Chase, Where Are You?

One of the dogs that I've become friendly with has gone missing! I met Chase, a long haired wiener dog, at one of Taylor's outdoor soccer games. He was fun, friendly and loved his human very much. One night Linda was trying to watch him while Dave played goalie. Chase get running onto the field to get to Dave while he was playing. Now Chase is missing. He was at Pet Smart in the parking lot when the person with him dropped the leash by accident. He ran away (probably to find Dave) and no one has seen him since. I'm trying to get a photo of him to post. This is what he looks like. He was not wearing his tags, just a blue harness and leash. P.S. UPDATE: We are still looking for Chase. Anyone living in the Cascades, Country Side, Sugarland or near Costco, please keep a lookout!

Hey You!

After a couple of close calls with dogs charging us, Linda has stopped listening to her iPod when we walk so she can be more alert to danger. Two different times the same dog charged through a screen door to attack us. The other day the dog across the street broke free from the garage and tried to eat me. Both times Linda was able to lift me high enough that I was not touched. A poor 5-month old Terrier was walking with his owner on a leash when he was attacked by two Pitt Bulls. The dogs jumped out of a moving car window and attacked the little dog. The owner held the puppy high above his head, but the dogs jumped and attacked the man until he lost his grip on the dog. Little Pebbles died within minutes the jaws of the attacking dogs. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

My Loyal Readers

Only a few more posts until I reach number 2,000! It's hard to believe that I've kept up with my blog that long. I wonder if anyone has read every single post? Probably only Linda, Jerry, Tierney and Paul. Thanks guys!

Don't Lose Your Head

Linda reconnected with an old HS buddy through Facebook. He is a big Hollywood hotshot, producer and actor now. He is organizing their class reunion in Las Vegas. (I already know I won't be going along with her.) This photo is copied from his photo album. Ouch, major headache!

That Too!

Hello? Hey, I'm home alone here everyone! No Jerry. No Tierney. Hardly any Linda. What gives today? Don't you all know that I require lots of love and attention? Not to mention my regularly scheduled chicken meals? Jerry has a good excuse since he had to spend the weekend drawing monkeys and girls with abnormally large bumps in their shirts for comic book geek guys. Tierney was at church this morning, Red Lobster for lunch, then performing her puppet show in the evening. Linda said she has a good excuse too. Breakfast with friends, church, lunch with different friends, (home for hardly anytime at all) then back out to church to play with the babies in the nursery. Now she is home and giving me lots of hugs and kisses trying to make up for the abandonment I was subject to today. Next weekend I'm staying over at Jerry's house Friday night and coming home later on Saturday. I can't wait! He is under my spell and does whatever I command.

One Piece or Bikini?

Drat! I wish I was more diligent this summer with my diet and exercise. To be fair, during the hottest days Linda walked me late at night so I would not have a seizure. I've cut way back on my snacks and cookies too. My meals are 1 tablespoon of chopped chicken and 1 tablespoon of dog food twice a day. For some reason, I still look a little chubby. In two Saturdays (Sep. 11th) I'll be joining lots of other dogs at the giant Downpour Water Park near my house. Once a year they open the pools to dogs. Of course I'll be in the baby pool since those giant dogs jumping in the water could land right on top of me. Linda will be taking lots of photos of my very first swimming outing.

No Biting

Jerry could not come over to play with me today while Linda was working. He had to go to Baltimore and sell his comic books at a big convention. I had to wait until Linda got home from teaching to take my trail walk. As soon as we left our yard, the wild German Shepard dog across the street came busting out of the door and raced over to us. Linda picked me up before he reached us and she practiced her best Cesar Milan dominate stance and stared the dog down. He was barking and charging looking like he wanted to bite us, but the dog actually backed away from us when Linda held her stance! The lady came out screaming for the dog to come home, which only got it more excited. Luckily, the dog did not get hit by a car and they were able to catch it. The rest of the walk was uneventful. Well, Linda got a hundred bug bites on her legs, but that was all.

Brodie

I actually had a great time tonight. Linda took me to Family Night at church. Usually, I hate it. There are too many people, a few crazy dogs and I'm stressed the entire time. Tonight there was only one other dog, Brodie. He is a tiny Shorkie about half my size. Not only was he adorable, but we had the same exact energy. We played a little, but were happy to just chill out in the grass together while Linda and Tierney talked to their friends. Brodie belongs to Taylor's wife Sarah's brother Jon. (Get that?) So we are kind of related through marriage. My New Best Friend! Linda did not have her phone or camera with her, but here is a photo of what he looks like. It was kind of humbling not being the cutest dog. One person said I was fat and another person said that the hair on my head was thinning.

