Happy New Year!!

Just 2 1/2 more hours until we ring-in a new year. I've been writing this blog since February of 2008. When I look back at some of my first posts, it makes me very nostalgic. My life was very different as a puppy. Snickers was alive. Jerry & Tierney lived with us. Now everything has changed, but I can't say I like it any less. My life is fabulous and am very thankful for how much I'm loved every single day. Here is my 2011 resolution: I'm going to celebrate and make the most of each and every day in 2011. Oh and lose that last one-half pound!!

Tag, You're It!

We tried an experiment this evening. Linda was gone all day today and got home at 5:45. She took us for another walk (our second of the day, it was almost 60 degrees!) and had to go right back out to a wedding. Instead of putting Chimmie back in the bathroom, she shut the doors all over the house and let him run around with me. Chip had to stay locked downstairs because she can get crabby. Except for one tiny accident, he did OK. I admit, I'm exhausted. Playing 2 hours without Linda to act as referee was almost too much for me to handle. I kind of wish she would have put me in the bathroom and let him run around. Hopefully, with the two walks, backyard time and all the horsing around we did tonight, he'll be quite and sleep thru the night. Linda has decided he needs to sleep in the bathroom since he is keeping us both up.

Ruby Woo Loves You!

Tierney has started a fabulous fashion blog. If you ever wondered what to wear with your new skinny leopard belt or jaunty lobster scarf, this is the blog for you! I'm going to ask her to do a post about what is new for stylish little dogs (like me!) She actually bought me my first coat ever, a navy blue double breasted pea coat with gold buttons. It won't be long before Vogue picks her up as head fashion editor.

RubyWooLovesYou.com

Rise and Shine... NOT

It's going to be another weird night for Chimmie and I. On Christmas eve, Linda got up at 3:00 a.m. to take Sarah and Taylor to the airport. We got up with her, but both of us fell right back asleep. When she got home at 5:00 a.m., Linda wanted to go to bed, but we wanted to play. Tonight she is headed back to the airport, but this time she leaves at 11:45 p.m. By the time they collect the luggage and drive home from the airport, it will probably be close to 1:00 a.m. We'll have been sleeping, so when she gets in bed, we'll think it's morning already. Linda wishes they made doggie sleeping pills. The last 4 or 5 nights, Chimmie is up every 20 minutes wanting to play or use the pee-pee pad. If you add up the small amount of time Linda is actually sleeping, it's not more than 3 hours a night. It looks like he is might be spending nights in the bathroom from now on. The first weeks will be horrible. He'll scratch and cry to come out for hours. The lack of sleep is giving Linda headaches and she is having a hard time making it through her classes.

Working Out

I'm finally winning the battle of my pudge. As you all know, I've been working on losing weight all year. My highest ever was 6.2 pounds. Now I'm down to 5.6. I know one-half of a pound does not sound like much, but when you are as little as I am, it's enough to really notice the difference. Our walks have been sporadic the last month because of the weather. I think once spring comes and our walks become consistent, I will get to my goal of 5 pounds. Linda just read a story about an 8-year old little girl who lost 300 pounds. She was the fattest girl in the world. The video showed her screaming and fighting her mom for food. She demanded to eat constantly and if her mom did not feed her junk food, she went ballistic. In one day, she would eat 10,000 calories of coke, burger, fries and sweets. She was no longer able to walk and had to drag herself along the floor. The girl got so fat, she finally went into respiratory failure and was rushed to the hospital. Child Services stepped in and removed the girl from her home. She was admitted to a hospital supervised weight loss center in another state. Her mom was required to attend parenting and nutrition classes. Because she is now 300 pounds lighter the girl is able to attend school, go shopping and play at the playground. These photos of our playground time are from this fall. You can search youtube if you want to watch the video yourself.

Calories In Don't Always Equal Calories Out

A gym friend of Linda's found out how much she loves carrot cake. As a treat, he bought her a giant slab of carrot cake and two cups of whipped cream from the Cheesecake Factory. Jeff showed up for Body Pump class yesterday toting a shopping bag with the cake inside. What a nice surprise! The slice of cake is honestly bigger than I am. I bet Chimmie could eat it all in 2 minutes flat. Linda looked up the nutrition information on the Cheesecake Website. The slice has 1,549 calories. It would take her almost 4 whole hours of Body Pump to work it off. A few weeks ago, another friend stopped by her house with a slab of 5-layer dark chocolate cake from PF Changs. Maybe the guys are trying to fatten her up.

