Sunday, August 31, 2008
There is more than one way to skin a cat(fish)
are living in harmony together. I would give up my pink furry snuggle bed to see Chip inside one of these fish bowls. I would pick piranhas to live around her.
Storsjoe
Storsjoe, otherwise known as Loch Ness or Nessie, is Sweden's very own lake monster. Since 1635 there has been hundreds of eye witnesses who have encountered the beast at a lake in central Sweden. A group of different associations decided to ban together and invest more then $60,000 of their money to install underwater cameras to see if they can catch a glimpse of Joe. They employee a 24 hour/7 days a week person to view the recorded footage. On Thursday at 12:21 p.m. they hit the jack pot. Go to www.storsjoodjuret.nu and watch the underwater footage of the swimming Storsjoe. So far this year there has been Big Foot, Chupacabra and now even a Storsjoe sighting. It's all happening now because the world as we know it is going to end in 2012 according to the Mayan calendar. I'm not worried though, I'll be safe with Linda.
All-American Arm Slam
Eating out is big fun. Sometimes Linda takes me out to breakfast at the Bagel Cafe. We sit outside and she reads me the comics. I love Red & Rover and Pearls Before Swine best. We can't go to IHOP or Denny's because they don't allow dogs (even as adorable as I am) inside. It's probably a good idea because over the past 1o years there has been an increase in scary situations & violence at Denny's restaurants. Mr. Denny (it used to be Denny's Donuts when it first opened) has been plagued with bad publicity of fatal shootings & beatings outside their restaurants. In 2006 over a one week span, three shootings occurred at three different Denny's locations across Southern California. There is also the racial discrimination issues that Denny's was charged with. It looks like they will be getting more unwanted publicity. On a recently evening in Modesto, a 33-year old man tried to saw his arm off with a butter knife... right inside the busy restaurant where everyone was eating dinner! People probably thought it was a prank and the guy had poured ketchup all over his arm and table and was just pretending to saw his arm off. By the time the police arrived to stop the man, there already was a huge mess. Police had to tazer the guy to get him to stop. You watch, he'll probably sue Denny's and the cops.
Paws Laws
Laws are good and protect our communities. Even I have to obey the law. Yesterday my new dog-tag bill came in the mail. It costs $10 a year and I get a new shinny medal. If I ever get lost, a number on the tag matches your address. Unfortunately, I can't wear a dog collar with any bling on it because my neck is so little and the tags would drag on the ground. Plus I have a little problem breathing and I don't like things around my neck. The little computer chip inside my leg will also tell people where home is. Some other laws about dogs are not so good. In Lima, families are prohibited from having more then 2 dogs. If you get caught with any more, the dog police will fine the owner $237 and possibly take the pooch away. Families are considering moving out of the area because they won't give up their beloved pets. The silliest part, you can own 400 cats without any restrictions at all. Whoever made the law must have be a cat-lover.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Carpet Sharks
Whew! I just got back from an exciting outing with Linda. The new Pet (Dumb) Smart opened today. There was a big party with clowns, a radio station remote, free stuff and something very scary... a pen full of ferrets. They kind of look like skinny, squashed cats but make different sounds. I did not like them AT ALL. (Especially since they are called carpet sharks.) There were probably 50 dogs in the store while I was there. Since I was in my front-pack carrier I was higher up then all the other dogs. Once, every dog in there started barking and I had to hid down at the bottom of the pouch. I did touch noses with another Chihuahua and some kind of curly haired little dog, but the giant pit bulls and mastiffs scared me silly. At the check out, the boy gave me a dog cookie since I was a good girl. Every time I go out somewhere I am sooo tired when I get home. All the excitement wears me right out.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Dr. Drill...Stat!