Ouch!

Tierney, Taylor, Sarah and 150 of their closest friends went camping last weekend. Tierney usually uploads the fun photos, but she is taking her time. (Tier, get the photos up on Facebook... STAT!) Maybe next year Linda will go with them, which means maybe I'll get to go too. Some people were just yards from wild black bears, so maybe it's better if I don't go. I would be the perfect size for a bear cookie!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

We have a whole entire week of beautiful weather coming our way. Linda said to get ready because we are going to be walking, walking and walking some more. I'm primed and ready to go! I slept like a log last night because I was so tuckered out from all the exercise. Unfortunately, the added exercise keeps Linda from a good nights sleep. When she over-trains, the first thing it effects is her ability to get and stay asleep. Her muscles feel twitchy, almost like little fireworks are going off in her legs, back and shoulders all night long. Even if her brain is tired and wants to sleep, her body feels like an electrical current is running through it all night long. Poor Linda.

Yeah For Me!

Just got home from my THIRD walk of the day. It was so nice today that I got to go in the morning, afternoon and I just got back at 10:30 p.m. from my night walk. I am going to slim down in no time if we keep up the three 20 minute walks on the weekdays and then the longer one hour afternoon walk and 20 minute night walk on the weekends. Linda likes it too because it's relaxing for her just to walk without all the jumping, running, kicking, punching, lifting or sprinting holding a heavy ball over her head she does in classes. If I can lose 1 1/2 pounds Linda said she will buy me a new winter coat. This is the one I want even if it is not very stylish. I just freeze in the winter and this parka will keep me extra warm. Plus it's only 12.99 on Amazon so the price is right. I hope it comes in other colors though.

Still Cool Kids Meal Prizes

Linda took Tierney to McDonald's for lunch today. She said it has been almost 15 years since she has eaten a meal at McD's. When Tier and Taylor were little, they would go for breakfast a few times a week before school. Tierney was raving about a new salad they serve, so Linda decided to to with her. Tier actually wanted one of the little toys that came with the kids meal. Um...food was so-so, but lots of good memories as she sat and ate with Tier. When Snickers was alive he used to get a small cheeseburger as a treat at the McD's near our house. Linda would walk him up to the Starbucks to sit outside and have her iced coffee. While she had her coffee, Snickers would enjoy his cheeseburger from the McD's next door. Since dogs are not allowed in the restaurant, she would have to give the money to a stranger to go and by the burger for him. Maybe I can uphold the tradition. What do you say Linda?

What?

I'm glad we don't live in Philadelphia. The city is requiring that personal blogs that run any advertisements pay a $300 business privilege licensing fee. What? That is crazy. I've decided not to run ads on my blog, but have not ruled it totally out. If Philly starts this, you know other cities won't be far behind. Besides, how do they expect a dog to come up with $300. True story... one time one of those companies who send you address labels looking for a donation sent the letter to Snickers old girl friend Sheba. It said Sheba (and our last name!) Ha-Ha. Sheba did not send any money either.

Life is Good

YEAH for cooler weather! Linda came home from church tonight and we walked almost 40 minutes. I did get tired toward the end and she carried me, but it was so refreshing and liberating to run and not get overheated. After my exercise I had a yummy bowl of chicken and rice for dinner. Plus, the cat is downstairs out of my hair. Ah.... Life is good.

Great Doodle

Everyone knows that I am a Chorkie... half Chihuahua and half Yorkie. Everyone always comments how adorable I am when we are walking, at the dog park or the first time they meet me. It's fun being unusual and looking different. I just recently found out about another designer dog I'd never heard about. You can now get a Great Doodle. That is a cross between a Great Dane and a Poodle! From the research I did, they cost 600% more than I did. I guess if you figure out the cost per pound, it's about a wash.

One Eye Open

Tierney came over to spend the evening with us. I was very jealous because they were snuggling on the small couch and there was no room for me. Plus, Tier was getting some rubs and that made me mad! After she left, I took a nap next to Linda. She said I was freaking her out because I was sound asleep, twitching and running my little paws... but my eyes were open. She googled "can dogs sleep with their eyes open" to be sure I wasn't having a seizure or something. Turns out, some dogs do sleep with their eyes open. There was one article that said sometimes only half our brains can sleep at a time and that can cause our eyes to stay open. I might come in handy if Chip decides to attack me when I'm napping.