The Destroyer

Chimmie the Destroyer strikes again. These are the toys he has destroyed in the last few days. It takes him less than 20 minutes to totally behead a little monkey or gnaw an ear off another monkey and pull his brains out. Even the "Kong" toys that are supposed to be almost indestructibly don't stand a chance with Chimmie. He has chewed the entire top off both of our Kong's trying to get at the treats hidden inside. Help!! Does anyone out there know of toys that can withstand a 4 month old Chihuahua? Email us at chalupa@live.com.

They Stole OUR Money!

Poor Linda was upset when she got home from her class this afternoon. She stopped at her bank to make a deposit, but it was closed. She wasn't mad it was closed, but when she found out why... she was furious! Someone robbed it at gunpoint a few hours earlier!! She has been banking there for almost 25 years. It's just over one mile from our house, so close! What if the crooks were trying to find a hiding space and busted into our house? Linda had planned to go earlier, but got too busy and lost track of time. If she would have gone when she planed, she might have been in the bank when the robbers came in. She might have done something stupid and tried to disarm the gunman. Thank God she went later. We are going to be sure to check our door locks tonight. I'm going to be extra alert and listen for any weird sounds.

Baby Noah

Linda just loves baby Noah. He is Sarah's sister Gretel's baby. Of all the babies in the nursery last night at church, Linda said he was the best one. He never cried or made a fuss. Where ever she put him, he played happily. Noah is a master at taking off his socks though. Every time she would check on him, one of his socks was off. Gretel said that he even took his pants off all by himself! He's just a wee-lad, just 2 months old.

What, ME?

It's snowing lightly and very, very cold. Too cold to go out and take a walk. Chimmie is going crazy being cooped up, so Linda took him out back and threw the ball around. He ran so fast he looked like a blur. Next they came inside and she threw the toy with him another 30 minutes. He is finally tiring out and has curled up on the couch next to Linda and I. Admittedly, he was cooped up in the bathroom all morning. Linda came home for 10 minutes to feed us and let him run a second, then she went back out to have lunch with her friends. She has baby duty tonight at church, so she'll be leaving us again in just a little while. Part of the reason we got Chimmie is so I would have company while she is gone. That's not the way things have been. He has to stay in the bathroom while she is gone because he is T R O U B L E.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

From our entire family... We wish you a blessed and merry Christmas! I hope you got to spend time with your loved ones and spend a day relaxing and resting. (Rest is the key word at our house. Linda stayed up all night since she took Taylor and Sarah to the airport. They left at 3:30 this morning. She has been napping on and off all afternoon to try to catch up on her sleep.)

Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity

Every Christmas, the family goes to iHop for breakfast. It's a tradition they have been doing for years and years. They took this exact photo last year too. Santa seems to have slimmed down from last year.

Choop-n-Boots

We all had so much fun opening presents today. Everyone liked their gifts except me. I got new Uggs. I hate them. I let Linda put them on me for the photo, but that is it. Then she let me try on Tierney's Uggs. I liked those better.

But I've Been Good!

We just found out we are having our Christmas today, and a little Christmas tomorrow. Taylor and Sarah are leaving at 3:45 a.m. Christmas morning to go to a fabulous resort. Linda is taking them to the airport to see them off. (I guess that means I'm getting up really early too.) Everyone will come over this afternoon to open presents and then Tierney will come over Christmas morning to open a few more. It's going to be a quite Christmas day for us, just how I like it. Linda told me that I already got so many toys on Tuesday night at the pre-Christmas party, that I'm not getting anything today or tomorrow. That's OK, as long as she is with me, I'm a happy dog.

29 Down

Linda has taught me many, many words. I know Choopie's bed, big bed, pee-pee pad, shoes, cookie, supper, chicken, sit, down, "bang you're dead", outside, toy, carry me, street, wait, Chooipie's bag, come girl, plus a few more. That's pretty smart, huh? Well, a border collie named Chaser is officially the smartest animal in the world, even more then parrots or apes. Over the last 3 years, his owner has taught him 1,022 names for individual items. Chaser has been video taped by researchers and has proved his brilliance. We watched some of the video. In one, there are 50 different toys on a blanket and his owner says "Chester, bring me the toy boat" and sure enough, the dog looks over the blanket items until he finds the boat and brings it to his human. Linda is now motivated to teach me even more words.

