I wish that I was a banana then I would have appeal.

What is a ghost favorite fruit ? Boonanaa ! Maybe my puppy crate is haunted by a rotten..., oh never mind. A few days ago I told you about my new found love for bananas. Even though bananas are the third most popular fruit in the world, there are some who are afraid of them. Fear of bananas is called bananaphobia and it is more common than you might think. Just search Google for "fear of bananas" and you'll see what I mean. People with bananaphobia are often repulsed by the sight of bananas, cannot stand the texture or smell of bananas, and cannot be in the same room with bananas. Yikes! Why was Banana Jr. teased at school? He had pee-led his pants. I crack myself up sometimes.

"I See Dead People....All the Time, Everywhere"

This is really eerie. Yesterday's entry about Chip warding off evil spirits by her "grotesqueness" is proving to be a blessing in disguise. Today, I found out that you can make a tidy sum by Ebaying any household objects that your dog or cats are terrified of. You all know the ongoing saga of my beloved crate that I slept in for one whole year before one day becoming crazed with fear of even stepping a paw near it. This might very well be my road to fame and fortune. People have sold cornflakes shaped like states and grilled cheese with icons imprinted on it. What do you think I could get for a haunted dog crate? Any takers?

Evil Cats of Doom

Gargoyles were originally designed to protect medieval buildings from water erosion. If the stone carving does not carry water and has a face that resembles a creature, it is technically called a grotesque. Grotesque commonly means strange, fantastic, ugly or bizarre. Some people think they ward off evil spirits. Today Linda went to the National Cathedral. She was able to take a special tour of the underground chapels and tombs. Of course the cathedral is adorned with gargoyles & grotesques. This is a photo of a cat grotesque on the roof of the cathedral. You can't see by this blurry photo, but there is a strong resemblance to Chip. Chip + evil spirits = grotesque. I have been enjoying the web site Evil Cats of Doom. There are many stories of evil cats gone crazy.

(Tierney has been upset that I keep making fun of the cat. This will be the very last entry poking fun of Chip until tomorrow. I really do love Chip and would miss her terribly if she were gone. Plus, maybe she can ward off the evil spirits that have gotten in my crate.)

“Size matters not, ... Look at me. Judge me by size, do you?”

Yoda is very smart. Size matters not, because if it did, yikes... I don't even want to go there. I'm very tiny, but my brains is smarts and I am adorable. Also, Chip is fat and dumpy... she weighs five times more then I do and lacks the most basic of skills. Snickers is 20 times bigger then me and tonight he really screwed up. While Linda was out, he chewed the hoof off a giraffe; the top off a Tiki-Tiki guy and destroyed a dried flower wreath. I kept warning him, but he was possessed. I'm going to see if I can borrow this pooches Yoda costume for next Halloween.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

I have no idea why these two babies are so upset. The body-snatched kitten head must have gotten in a tussle with the pouting-puppy. I know there are times that Chip makes me scared, but most days Snicker's steps in to save the day. I think the reason Chip gets so angry is because she is afraid that Linda and Tierney love me best. That is not true, it's just that I'm open to hugs and Chip is not. In truth, Chip makes herself miserable because she carries that anger around with her. Surprisingly, the three of us have been getting along better. Right now, I'm with Linda on the couch, Snickers is next to the couch and Chip is laying on the love seat. Yup, one big happy family. So see, there is no sense being angry or mean because it only shows your own insecurity (same goes for hairless humans)........says Yoda Choopie.

You Can Put Your Boots in the Oven But That Don't Make Them Biscuits

I've been loving bananas lately, which made me think of monkeys. Do you think that if they put a bunch of Shakespears in a room that they would eventually type like a monkey? What do you do with a blue monkey? Cheer him up. I love my 2 little monkey babies. I chewed the eyes off the flying chimp one day when I was bored. He still screams though. The other one screams when ever I toss him around. Just because I love bananas and monkey babies, I guess I'm still just a Chalupa puppy. (Although I do have a little monkey face and walk around on my back feet.) p.s. I slept the whole night by myself and did not cry once! The praying worked!

"Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, I Pray...."