Woobie

It was a little too hot to enjoy my trail walk with Jerry today. I usually make it most of the way, but I had to be carried a bunch of times. One time when I wanted to run fast, I started wheezing and had trouble breathing. When we got home, I took a nap for 20 minutes then we played with my toys inside until it was time for Linda to get home from her classes. Santos is outside mowing the lawn right now, when he is done Linda is going to take me out in the backyard to get a little more exercise. This photo has nothing to do with my day, but isn't this puppy cute cuddling his woobie?

Sir Chipstercat

I found a wonderful artist who works with metal. He is famous for his suits of armor for cats and mice! Jeff de Boer also makes other art forms with his metal, but my favorite is this suit of armor for Chip cat. If we do get a giant dog in the near future, Chip is going to need this suit. Plus, I'll be able to hear her coming from way across the house. She'll never be able to jump out and scare me again. Google his name and check out all the other great pieces of art. I wonder if he would make one for me?

Donate Now

Get out your credit card and call the following 800 number right now. The Portland Fire Department is launching a fund raising drive to raise money for pet oxygen masks. When pets are rescued from a fire, they need extra oxygen too. The firemen are currently using people masks to try and revive the pets. For a donation of just $40, you can buy one mask and possibly save a pets life. I think all fire stations should have pet masks on all their trucks. Here is the number to donate to the Portland FD: 1 800 381 1156. Linda is going to contact our local FD and ask if she can head up a fund raising drive for our town.

Say NO to Cankles

Finally! Linda's new Gold's gym opened today. Why is this good for Choopie? Because now she won't have to drive so far to the other gym where she was teaching during the construction. Which also means that she won't have to leave for work so early and can spend way more time at home with me. On Friday, she used to have to find something to do for 3 1/2 hours between her noon and 4:30 class since it was too far to ride home. Now, at the new gym, it is just 5 minutes from our house. Yea! I can finally work off my cankles.

Run! Hide!!

I am SO thankful that Chip cat isn't this big! She does all sorts of frightening things to me, but at least she isn't the size of these two beasts. The story said they were fighting over who got to be in the pond.

Fighting Stance

Linda has so much fun teaching TKD at her 2 schools. This photo was taken after the belt ceremony Saturday. They are not wearing their TKD outfits because she took all the kids to the local ice cream/donut place for a end of summer party. The two big boys on the end are her assistants, Matt and Ethan.

Lil' Monkey

It's so boring around here today. I wish I could take a nice long walk. There's been a lot of muggy, humid and hot days in a row to get much exercise. I can't wait until fall so I can get back to my 3 a-days! I keep driving Linda nuts wanting to go to use the "big pp pad" out in our back yard. I've figured out that when I tell Linda I need to go out, I get a small piece of treat after I tinkle in the yard. Problem is, I'm making her get up 5 or 6 times an hour. She is resting now after her 4 classes and will be going out again at 10:45 pm for Taylor and Sarah's soccer game. The good thing about that is that I'm sure I'll be getting a midnight walk when she gets back. Until then, I'll just monkey around.

Yucky Yum

Cheese is one of my favorite foods. Since I've been on my diet, I can't have it anymore. Some lucky person will be able to order the Denny's new Double Cheese Melt next week. Denny's is offering a new mozzarella stick stuffed grilled cheese sandwich to their menu. It has an estimated 1,940 calories, about what I should eat in three weeks! No wonder so many humans are fat. The old saying goes "If your dog is fat, you are not getting enough exercise." In Linda's case, so much of her exercise has to be inside a gym, so I don't benefit from all her working out. She is NOT going to order this sandwich though. But if she did, it would be with a diet coke for sure.

(Not So) Good Night

Whew! I'm beat. The last person finally left my house. It was very stressful, but I survived. For part of the party, Linda had me in her bedroom and then down in the spare bedroom. I sat on her lap for a little while, but when I started panting and stressing, she put back in the bedroom where I whined and cried. There were 4 kids (age 1-4) who all wanted to poke me at once, so she said it was for my own good. Afterward, I thought I was going to at least get all the food scraps dropped on the floor, but she vacuumed and wet mopped the kitchen before she let me back upstairs. I just finished my supper and now I'm going to bed. I only napped a few minutes today and I'm so tired. Next time she has that many people to our house, I want to go to a puppy sitter!

Pig in a Blanket Anyone?