Why did the chicken go to the airport?

I'm glad that there is increased security at the airport. Sarah and Taylor will be leaving in a few days to fly to a beautiful vacation resort. It might take a little longer to go through the screening process, but it's worth the peace of mind to know you are safe. The TSA employees are being very weary as they screen bags. Just this past Tuesday, an entire airport was shut down when the TSA employee found a frozen chicken and a head-mounted mining light in someones bag. I guess the combination of the chicken and lamp looked just like a bomb. Sniffing police dogs were called to the scene to inspect the chicken. The did not find any bombs or drugs, but I'm sure the dogs were anxious to get a bite of the meat. The entire airport was evacuated while the chickens cavity was searched. The only thing that was stuffed in the chicken was some crawfish. There was nothing in the story that explained why someone had a frozen chicken or mining lamp in their bag.

Assult by Candy Cane

What is going on in this world that students can't pass out candy canes at their high school without getting grief? Not to far from my house, 10 boys got detention and work duty for trying to spread some Christmas cheer. The boys call themselves the "Christmas Sweater Club" because they wear incredibly tacky Christmas sweaters to school and sign carols around the school grounds. One morning at 7 a.m., the boys were singing carols and tossing small 2" wrapped candy canes to students as they entered school. This next part is quoted right from the article: School authorities said the boys were "maliciously trying to maim students with the intent to injure." They said that " candy canes are weapons because you could sharpen them with your mouth and stab people." Another school administrator said that "not everyone wants Christmas cheer. That suicide rates are up over Christmas and the boys should keep their cheer to themselves." The boys refused to go all bah-hum-bug and continue to wear their sweaters and sing carols. They just stopped passing out the candy canes.

Whoa! When Did You Get So Big?

Linda pulled out her old camera since our new one is not working. She is practicing with it because it's much more complicated then our old one. She got a few cute photos, but she does not know how to work all the settings. Look how much bigger then me Chimmie is!! When he came to live with us, I was almost twice his size.

Christmas Dinner

I'm so EXCITED! Jerry and Paul are coming over tonight to give Chimmie and I our Christmas presents. I love getting presents. This will be Chimmie's first Christmas, so I'll have to show him the ropes. Don't spend too long on any one toy or treat. There are always more coming. Linda is making the boys lasagna, garlic bread and salad. For dessert, she is baking a chocolate chip cookie brownie bars. She will serve it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. She bought Chimmie and I doggie ice cream called Frosty Paws so we can enjoy the party too. I'll post the photos later tonight.

P.S. Linda's camera still isn't working so no photos :( Jerry took some but it will be awhile before he sends them to us. We got sooooo much loot! Probably 20 toys in all and 2 bags of treats! Every toy that I opened, Chimmie would come and steal it. He ran down the hall to put the first one in his bed! That fink. My favorite is a gorilla that actually makes real ape sounds. Chimmie's favorite was a snowman that squeaks. He actually already has the eye torn up. She totally forgot about the Frosty Paws though. We'll have it on Christmas Day for dinner. I guess Linda is off to Target to buy a new camera.

Prada or Gucci?

Who's Christmas

Yeah, it's 10:00 p.m. and Linda is finally home with us. She left at 8:00 a.m. to have coffee with her friends; went directly to church; came home for just a couple of hours; went to her friends Christmas party; left right from her house to go back to church for the big Christmas party/program. This year the play was "Whoville" with Cindy Lou Who and her family of Whos who are looking for the real meaning of Christmas. It was wonderful and the music was amazing. Every holiday, Tierney, Taylor, Sarah and Linda take family photos. Some are silly... some are serious. Tonight Linda's camera battery was dead, so Tierney took all the photos. We have to wait until Tier posts them on facebook before I can copy them to on my blog. Check back later to see the photos of the family in Whoville. Oh, and thank you Paul for coming to play with Chimmie and I while she was gone. We appreciate it soooo much!

Allergic to Chimichangas?