You go to Home Depot to buy hardware, paint and even a lawn mower. An eminent British neuro-surgeon decided to visit his local hardware store and buy a Bosch 9.6 volt battery operated hand tool to perform complex brain operations at a clinic in Ukraine. Dr. Marsh uses the drill to open the skulls of patients to remove life-threatening tumors. Sometimes the battery even goes flat 1/2 way through. There is a shortage of fully trained anesthesiologists so Marsh’s patients are given only a local anesthetic and are fully awake during the surgery. The Doc likes it that way so he can talk to his patients during the surgery to be sure he is not causing him permanent damage. People in the Ukraine are very "tough" and can withstand the drilling. I'm impressed because I need a sedative when I get my nails cut or ears cleaned at the vet.
Ants In His Pants
Chuluota, Florida: I wish we lived in Chuluota. Then I could say I was Chalupa from Chuluota. It may have a cool name, but walking your dog can be deadly. Robert Cuningham was killed dead after stepping on a fire-ant hill during his daily dog walk excursion. Yikes, I can't even imagine dying of ant bites. We are going to be extra careful on our walks. There are so many dangerous things like fast cars, wild cats, big hawks, loose dogs and now I have to worry about fire-ants. Some places must have ice-cream ants because this is actually a name of a horror movie that has won tons of awards.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Fly The Friendly Skies
It really is important to pay attention at the airport. If you make a mistake and go to the wrong gate you might end up in Trenton instead of Orlando. You also need to put a name tag on all your baggage so it won't get lost. In Sweden, an elderly woman misunderstood the instructions while she was checking in. Instead of placing her luggage on the belt, the 78 year old women laid down on the unmanned baggage belt and was whisked down the baggage shoot. She made her way down to the baggage handling center where the crew pulled her to safety. The cool thing is that the old women actually made her flight in time. Also, you really should not check your baby, it's best to have it as a carry-on.
Cloud Cat
Weirder and weirder... what is this world coming to? Just the other day I wrote about glow-in-the-dark cats and today, I find a tabby that has sprouted fur covered wings. The cats owner, Feng, says that her kitty grew wings from the stress of having too many tom cats wanting to mate with her during a hot-weather spell. I wonder if Chip will grow wings (and fly away hopefully) because of Big Gray who is outside the window wanting to get jiggy with her. There really is a Cloud Cat as you can see from the above right photo.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Glow Kitty Glow
I'm laughing my tail off. South Korean scientists have messed with cloned cat embryos and bred glow in the dark cats. It would be worth having a cat if you could watch it run around glowing in the dark house. The scientists say there is a purpose behind the experiment, but I don't even care what it is. Yeah! Glow in the Dark Cats. What's next, invisible cats? Now that's a great idea.
Geflite Fish & Matzo Balls, er... Yum?
Some dogs have all the luck, especially when their humans have big bucks. "Elvis" is such a special dog that his owner David Best threw the dog a $10,000 BarkMitzvah. One hundred guests attended the the party including Dr. Ruth. I guess Dr. Ruth is his vet. (I think you need one when you have a Bark Mitzvah.) I'm not sure who the Rabbi was, but I know this cat is popular in the Bark circuit. My birthday is in October, the same month as Linda's. We are going to have a party together and celebrate with lot's of good cookie-treats and no vet visits.
Two Heads Are Better Then One
A baby born in Bangladesh created a near riot on Monday. Little Kiron was 12 lbs, 1 oz which is unusual in itself, but what caused the frenzy was that he has two full heads on one little body. 150,000 people mobbed the hospital to catch a glimpse of the infant, causing the police to provide round the clock protection for both mom and baby. Kiron has one stomach and is eating well with both mouths. I'm not going to post a photo to protect his privacy. Just picture an adorable little bundle of joy with 2 heads. It's like having twins with less work. I bet Oprah is already trying to book Kiron and his Mom.
P.S. UPDATE: Poor Kiron died when his parents took him home from the hospital. I am so sad.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Float Like a Butterfly
Half-Baked
There are crazy people and then there are CRAZY people. I think Andrew Stewart qualifies as the capital C kind. Mr. Stewart has 3 daughters but has always wanted a son. One day his Mom gave him a potato that resembled a little boy. In fact, it looked a little like his nephew. Mr. Crazy-Man thought his prayers had been answered and named his new son "Spuddy". The 46-year-old said: “He is only tiny but you can see a little face and even got the hair which looks like it is blowing in the wind." Spuddy is now a member of the family, that is until he shrivels up and goes rotten (or Mrs. Stewart fries him up for dinner.)