Linda has been cleaning and getting the house ready for tomorrow evening. She is having 25 people over from church. I DID NOT like last year when she had the same gathering. It was so stressful with 50 feet walking all around me. I'm so small that I could be crushed by accident. Linda said I might have to stay in one of the downstairs bedroom during the buffet/eating part. Once everyone sits down for the Bible study, I can come out and sit on her lap. Hopefully there will be some yummy leftovers.

Read My Mind

This is not news to me, but a new study reveals that 20% of women confide their deep, dark secrets to their dogs, not their friends or husbands. The same study found that 14% of women feel that their dogs can read their minds. I know all of Linda's secrets and can tell when she is scared, sad or needs a kiss. The same goes for me. She always knows when I don't feel well, if I'm hungry or need to go outside. We have a connection, for sure. This day, Linda could tell I was feeling a little embarrassed about my new hair cut and was hesitant to go out for a walk.

Time is making fools of us again. J.K. Rowling

Dumbledore does not want to wear his wizard hat.

Team Edward

Even cats like Twilight.

I Don't Know What to Even Say

Why Did the Chicken Go To Jail?

Ohhhh... I do love my chicken. Linda ran out of chicken so for 2 whole days I just had regular dog food. I think I lost some weight because I am spoiled and only like my dog food when it's combined with chopped white meat chicken breast. I don't like the dark meat, just the boneless, skinless chicken breast. Anyway, she must have bought some more because tonight I had the most delicious dinner ever. Even though I really missed my chicken, I did not go crazy like the women at McDonald's in Ohio. When the cashier at the drive-thru window would not sell her chicken nuggets (it was early morning, 6 a.m.), she smashed the window and punched out two employees. time. She'll be spending 60 days in jail where she won't be having any McDonald's nuggets.

Sir, There is a Diamond in My Dessert

Linda has been craving a really good piece of carrot cake. She had lunch with some friends Sunday and the restaurant had carrot cake for $2.95. She decided to save her money and not order it. She could have splurged if you ask me. At least it wasn't the $14,500 chocolate, fruit, mango and pomegranate dessert served in Sri Lanka. You get to keep the 80K aquamarine plate it is served on though. Or if you have an extra $1.4 million, you can order a special dessert in New Orleans. The plate of strawberries is topped with cream in mint. Underneath your berries you'll find a 4.7-carat pink diamond. What's the waiter's tip on $1.4 million?

Vampire Kittens

I new online computer game has you trying to fling hungry vampire kittens into graveyards so they can feed on peoples brains. You might hit a pile of garlic, stake your kitten on a pointed stick or kick your kitten into a priest if you are not careful. I think I like this game.

http://www.e4.com/game/vampire-kittens/play.e4

Nom Nom Nom

New Warning Issued: Don't feed your kids dog food. True! A new government report warns that feeding your children dog food could make them sick. Between 2006-2008, 79 people in 21 states got salmonella poisoning from eating dog food. Half of those sickened were under 2 years of age. I guess those little tykes crawl around the kitchen floor and snack on the dog food. I wonder why it does not make us dogs sick, but can make people sick? Maybe Linda better stop adding dog food to my chicken. She is thinking about adding rice and chopped veggies to my chicken instead of wet dog food.

There is only ONE!

I've been ripped off! While Linda was reading some stories on the net, she saw another blog written by a Chihuahua named.... Chalupa! I'm dead serious. I'm not even believing it. Ohhh, I'm so mad. Chalupa even talks about how she lives with an annoying cat. Or then there is the entry about fashion or how much she loves her human. Maybe I should be flattered or maybe it's just one giant coincidence.

I'll Have a Chalupa, Hold the Lettuce

A 21 state-wide salmonella outbreak has been linked to Taco Bell. The veggies were contaminated with the germ that made a lot of people sick. We'll never have to worry about Taylor getting sick there. Everything he orders is plain, just meat and cheese. If there is even a speck of lettuce or vegetable, he can't eat it.

One of a Kind

Tierney has a great eye for fashion and she is also a very good artist. She can combine her two talents if she buys one of these new "Color-In" Dresses. The dress is shipped right to your house. The black and white graphic print comes with textile colored markers so you can design your own one of a kind, custom dress. Here are two dresses that are already finished. I bet Tierney's would be even prettier.

Not Yeti

Both Linda and I are super tired tonight. I walked the trail with Jerry and played fetch the toy all morning and into the afternoon. Linda was gone from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. teaching TKD, entertaining kids at a birthday party then walking around a car show for 3 hours. Even if she wanted to take me for a walk before bed, I could not even possibly walk 2 houses cause I'm so tuckered out. We are kicking back relaxing watching the best Yeti movie on Sci-fi. The Yeti is eating all the kids from the plane crash one-by-one. (The star football player just tackled the Yeti but I think he is going to get his leg torn off.) This is Jerry's comic book about a Yeti trying to eat Tork and Tara.