The weirdest thing just happened. Linda was working on her laptop with me by her side. Chimmie was out in the dining room lounging in the sunshine by the sliding door. Out of nowhere, he starts screaming, yipping and crying. By the time Linda could move her laptop and get the blanket off, he was starting to run down the hall. Poor guy was scared out of his mind. That's not the weird thing. (Although we don't know if Chip got at him or he hurt himself getting into mischief.) Linda picked him up to cuddle and comfort him, holding him in her arms up by her neck. In about 30 seconds, her skin started burning like it was on fire! She quickly put him down and ran water on a paper towel to put on her burning skin. Since he was still crying and petrified, she picked him back up to hold him again. OUCH! It was like someone rubbed stinging thorns on her neck and bare arms. She ran into the bathroom and there were poison ivy like little red bumps and a horrible rash where she held him to her skin. He's always made her a little itchy when he scratches her while they play, but never a breakout like this one. This is troubling. You can't really tell by the photo how bad it is.
P.S. About 1/2 hour has gone by and the redness/itchy feeling is going away.

We Want to Help!

Linda did not write this, although she could have. The person who wrote it on her blog must have had a hidden camera in our house.

Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor. Get tape back from puppy. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth. Open box. (I'm older dog, Chimmie is puppy for you new readers.) Take Chimmie out of box. Remove tape from Choopie's mouth. Take scissors away from Chimmie. Put present in box. Remove present from Chimmie's mouth. Put back in box after removing Chimmie from box. Take scissors from Choopie and sit on them. Remove Chimmie from box and put on lid. Take tape away from Choopie. Unroll paper. Take Chimmie off box. Cut paper being careful not to cut Chimmie's foot or nose that is getting in the way as he "helps." Let Chimmie tear remaining paper. Take Chimmie off box. Wrap paper around box. Remove Chimmie from box & take wrapping paper from its mouth. Tell Choopie to fetch the tape so he will stop stealing it. Take scissors away from Chimmie. Take tape Choopie is holding. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from Choopie & sitting on them again. Fend off Chimmie tying to steal tape & tape another spot. Take bow from Choopie. Go get roll of wrapping paper Chimmie ran off with. Take scissors from Choopie who took them when you got up. Give pen to Chimmie to hold so he stops licking your face. Remove Chimmie from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the paper on. Take now soggy bow from Choopie & tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks. Take pen from Chimmie, address tag & affix while Choopie tries to eat pen. Grab present before Chimmie opens it & put it away. Clean up mess both dogs made playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell dogs what good helpers they are. (Linda added the next part:) Get carpet cleaner and rag to clean up the mess Chimmie made on the floor while she was getting scissors from Choopie.)

A Time to Play, A Time to Sleep

I wish this photo was bigger, but Jerry sent to us from his iPhone and Linda does not know how to enlarge it. It's funny for a few different reasons. First, we both don't like getting our paws wet. See how we are checking out the snow but standing on the dry sidewalk? Second, look how big Chimmie has gotten this past week. Jerry could not zipper his coat! He just kept it open and hooked the leash to the d-rings on the back of it. Granted, he was wearing a sweater under the coat, but the last walk we did the coat zipped right up. We walked for an hour this morning, then Jerry played with us throwing toys for another hour. You would think Chimmie would be super tired, right? NOT! Linda came home this afternoon and had work to do on her laptop. He would not stop bugging her; driving her absolutely nuts. She eventually put him in the bathroom for an hour so she could work. Now at 8:30 p.m., he's finally crashed.

One Step Forward, Twenty Steps Back

Just when I thought Chim was making improvements, he goes and pulls this stunt. Chimmie is being B A D tonight. Linda had to go out tonight to the gyms Christmas Party. She was only gone from 6-8:30, but Chim was M A D he had to go back into the bathroom. Since she got home and he has been out, he has done unspeakable things. Besides not using the pee-pee pad on purpose, he has been scratching and biting on Linda to get attention. She had to do the Cesar flip and pin him on his side until he calmed down. Now he is S A D that she is not giving us our nightly chew bone that we usually get to gnaw on before bed. Too B A D Chimmie, if you are not a good boy, you don't get a treat. (And neither do I, so behave yourself!)

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus

I always thought that Lil' Smokies were the perfect size to use in a Nativity Scene. (I wish they showed the after picture when it was done baking.)