....... that tonight I actually can relax enough to go to sleep at a respectable time. This is getting really silly, but I'm having a hard time sleeping at night. The first year, I loved my bed/crate in Linda's room, then one night I hate it and am petrified of going near it. Then, all I wanted to do was sleep in the kitchen tucked in pink/black snuggle bed. That was good for 3 nights. Now, I don't want to sleep there either. I'm whiny and crying all night long. Every sound scares me. I start barking, that makes Snickers bark, before you know it, the whole house is riled up. I'm happy in Linda's bed for a few hours, then I want to go back in the kitchen and the whole ordeal starts all over again. Last night Linda made me stay in the kitchen and I eventually calmed down and went to sleep. I'm gonna pray that I don't have a nightmare about this cat coming to live with us.

Sock It To Me!

Project Runway for Pups. Just one sock and a pair of scissors equals a wonderful outfit for the Choopster. Why not try a light green and pink argyle sock and make a spring sweater? I'm going to ask Tierney to make me this for me. She is now doing custom teeshirt designs for all her friends at Mason. Snip, snip, tie, slash, staple... a regular plain teeshirt is turned into a masterpiece with just a pair of scissors. I'll post a photo in my new sock sweater and one of Tierney in her slashed tee when she gets home from school.

Double Trouble

On the right, me...Choopie the Chorkie. Above, my long lost sister.
I think we look a lot alike, except she is white & beige and I am black & brown. I wonder if this is one of my litter mates? I had a little Trouble with Chip this afternoon in the laundry room. The big fat cat cornered me up against the washer/dryer. I was crying for help, and Snickers (who usually runs to intervene) didn't even get up from his bed to rescue me! Good thing Linda was only steps away. This is one more sign that I think poor Snickers is really getting old. I love him lots,
I hope he is ok.

Pucker up the Bucks

It looks like I'm not the only one who has a "big" dog who loves me. This kitty-kitty is getting a sweet kiss from a mighty big fellow. It looks like he might slurp her right up. Since we are on the subject of kisses....You can rescue your dry lips with limited-edition lip treatment made from jojoba and shea butter. The gloss is 100% vegan (yeah says Linda!) Not only will you keep your kisser smooth, 100% of the net proceeds are donated to Pug Rescue which saves dogs from being put down and helps abused pugs get the treatment, love and homes that they need. So pucker up the bucks and let's support Pug's everywhere. Here is the link: www.sephora.com.

Free to a Good (any) Home

No, I'm not advertising to get rid of Chip cat. This is a true newspaper item. It ceases to amaze me the number of people who don't adore their dogs. For instance, take this classified ad. Here is a girl trying to give away her Chorkie, (the same breed I am) to anyone who will take her. Whatever! Even if we do share some of the same personality traits, Linda would never give me away. I don't think she would even sell me for a million-billion dollars.

Tierney had her 3rd article published this week. This one is about big companies promoting their commitment to go green. Are they serious, or are they in it for the green they'll put in their wallets? You'll have to read it for yourself and find out. Maybe her next article could be about people cherishing their pets instead of giving them away (or eating them in a hot dog bun!)

Weenie Weiner

Nothing like a yummy hotdog for lunch...wait, thats not a hotdog. Well, it is a dog... and it might be hot wrapped up in that roll, but it's not the kind of dog that you cover in mustard and relish. Back when I first came home, I was only 1 1/2 pounds. My skinny little body would have fit inside a hot dog bun. Now I'm 3 1/2 pounds, so I would need a BK Whopper bun to hold me.

Linda removed the dreaded crate from the bedroom. I slept inside that crate everyday for the last year, all of a sudden I can't set foot anywhere near it. When I saw it coming down the hallway, I did a back flip and ran under the couch to hide. Maybe I need to go to a doggie therapist to find out what the heck is going on in my head. I'll send the name of my therapist to the weenie weiner dog because he's gonna need it when he grows up.

Home with my Home Boy

Just catching some zzzz's with my Homie. I love Snickers more then you could ever imagine. It is a rainy Sunday and we are both feeling sleepy. Life does not get any better then this.

Smitten w/da Kitten

Now I know that this blog is devoted to dissing kitties, but this puss might possibly be the cutest cat I ever did see. She has the same colors of Chip, the cat that lives here, but that is where the similarities stop.

The Crazy Eyes

I might have mentioned before that Snicker's had another girlfriend before I was even a twinkle in my Mommy's eyes. Her name was Sheba, a pure bread Siberian Husky, and this is what I imagined she must have looked like. Now I'm not trying to be "catty" by speaking bad of the dearly departed, but don't you think I'm a step-up in the looks department? I've also heard stories that Sheba kept getting Snicker's into trouble because "She-bad" would run away and he felt like he had to stay with her to protect her. Once they even got picked up by the dog catcher and had to spend 1 week in the slammer before Linda was allowed to bail them out. This must be Sheba's mug shot.