Balanced Meal

This frozen dinner looks delicious. You have chicken, peas and carrots, mashed potatoes, corn and even a brownie for dessert. Oh but wait, the whole meal is dessert! The new cupcake craze is taking over the world. This TV dinner is actually all delicious cupcakes. I want Megan to make one of these and post it on her Red Spoon Blog. I also want her to do special cupcakes that are healthy for dogs to eat. Linda said if Megan gave her a recipe, she would actually make them for me.

Butt Wait

Linda is now in charge of my grooming. A few months ago she decided that spending $70 on my haircut was a huge waste of money. It actually looked like I needed to be groomed the day after I got home from Dog-a-Do. It was way nicer to have my haircut in my own kitchen with people I love acting as my groomers. Now Linda will have to learn a new skill. The craze now is to use non-toxic markers and scissors to sculpt our butt areas into into fun shapes. This poodle's butt was turned into a panda face! I would certainly be the hit of the dog park if Linda sculpted my butt area into a work of art.

Isn't This How Zombies Are Born?

Breaking News: A newborn baby was pronounced dead after her birth by doctors in a hospital in Mexico. They took the poor little dead infant to the local funeral home for a memorial service. During the wake, the parents heard crying from inside the coffin. The little girl was alive! They opened the casket and took their baby out. The girl was admitted to another hospital and is doing fine. The same thing happened last year in Paraguay. From movies I've seen, this is exactly how Zombies are born. (Or diagnosis from unqualified Doctors or miracles from Jesus!)

Cat Burglar

Last year Linda had a giant yard sale. She sold hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of stuff. Three other families from her church also bought stuff over to sell. At the peak, there were more than 20 shoppers at once grabbing the bargains. Linda could not stay for the whole sale, so all the other families sold her stuff for her. That is probably where this guy got the idea for his crime. I'm not sure if the crook in the following story is smart or just extremely lucky. He broke into a strangers garage, opened the door and had a impromptu garage sale with all their stuff. Neighbors and people driving by stopped to get a bargain on the $40,000 dollars worth of tools, furniture and equipment he sold before getting in his car and leaving 2 hours later. Police said that the shoppers are now in possession of stolen property and must return it. I bet this cat is the number-one suspect.

Theres An App For That

Tierney used to be obsessed with learning how to survive a Zombie attack. She once said we would be safe in our split-level home because Zombies can't climb stairs. (Whew, I was really worried there for a second.) Anyway, seems she is not alone. Many others are also concerned with surviving a global Zombie attack. iPhone now as an app called The Zombie Survival Guide Scanner to Detect Zombies. You take a photo of the suspect, and the app can determine their level of infection. This app is your first line of defense in the event of a world-wide Zombie assault. I hope Linda gets it soon because the first thing I'm scanning is evil Chip-Cat.

Monkey Business

OK, so here is the monkey story. Turns out my source was wrong. A man did not stuff 18 monkeys down his pants like I originally reported. He stuffed 18 monkeys inside a girdle under his tee-shirt. The bloated man was stopped and searched at Mexico City's airport when officials were suspicious about his giant belly. Sure enough, the 38-year old man had 18 tiny endangered monkeys stuffed inside a girdle. He wanted to sell the expensive monkeys and make some money. I can't even imagine what those poor monkeys must have been feeling. Not to mention what happened to all the monkey poo!! Two of the poor little guys were already dead. The other 16 monkeys were rescued. The dumb man actually said he was going to put them in a suitcase, but he was afraid the x-ray machine would hurt them. Oh, so suffocating them in a girdle would be better? Duh. I hope he gets a bill-jillion years in jail.

Honk Foo

I know you are expecting to read about pant monkeys, but I am tired and need a honk foo. Maybe later. (Linda said when I sleep I snore. It sounds just like "honk foo")

Yikes!

My next blog post will be about 18 monkeys stuffed inside a mans pants. Stay tuned.

Nurse Sarah

We love Sarah so much. She takes such good care of Taylor. Her nursing skills sure come in handy sometimes (see, Linda told you we wouldn't tell!) This is a photo of her sitting on her Mommy's lap when she was just a wee-baby. The top photo is last Mother's Day. Molly is around the same age as Sarah when she had her, although she does look about 10 years old.