Christmas Extravagance

Some people go all out on their Christmas trees. The Emirates Palace Hotel has put up an $11 million dollar tree in their lobby. The ornaments sparkle with diamonds, gold, and other gems. I don't even think it's all that. Imagine how many presents that money would buy little needy kids? We are not putting up a Christmas tree. After Tierney and Taylor got older, Linda stopped doing a tree. They would do a cactus or palm tree. Once she ran outside on Christmas morning and broke a branch of the pine tree off. She put it in a vase and added some tinsel, ta-DA! instant Christmas tree. This year with Taz-Chimmie running loose, it would have been destroyed in minutes. She did get all her Holiday Starbucks bears out and put them up where Chimmie can't reach them. I have everything I ever could want or need, so Linda does not have to buy me one present. But if she wanted to make me a special Christmas dinner with bacon and cheese, that would be A-OK with me!

Hero Buck

Another dog saves the day. Buck, a chocolate Lab came to the rescue when his human slipped on the ice. The women was going out to get her mail when she fell on the ice and hit her head, knocking herself unconscious. Her dog, Buck immediately laid down on top of the women to keep her warm in the frigid 11 degree temperature. He stayed on top of her until she came to and licked her face when she woke up. If he would not have kept her warm, the women might have froze to death. This isn't the first time Buck was a Hero. Seven years ago he ran into the road to push the women's young daughter out of the way from getting hit by a car. The dog is now so popular he has his own facebook page. I'll have to friend him!

Dog Park Etiquette

We've been going to the dog park for the past two years. Chimmie just had his first visit in November, but he was too scared to play much. In all the times we have gone, I've never been attacked or even saw another dog attacked. There are some rambunctious dogs that sometimes knock the littler dogs over, but it's all in fun. Linda has nicely told people who bring dogs bigger than 25 pounds into the "little dog" side to leave, and everyone has been friendly. I'm glad that we don't live near Tompkins Square Dog Park. There has been so many attacks by dogs on other dogs and humans that people now bring big knives or hammers into the dog park to defend themselves and their pets. A few times during walks or at festivals a dog has lashed out at me to bite me, but Linda has always saved me in time. If your dog can't behave, keep it inside and don't bring it to the dog park.

Snow is Coming

Today might just be the first day Chimmie sees snow. The weather person said to be on the lookout this afternoon for 1-3". That's nothing to me. Last year I actually went out with Linda during out monster blizzard. She carried me inside her down parka that is rated for -50 below temperatures. I was toasty warm. She only put me down for one second to get a photo and I did not like it at all. Chimmie can't abide the temperature when it's below 32, I'm not sure he'll be able to go out at all with snow on the ground. He's full Chihuahua and does not have any fur at all.

Just Be Kind Everyone

I'm glad we don't live in Germany. The courts there have just made a ruling that separated spouses do not have the right to visit a pet that they shared during the marriage. If the dog goes with the husband, the wife does not have any legal right to ask for visitation. The women was only asking for a few hours a week to toss the ball with her dog, but the judge said no. Just like I said in the below post, can't people just be kind to one another? I would just die if I did not get to see Jerry once a week. He made this comic page about it after one of our trail walks.

A Fish Tale

I understand that couples break up. Relationships don't always last forever. Hopefully, when couples split, they can still be kind and friendly to each other. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. A man from Portland was so upset that his girlfriend broke up with him that he killed her pet. The girls beloved bright purple Betta fish "DeLorean" was found on the floor with a knife stabbed into her body. The X boyfriend pleaded guilty and was charged with animal abuse and domestic assault. Additionally, the girl wants him to pay for a memorial tattoo of Delorean. A judge ruled that he did not have to pay for the tattoo, but he has to do two years of probation and stay away from the women. He can have future contact with fish though. I'm glad that Jerry would never do anything to hurt me (or Chip or Chimmie.) He even got teary eyed when our fish Pongo and Purdy died of natural causes.

No Stealing!

Some crooks broke into a home in Texas and did the unthinkable. Not only did they steal a bunch of stuff, they stole all the wrapped Christmas presents from under the tree. If you think that is horrible, hold on, it gets worse. The Grinch stole the families little teacup Yorkie. The families son is not one bit worried about his stuff or even his presents. He just wants his dog back. I hope they catch the thieves and make them spend Christmas in jail. Their Christmas dinner will be little squares of disgusting red and green jello and they won't get squat for presents. I wish Linda could get GPS chips implanted in us so if someone ever dog napped us, we could be tracked down right away.