Downwind is Dangerous

OK, you all know how I feel about cats in general. This proves my point. This little kitty is exactly why I think cat's are rude, selfish and stinky.

Remember I told you that I was a big dog and did not want to sleep next to Linda in my crate at night? Well, now I'm petrified of the crate. If she tries to put me inside, I get all freaked out. Maybe I had a nightmare in there one night and now it is too scary for me.

Taylor and Sarah came over today. They both commented on how fluffy and puffy I look from my bath. Yeah, I know I'm sweet & adorable. You'd never catch me with my leg up in the air making a little pootie in anyone's direction.

Peanuts, Nougat, Caramel, Chocolate =

Snickers. Only not the chocolate bar, and not my Snickers, but a cocker spaniel puppy named Snickers. Poor pup spent five months alone on a small Pacific island. He was stranded with his owners, but the people got rescued and he was left behind. He was eventually saved by a luxury cruise ship. His owners did not even want him back (losers!), so someone else adopted him. Yikes! You can read his complete story online. I couldn't survive 1 day outside by myself. A big hawk would swoop down and catch me. I'd be Hawk-lunch, for sure! My Snickers could probably survive anything. He's the strongest, smartest dog ever. Oh, by the way... it's not his fault about the pee-pee issues the last couple of days. Someone locked the gate on the deck and he could not get down the steps to do his business in the back yard. Today was Linda's cleaning day. There is so much action that I am wasted by the time it is all done. The vacuuming, dusting, mopping, washing... are all very tiring. Just keeping up with her is a challenge. The good thing is that she finds all the hidden treats that were lost because I forgot where I hid them. She also mowed the entire back yard. The grass was so high that even Big S. had to forge his way through. If I went out there you would never find me again. You'd have to send a cruise ship to rescue me too! Last night I had a bath. It wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered. I'm so fluffy and soft now.

Depends for Doggies.

Oh boy, was Linda mad at Snickers this afternoon. We were all eating lunch, just like normal. While Linda eats at the table, she gives us Cheerios or Oyster Crackers if we sit quite. Nothing new there, when she got up to clear the table, Snickers literally peed ALL OVER THE PLACE. A big puddle, a little puddle and then a stream of pee while he walked around the Dining room, living room, down the hall and down the stairs. (We have white carpet!) I thought she was going to blow a gasket, but she just put him out on the deck and got busy cleaning up. It took hours, but with the Pet Spot/Bot; scrubbing; mopping; deodorizing, it's all good. No stains or smell because she got it up right away. What is up with that bad boy! I think he is old and senile. He'll need to wear a big diaper in the house from now on. Is there such a thing as Depends for Doggies? This is Snickers biting my head off.

If You Can't Run With the Big Dogs, Stay on the Deck

Excitement! Tierney stayed home from school today. She let me out on the deck while she was working on her laptop. Snickers was inside with Linda, so I could explore the whole thing myself. First, I went inside the dog house. Whew! It's huge and pretty stinky. Then, there was a gigantic bumble bee that I tried to play with, but it flew away. The really big news... I don't want to go to sleep at night in my fort next to Linda's bed. Last night I barked and barked at the bedroom door until she let me out. I ran into the kitchen and snuggled in my pink bed. I'm all grown up now and don't need her right next to me. Maybe sometimes I'll sleep in there to keep her company. It was a little scary the first few minutes because the kitchen was very dark, but I didn't make one sound all night. Linda came to check on my at 6:00 a.m. and took me back into bed with her. We both got under the covers and fell back asleep. Yeah, I'm a big dog now.

Awww, How Cute!

It's hard to believe that this month I am already 1 1/2 years old! People still think I am just a puppy. This little guy looks so friendly and fun, if Linda let me get a buddy I would pick him. Lately I've been so bored in the kitchen alone. Snickers is outside during the day while Linda and Tierney are gone, so I can't play with him. He has to be the watch dog and make sure no one comes in the back yard. At night, he sleeps in the house to guard us from the boogie man. If a bad man came in, Snickers would chew him to bits. Anyway, all day I'm alone with my toys and snuggle bed. Sometimes Chip the Cat sits on the other side of the gate and looks at me. That's entertaining because I bark and bark at her until her ears go down and she hisses. Nights are my favorite time. Linda lets me lay on her while she reads. When I get too tired, I jump down and go in my kennel next to the bed. I love my life, even if it isn't as exciting as Lassies or Rin Tin Tin.