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Three Bears vrs. Pawlee
Free Willy
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) want to buy a Sea World, possible the one in San Diego. Their goal is to free all the animals and replace them with a virtual reality exhibit. I'm all for animal rights and believe that no animal should be caged and forced to perform, but how in the world are those sea lions going to take care of themselves. One second in the ocean and they will be shark dinner. If you have been hand fed buckets of fish everyday your entire life, how in the sea are you going to make it Born-Free? I guess Elsa the lioness did it, so Free Willy will too.
Crisis Averted
Finally, a carpet accident that is not my fault. (or Chips or Snickers) Linda was having a little "Fiesta de Mexicano" tonight and an entire bowl of salsa was spilled all over the white carpet. It was the chunky salsa too! She has had so much practice with pet accidents, including Snickers huge number 2 blow out a few times in one month, that she literally laughed. Thank goodness for the super-duper-extra-strong-handy-dandy carpet cleaner she splurged on. It did the trick in no time flat. Now lets whack the pinata!
Crikes!
Exciting times on our street today. When Linda drove home from work today, there was reptile/snake removal service truck next door. No kidding, there were a bunch of guys dressed like Dundee in the driveway all looking towards the garage. I hope they catch what ever is in there because sometimes I sun myself on the deck. If it is a huge escaped Boa, I might be lunch. Rocky the Ball Python used to live here, but he moved before I came to the family. In another report today, the Telegraph Newspaper report that emergency workers had a tense 30-minute stand-off with what they thought was an escaped pet alligator. It was lying in the garden with a dead bird in it's jaws. The chief, Richard Masling finally was brave enough to approach only to find out that it was a big stuffed alligator toy with a toy bird in the jaws. I'm sure the joker who placed it there was watching the whole time laughing his head off. I love this Ken doll wrestling the alligator.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I Thought Only Cats Had 9 Lives?
Holy Chicken Head!
This story is all over the Internet and I don't know how in the world I missed it. Right on the tail of the headless dog story comes the case of the headless rooster. This is true, not Weekly World News true, but MSNBC true. A farmer in Colorado decided to have chicken for dinner. Outside he goes to the barn to get a chicken for dinner. Whack! off goes the chickens head. Only.... the headless wonder ran away and made it's way back to the barn where he lived another 18 MONTHS! Rooster Mike has been a celebrity with a web site, magazine articles, festivals. He survived because the blade missed the jugular vein and a clot formed to prevent him from bleeding to death. Mike was fed and watered by inserting an eyedropper directly into his gullet. Poor Mike finally died in a hotel room. (Which is about as strange as a rooster living for 18 months without a head.) I guess he was meeting a hen for some hanky-panky and his old heart could not take it.
Hamsters, Beware of the Dong!
Linda would love to visit Vietnam. I'm not going with her, no way.... no how. Not since the Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development's Animal Health Department said that hamsters are illegal. I know I'm not a hamster, but I am small and furry and could be mistaken for one on dark night. In Vietnam, the law is you can't own, buy or take a hamster out to dinner. They say hamsters are dirty, make you sick and spread disease. Anyone caught with a hamster will be fined 30m dong. I haven't a clue what a dong is. The only dong I know is the Ding-Dong's that Linda used to have in her lunch in 2nd grade.
An "A-Lure-ing" Story
Tierney told me that Goldfish only have a 30-second memory. She had a bunch of fish once, Purdy & Pongo were two of her favorites. A guy named William decided his fish need some decoration so he pierced his fish's lip and put a gold ring in it. The fish seemed unaffected. He ate normally, and the piercing did not weigh him down. That's good because he might have drowned. The fish eventually died, but it had nothing to do with his piercing. William let the water temperature get too warm and Fish-Lip croaked. When his friends gave him grief about the lip ring, Bill said that fisherman use lures and hooks all the time. I'm not sure I understand his analogy, but to each his own. This isn't the fish, it's a photo that Taylor took in the aquarium this weekend.