Let the Baking Begin!

Linda hosted the annual Christmas Coffee at our house this morning. Of course I behaved myself and was the perfect pet. Chimmie was gentle and quite at first, but after he warmed up to the guests, he started being rambunctious and acting like his regular ole' self. There was lots of delicious smelling treats that we did not get to taste. I did get a crumb of the cinnamon coffee cake Linda made that fell on the carpet. She also did 4 loaves of pumpkin bread. One of the gifts she got was a $25 donation made in her name to our local Chihuahua rescue organization. What a great idea!!

Your Bluffaloing Me

Both Chimmie and I had weigh-ins tonight. Chimmie went first. He was 3.8 pounds when he came to live with us just over a month ago. Tonight, he was 6.2 pounds! That is the number I weighed the last time Linda put me on the scale. When it was my turn, Linda was so pleased to see I was down to 5.6! I'm supposed to weigh 5 pounds, I only have .6 to go before I get to my goal. It must be all the walking we've been doing. Exercise plus Linda not giving me too many treats or any people food at all. Chimmie is still skinny as ever, you can see his ribs. He is just a going to be one BIG Chihuahua! Chimmie's parents are pure bred Chihuahua's from Mexico. Linda said she saw his Mom and Dad. Mom was bigger then the Dad, but Chimmie is already as big as his Mom and he is still not even 4 months old. I hope he does not become the biggest Chi ever. The record goes to a Chi in Taluca, Mexico who weighs 29 pounds.

Happy Birthday Taylor

Today is Taylor's 22nd birthday. He used to live here, but I never really had a relationship with him. He is super allergic to me. If he even sits in a chair that I've been on, he gets all itchy and his eyes get red and watery. When he visits, we have to put a clean sheet on the couch for him to sit on and I'm not allowed anywhere near him. I don't know why he does not get allergic to Chip or Chimmie, it's something about my fur that gets him every time.

Bah Humbug

I know Linda has a life besides taking care of Chimmie, Chip and I, but I can't say I like it all that much. Today she was gone 8 a.m.-1:30 and then from 3:45 until 8:30. Tonight was Tierney's play. It was a version of A Christmas Carol featuring 2 rapping Rabbis, a lemur and a Hispanic ghost from Christmas present. Tier is wearing the white dress. Linda only got to watch the dress rehearsal since she had to work in the nursery. Luckily, both Jerry and Paul came over today to play with us and keep us company. Paul bought us each a toy as a prize. Of course, Chimmie immediately took mine and his. Even with the extra attention and exercise, Chim is still galloping wild around the house making everyone nuts.

ChiDogO

I just might have to road trip to Chicago to eat at ChiDOGo's. What an awesome name for a restaurant. Maybe I can get them to send me a little tee shirt since my nickname is Chi.

Endless Energy

Today Chimmie and I walked the ENTIRE trail. I've never even done that before. I'm always carried at least 25% of the time. It's very long and it takes over an hour to walk. Jerry did carry us over the streams and creeks. But we both walked on the gravel parts that usually we won't step paw on. It was a beautiful day and we had lots of energy from being cooped up all week from the bitter cold. After Linda got home from work, she took Chimmie out back to do his business. He was rocketing around the backyard like he was amped up on caffeine. I, on the other hand, did the sensible thing and took a nap. All I can say is he better sleep well tonight.

Everything is Better With Bacon

The perfect gift for the bacon lover in your life. A delicious box of dark chocolate covered bacon. At only $9 a box, you can buy one for all the omnivores in your life. Or if your talented, just whip a batch or two in your kitchen. We won't be making chocolate covered bacon at our house. :(

I-guana Tell You a Story

I've always wanted to be a service dog. My disposition and sweetness would make me a perfect dog to visit nursing homes and rehab facilities. I'm so gentle and kind, not to mention adorable. People would just feel better if I just sat in their laps. I'm not sure how hard it is to get your NSAR card, but it can't be too difficult. A many in NJ got his iguana certified with the National Service Animal Registry. He can now take his iguana anywhere that other service animals are allowed. I'm still looking into exactly what kind of service Iggy provides the man.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Linda has an iPhone. It's in encased in one of those clunky rubber Otter Boxes. If someone gave her this $8,000,000 iPhone as a gift, she would still put it in her rubber case. The phone is encased in diamonds. It has 500 flawless diamonds totaling over 100 karats. If that's not enough diamonds for you, there are 53 more on the Apple logo. The front navigation button is made of platinum and has a 7 1/2 karat pink diamond. The jeweler who designed them only made 2, so the chances of you running into someone in line at Taco Bell with the same phone is pretty slim. At that price, I doubt even Steve Jobs could afford one.