Tony the Tiger

Today I had a great time playing with Tony... he is one of the handyman who is helping Linda around the house. He crawled around growling like a big tiger and rolled on the floor with me. At first I was scared because he is VERY BIG. This is the second time he came over It was fun to play ruff like I used to. For such a gigantic man, he is nice and gentle. Since the job isn't finished, he will be coming back again later in the week.

Choopies Chewies

Yum....the aroma of freshly baked cookies. These gems are really tasty and easy to make. They are good for you too! Here is my secret recipe just for my fans. Any shape cookie cutter would work, but if you have a cat or kitten cutter, I'd recommend using that. You might want to double the recipe to have some extra next time company drops over.

2 c All-purpose white flour , 1 c Whole wheat flour ,1 c Cornmeal, 3/4 c Regular wheat germ, 1/2 c Nonfat dry milk powder, 2 ts salt, 1 pk Active dry yeast, 1/4 c Warm water, 1 can (10 3/4 oz.) beef broth, 1 Egg, slightly beaten ,1 tablespoon Milk

Combine the flours, cornmeal, wheat germ, dry milk powder, and salt in a very large bowl. Soften the yeast in the warm water and add it along with the beef broth to the dry ingredients. Mix well with hands, for the dough will be very stiff. Divide dough into halves and roll each half out on a floured board to a thickness of 1/4 inch. Cut into shapes with a kitten cookie cutter.

Place fairly close together on an un-greased baking sheet. Combine beaten egg and milk; brush over surface of each cookie. Bake in a 300degree oven for 45 minutes. Turn off oven heat but leave baking sheet with cookies in the oven to harden overnight. If you lack room in the oven for all of them, then just place them in a dry spot until they are quite hard. Yield: Makes 74 two inch cookies

I've Got You Babe

Finally, a You Tube for dogs. It's about time that we get our own site to showcase our talents and cuteness. I've not posted anything yet, but I plan on getting something up there soon. I'm sure that in no time I'll be the most Googled dog on the planet. Till then, go to www.worldwidefido.com and check out Oscar's video. It made my heart melt. I wonder if he has a girlfriend? Tierney is now rocking the Cher look. Her hair is black-black-black down her back-back-back. Maybe I'll turn that into a rap song for my first video entry.

There is a Lesson in this Story Somewhere

I'm starting to wonder if PetSmart isn't jinxed. A few days ago, I posted a story about PetSmart being under fire for it's gouging grooming issues and Banfield's Veterinary horrors . A women is now suing Petsmart, saying that her husband died after a liver transplant that was contaminated by a sick hamster sold by Petsmart to the organ donor. So in other words: Man buys hamster from Petsmart. Hamster is sick. Man gets sick from sick hamster. Man dies. Man donates liver. Second man gets new liver from man with infected hamster. Second man dies. I wonder if the hamster is still alive? I wonder if PS will offer the widow $50 in gift certificates like they did in the last screw up? Speaking of Hamsters... Hate jet lag? Researchers in Argentina have found that taking Viagra considerably shortens the effect on jet lag. So far, they have only used hamsters in the test and the drug helped hamsters adjust to the new time zone 50% faster. I wonder if any of them had to worry about the 4-hour warning?

Spring has Sprung

What a glorious day! It is beautiful outside. Linda put Tierney's full laundry basket up to the bedroom window so I could sit in the dirty clothes and look out into the back yard. All the bird sounds made me happy. Snicker's got to take a walk on the trail. Because of my breathing issues, I can't take too many walks. It makes me wheeze and sneeze and cough. I stayed home and pouted. Maybe next time she can carry me in my pink Conan front pack. I could use a new spring coat. What do you all think about this one?

Tierney, Skip This Entry

Back on April 3rd I wrote about pets being abandoned because of the horrible housing crisis facing Americans. Today, there is a big story on MSNBC about that very issue. Please take a few minutes to read the article and see if you have it on your heart to adopt one of these poor animals. I'm actually trying to talk Linda into getting me a little play-pal. I even said I would share my "meat and bones" but she is kind of on a tight budget right now. The big issue is the vet bills. She's already spent more on me in vet bills then she did on my adoption papers. I know if Tierney reads this, she'll be hounding Linda day and night to get another pup. I'll write more tonight.