Sticks and Stones....
A five-star hotel restaurant in England decide to weigh kids to see how much they should charge for the buffet meal. If the kid weighs 5 stone he pays 5 lira; if he weighs 10 stone then he pays 10 lira. I'm confused. Who sets the size of the stone? And what the heck is a lira? It sounds like some kind of bug. Anyway, people are really upset about the new pricing policy saying it will ruin the chubby kid's self esteem. (I guess it's really just the parents of the 10 stone kids who are upset.) When confronted, spokesmen for the hotel said something like this: "It's just in fun and the complainers should shut-up and get a life." Linda read this story too and told me about a place in Philadelphia that had a huge lunch buffet. There was a giant old fashioned scale at the hostess stand. You had your choice of weighing and paying per pound of body weight or a set price for the lunch spread. It's really a great idea. At 5 pounds, I could eat until I was stuffed for just a few pennies.
Katzen-Garnitur
Saudi Arabia has banned the sale of cats and dogs in Riyadh, the country's capital. The police are prohibiting not only selling cats and dogs, but also walking them in public. Why? Well, it seems that men are using the pet walking as an excuse to try and get "friendly" with women walking their pets. I haven't seen very many cats being walked in my neighborhood. Although before I was born, Tierney's orange cat Pumpkin used to go walking in the woods with them. She did not even need a leash, she just followed along. I would welcome Chip on our walks if she would wear one of these cat harnesses. It would be fun to watch Linda drag her along. They probably don't make them large enough for her though. (I have no idea what the heading means, I hope it's not a bad word.)
Mr. Potato Head & Cheesus
Rick Brown will probably be selling his "M I C, K E Y..... M O U S E" potato head on EBay any day now. I think Disney should give the guy lifetime park tickets for the spud. They could shellac it and put it on display in the Epcot ride where they grow vegetables in all sorts of weird ways. Not to be outdone, Steve Cragg is the youth pastor at his church in Houston. He was eating a bag of Cheetos when he came across a very special Cheeto shaped like Jesus. He was very quick to point out that he does not believe in Jesus appearing in screen doors or wheat toast, but he did get a chuckle out of it. "God's creation is full of signs and things that can and do remind us of him" said Steve.
Old Married Couple
Taylor and Sarah came over to visit last night. They just got back from their 1-year anniversary weekend. Linda was so happy because Sarah gave her a bunch of photos of their trip. They went to the aquarium; an Orioles game; a 3-D movie; fishing & golfing. I was happy at first to see them both, but Taylor loves to lift me HIGH off the ground and it scared me so much that I went upstairs and hid. One day I hope a big giant makes him fly through the air on his back. Problem is, he probably would like it!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Open Your Hearts
Linda told me some sad, but maybe exciting news today. She is friends with the man who is Vice President of the Animal Rescue League in West Virginia. He was telling her today that there is desperate need for foster parents. In WV, there are hundreds of cats and dogs that have been abandoned by the housing crisis or given up because families can't afford to feed them. Their center holds just a few dozen dogs and they have 100's! I can't sleep in my comfy pink bed at night knowing these dogs are sad in such crowded quarters facing uncertain futures. When it is Snicker's time to go to Dog Heaven, we are going to be foster parents to the "little dogs" that are abandoned. People can go online at Pet Finder and adopt the dogs. The problem will be falling in love with the little guys and then having a hard time giving them up. As long as they are going to families who will love them, I'll be happy.
There is Something Fishy About This Story
Yeah! I love Barbie posts, this one is number 6 and it's a whopper too. A 3-year old girl was fishing with her Granddad at a small private pond. Of course, like all little girls, she was using her Barbie fishing pole. (Tierney actually had a Barbie Fishing Pole) The pair caught a 21 pound, 32 inch catfish, smashing the state record. The Barbie pole is only 28 inches long! What a fun story. Unfortunately, the Barbie in this photo did not have such a happy ending.