Love Me Tender

A women eating lunch in a Las Vegas restaurant fell unconscious. Lucky for her, Elvis happened to be running a marathon on his wedding day. The San Francisco doctor was running the marathon dressed as Elvis. He stopped at the second mile to marry his fiancee and have his reception at a burger joint. While celebrating, a fellow patron hit the floor. She had no pulse and was not breathing. Elvis quickly came to the rescue and gave the women mouth to mouth CPR. The women came to and looked up to see Elvis hoovering over her. I wonder if Elvis was wearing blue suede sneakers? I chose this photo of Elvis because of the happy little pooch on his shoulder.

No Accounting for Taste

Maybe his class wasn't paying attention during his accounting lecture. Maybe the heat was too high and to was super hot in the classroom. Maybe the professor just realized he was wearing stripes and plaids that did not match and his OCD kicked in. Right now, no one knows the reason the 57-year old accounting professor stripped naked in class during his lecture. A student complained to school officials (ya think?) and the teacher was arrested and charged with public indecency. Prof was released after posting $5,000 bond. The dean of the college said he won't be returning to his teaching position. I think they should listen to his side of the story first.

Escaped Reindeer Found Hiding Under Elf House

This is a true headline from a news report in Lakeland, Florid. I had to read it a few times to figure it out. Sometimes I transpose words and letters. Sentences can make absolutely no sense whatsoever. That isn't what happened here. After I read the story, it all made perfect sense. It seems like a live reindeer was being displayed at a Nativity Scene at a local church. In the morning, Rudy was nowhere to be found. A search was called for the missing reindeer. Witness reported seeing a reindeer running around town. After volunteers hunted (not the kind of hunting with guns, thank God) the reindeer was found back at the Nativity scene hiding under the elf house. I'm glad the story had a happy ending. Two things I'm confused about: I did not think reindeer visited baby Jesus and I don't remember an elf house being in the story. A friend of Linda's has baby penguins visiting her Nativity scene, so I guess it's a possibility.

Trailer Crash

Is there really such a thing as coincidence? I really don't think so. After reading this story, it might change my mind. 9 years ago, a semi-tractor trailer truck carrying chocolate syrup crashed into a mans mobile home in California. No one was hurt, but what a mess. Yesterday, a tractor trailer carrying whip cream veered off the highway and crashed into the same mans home! If in 2020 a truck carrying ice cream crashes into his home, I think it's a sign he should move or open an ice cream shop!

Kong of the Jungle

Finally, Linda found a chew toy/treat for Chimmie that won't choke him to death. Twice now Linda has had to save his life by taking a chew bone out of his mouth and throat. Today, one got stuck and his mouth was open like a crocodile! I'm so glad she was there to get it out. The last one he actually choked on. She got us each one of these Kong rubber toys that a treat goes inside. She put some peanut butter in the hole and shoved one of our cookie treats inside. I calmly chewed at mine and tried to get the cookie out and lick the PB. Chimmie has been frantic with his. It took 20 minutes (a record for him, it's usually 20 seconds max) to fish his out and then come after mine. Linda was the referee and did not let him get mine. After awhile I got bored and lost interest. Only then did Linda let him work on my toy.

Don't Leave Us!

Chimmie and I are sad tonight because Linda has been gone so much today and she is going back out tonight. Usually Monday night is the only night she is home with us, but tonight she has something she needs to do. She has only been home a total of 4 hours with us all day. It's not so bad for me, but poor Chimmie is stuck in the bathroom since he is not trained all the way. If he would only promise not to chew the wall, furniture or pee on the carpet he could stay out with me. Unfortunately, none of those things are going to happen without Linda correcting him every 3 seconds. Linda is about to leave now and she is going to give us each a chewing bone to keep us busy for a bit. That will keep me happy for an hour, Chimmie will finish his in all of 1 minute.