturday.  She has a pretty sundress she wants to wear to an outside wedding.  If they are still purple-yellow, she is going to go buy that tattoo cover makeup. 

Today's lunch was the very best yet.  I know... Linda has said every meal lately has been the best.  This one really is.  Even her vegetable hating friends would love it.

Just kidding.  That's gross rare roast beef.  She would have to be close to starved dead to eat this.

So amazing! And under 300 calories for the whole thing.

It's a take-off on her regular meal the last few weeks, only way better.  She splurged and decided to go all out. She likes making things that don't require too many dishes and a bunch of clean-up.  This took one pot, one skillet and a baking tray along with silverware, stirrers, plates and a spatula.  Our microwave is broken and a new one isn't in the budget, so she has to do all her cooking the old fashioned way. The base is (surprise!) a giant Portobella mushroom. She topped it with white organic quinoa, sauteed fresh spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, Trader Joe's meatless meatballs, cubed cherry tomatoes and feta cheese.  There were other seasonings and she used Trader Joe's sesame soy ginger vinaigrette to roast the mushroom. 

That reminded her about a mushroom story.  Apparently everyone in the world knew this but Linda.

 Yesterday, she was shopping for more fresh veggies.  While she was loading her cart full of goodness, a perfectly pleasant man (and he might or might not have been handsome, she really didn't notice...)  was chatting to Linda about the healthy stuff in her cart.  He was a vegetarian, plus gluten-free.  As she was putting her stuff on the belt to pay, he followed her.  Then he looks surprised and goes "Oh you really want to put those mushroom caps back.  Those are not vegetarian." Linda's like..."Um.. I think they are, they don't have a mother."  Oh NO they are not!" says the handsome guy, "they are grown in chicken poop (only he didn't say poop) so technically they are not vegetarian."   Of course Linda googled "are mushrooms grown in chicken poop" and its true. 

At least its free range chicken poop lip balm

She doesn't care enough to stop eating them though.  She's been told not to eat yogurt because of bug shells and horses-hooves in it. She doesn't listen though. Linda is laid back about that kind of stuff now.  At one time in her life she was so hard core about her eating habits it almost made her have an ulcer.  Worrying about what she was eating or if it was healthy actually made her so stressed it had the opposite effect than she wanted. 

p.s.  She knows of at least 3 people who will tell her she is bruising because of not eating meat.  Linda eats a lot of spinach, black beans, nuts, artichokes and squash, all of which have iron.  For Linda's age, she only needs 8 grams of iron day which she is totally getting.