Whole Lotta Shakin (might be) Goin' On
Scientist have done it again. Just when I can breath a sigh of relief that all is well in Choopie's world, there is another scary study. Now analysts of recent earthquake activity around New York City has found that many small faults that were believed to be inactive could contribute to a major, disastrous earthquake. (That is straight from the real news, not Fate magazine). The same study also found that there is a big line of activity 2 miles from a nuclear power plant, 25 miles from NYC. There is already another fault near there, and the 2 intersect. That means that a few smaller intersecting faults are more dangerous then one big one. The quakes jump from one fault to the next. It's like having a family of faults, and that can contribute to really HUGE earthquakes. Over the past 330 years, there have been 383 known quakes in NYC, with the biggest a 5.0 magnitude. When this one goes, it's going to be way worse. My family better start practicing our earthquake emergency plan. We all could hide under Chips big belly and be shielded from falling debris. I better keep letting her finish my food so she stays nice and fat.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Case of the Missing Ling-Ling Head
Called by the Crocodile
Just yesterday I was blogging about crocodiles. I said I was scared of croc's since they eat Chihuahuas and would not want to be carried in a croc purse. I'm just a wee dog and I seem to have a little more common sense then Rubel Sheikh in Bangladesh. Part of his religion includes a ritual where you go into a pond of crocodiles and bath. The crocks are supposed to give you blessings. Every day people throw hens and goats in the water to feed them. I guess Rubel got in the water before they ate breakfast because the hungry, hungry crocodiles gobbled him right up. Twenty five people jumped in and and tried to save Rubel, but it was too late. I hope that they don't kill the croc for eating him since he was just doing what crocodiles do naturally. Back in 1956, there was a magazine that actually had an article about "called by the crocodile." Click on the photo.
Man Cub
It's about time that there is a heart-warming story in the news. No stupid criminals, no whining people, no mean cats... just a good old fashion hero story. A farmer in Argentina, Fabio Anze, (I don't think its the same Fabio on the romance covers, but it could be) found a naked baby lying amongst his dog China’s puppies. The abandoned baby was only a few hours old and in very good health. China and her puppies protected and kept the baby warm through the cold night. China wasn't forthcoming if someone left the baby with her, or she found it and took it back to her pups. Despite a few bruises, the baby is fine. The 14 year old mother who abandoned the baby has been found. I hope they let China raise the baby, she is obviously a better mother then the teen.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Bloomin' Good Idea!
It's about time someone was brave enough to step up to the "plate" and set some standards. Approximately 64% of Americans are overweight or obese. I'm even on a diet and trying to lose 1/2 pound. Soon Alabama, which "bulged" to second place in national obesity rankings is cracking down on state workers who are too fat. They already charge $25 a month in health insurance premiums to smokers. Now, unless the workers lower their BMI, they will be "forking" over $25 of their hard earned "dough". If state workers don't smoke and are fit, their insurance is free. Of course there will always be a group of people shouting "unfair... blah, blah, blah." If they would spend all that energy working out instead of complaining and protesting, that would be a great start to getting healthy & fit. Not ordering the 2,200 calorie Bloomin' Onion would also help. p.s. please don't send me hate mail.
Loose Leaf Bible
In the Garden of Eden a snake tempted Eve to eat a forbidden apple. She didn't listen to God and ate the apple. God wasn't happy and they had to leave the wonderful garden. The story is in the first book of the Bible, Genesis. I love that chapter because there are a lot of animals and exciting things that happened. Once, a little boy (not Taylor) opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
This Ones For You
Linda and I are such Olympic junkies. It's so incredible watching the athletes excel in their sports. Go USA! Volleyball, both beach and indoor, is awesome. Then we like gymnastics and track & field. It's sad that both USA men & women teams dropped the baton. Swimming was fun too... it's hard to pick what is the best to watch. (Well, field hockey and water polo are not that interesting.) The greatest commercial I've ever seen was just on. There are 2 big Clydesdale horses trying out for the Budwiser team, the horse that does not get chosen just stands there so sad. Then the Dalmatian dog comes up to encourage him. Sparky Dog trains the horse all year (to the theme of the Rocky music) running and pulling stuff in the blinding snow. Next year, the Big Fellow tries out again and gets chosen. The horse and the dog celebrate together. I cried. I think even Linda had tears in her eyes. It's inspired me to chase my toy just a little bit faster when Linda throws it down the hall.
Chipie Le Pew
Teacher's Pet
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
What a Crock!
What would I do with $18,000? No question, I would spend it on the best vet in the country to fix Snickers broken down legs. If the rules were I had to spend it on myself, well... that would take some thought. I think first I'd book a trip to a doggy spa and get pampered for a week. Then I'd spend the rest on dog treats of all flavors and types. Some "Foo-Foo" type pooches might go for this Ralph Lauren $18,000 crocodile dog purse. You couldn't pay me eighteen cents to even go in a carrier that was made of crocodile skin. I'm pretty sure that crocodiles like to eat chihuahuas. It would be like being carried around in a crock's belly. No thanks, I'll pass.
"Sloe" Crooks Fizzle
When we go to bed at night, Linda breaks out the "good cookies." We only get those once a day, and that is right before Snicker's goes out to his dog house and I go into the kitchen. They are these beefy chew strips that are so delicious. I only get a one inch piece, Snickers gets the rest of it. That's OK because it takes me 15 minutes to finish that. Beef is good, and two criminals in Newark NJ agree with me. They stole a shipping container with the words BEEFEATERS on the side. I guess they were expecting a crate filled with bottles of premium gin that they could sell on the black market. Instead, they hit the jackpot! Forget the gin, they were rewarded with 779 cases of dog bones! It seems the gin name does not have an "s" on the end. I'm not sure why they were disappointed. The owners of dog-bone company said it was the second theft in the last few months. I guess they better start putting a dog chewing a bone on the side of their crate. I'll volunteer to be the model.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. Winnie the Pooh
Taylor and Sarah are celebrating their One-Year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has already been that long since they were married. Taylor still has some of his old sneakers in his closet, so I can still smell him when ever I miss him. Sometimes I think Linda goes in the closet too because she misses him so much. Taylor is surprising Sarah with a romantic trip at a super fancy hotel. Someday I hope they have a baby so I can play with it and teach it that cats are evil. p.s. Click on the photo for a close-up view.
Wacky Weed Whacker
Pooper Scooper Barbie
Monday, August 18, 2008
Forage 4 Garbage
Dizzy dog is a two-year old mutt who is obsessed with recycling. She collects cans, plastic bottles, cardboard and takes them to the families recycling shed. Even on vacation at the beach, she picks up plastic bottles to take to the nearby recycling bin. Dizzy loves to drag the recycling bins out to the curb. She even will pick up unopened mail that is laying around the house and take it to the shed. Imagine telling the teacher you don't have your homework because your dog recycled it! I love cardboard and paper too. When there is an empty paper towel holder at my house, I chew it to smithereens. It will take up less space in the trash that way.
Faster Then a Speeding Bullet
Emma is a four-year old chihuahua who lives in Australia. His owner, Paul Hansen is a big fan of paragliding. One day Paul thought it would be fun to take Emma up for a ride. He strapped Emma to his chest with a cloth sling and launched the glider. It wasn't long before they both got tangled in a tree 100 feet up in the air! Fortunately, he had a cell phone and was able to call the police. Police, firefighters and friends searched the area before they finally found the pair and lowered them to safety. Emma must have been petrified. When Taylor comes over to visit, he likes to fly me way over his head (he's 6'6" tall) and that scares the milk bones out of me. I hope Linda never takes me paragliding.