There Are No Ugly Children

After Linda read my post yesterday, she went to Safeway to buy chicken and beef. All morning the smell of roasting meat filled the house. Honestly, I was flipping out. (I was dancing and jumping so much I kept falling backwards.) She puts it in the whirly blender and makes mushed up food for me. I got to taste some when it cooled, whoo-hoo... is it good. She must really love me. Linda
is a vegan and for her to cook that meat and pull it off the bone is really dying to self. I know I can be annoying with my fussy eating, but I'm so adorable, she'll keep me. Not like this poor little girl who ended up in the trash. (This photo better be a joke.)

Where's the Beef?

I know in a past post I mentioned that I was thinking of becoming a vegetarian. Although in theory I like the idea of not eating another animal (in some countries they eat little doggies), I just love meat. Chicken, beef, pork... you name it, I want to eat it. These little fellows in their cute overalls are right-on. Snickers and Choopie say: We Want More Bones!
We Want More Meat! Now that both Linda and Tierney are a vegetarians, there are never any leftovers except veggies and beans. I'm going to get Snickers and I matching outfits. We'll make signs and go on a hunger strike. I bet that fat cat Chip crosses our picket line. This photo is from a very old 1934 children's book. I just love it.

Toys-R-Mine

I have a new game I like to play. Down in the family room I have a small doggie-crate where Linda keeps my downstairs toys. I've found out it is big fun to take all my toys out at once and spread them all over the carpet. Linda gets up from the couch and puts them all away. As soon as she sits down, I start dragging them all out again. I have here trained real good. Snickers is checking out my stash. It used to be a great hiding spot for my treats, but he figured it out so now I hide them in the couch pillows or in the folded laundry.

Pet Dumb

PetSmart has been in the news lately about problems with their Banfield Veterinary branch. The chain has also had past issues with non-functioning micro chips. I just came across an article about a poor pooch who went in for a little beauty treatment. "Dido" paid a visit to the groomer at the local PetSmart. When her owner came to pick up Dido, she discovered she had just woken up from surgery. (The pet dog, not the lady). The management at Pet Smart refused to explain what happened. A investigative reporter with the towns newspaper did some checking into the incident. From what the reporter could gather, it sounded like the groomer was cutting Dido's fur and clipped off patches of skin. The dog required stitches to her chest and legs. PetSmart paid the lady $50.00 in in-store gift certificates. $50 dollars? Like in five $10 bills? And in store gift certificates? I'm not even believing that. I'll keep taking my baths in the kitchen sink, thank you very much.

Don't Be a Stick in the Mud

I'm always up for some toss and retrieve. It's awesome to run full force down the hallway and bring the toy back to Linda so she can throw it again and again. It seems like I'm not the only dog who likes to play fetch. A man who has a 18" dog named Millie was playing a little outdoor fetch with a stick. He threw the 16-inch stick for Millie to retrieve, but it stuck in the ground like a javelin and the sprinting dog managed to effectively impale herself on it, swallowing it whole. I'm sure the poor owner about had a heart attack. He rushed Millie to the vet where emergency surgery found that the stick went down her throat and deep into her stomach....without hitting any vital organs. No Freaking Way! The were able to take it out with only a small scratch in her stomach lining. Moral of the story: Be sure your stick does not get stuck in the mud, or your name will be Mud. Here I am stuck in a boot.

On a Serious Note....

Let me appeal to your heart. Due to the large number of housing foreclosures, many families are just leaving their pets behind to run wild or taking them to shelters. Many of the areas hardest hit have had a huge influx of abandoned pets. How could anyone just move and leave their dog or cat to fend for themselves? I don't much like Chip, but never in a million years would I want Linda to move and leave her to starve or get run over. If you are facing hardship and might lose your home, PLEASE, PLEASE take your pet to a shelter if you are unable to care for it. To all those people who don't have a pet or have room in their heart for another one, visit your local shelter now and adopt a friend for life. Snickers was adopted when he was 9 months old. He was abused and abandoned. When he was found, he was starving, scared and near death. Now he is the best, best, best dog ever. I'm one of the lucky few who went from a loving home with my birth family to a loving home with my new family. If you are not in the position to adopt, stop by your shelter and donate some canned food, new toys or blankets this weekend.

Do I make a good "Impression(ist)"?

Linda went to the National Gallery of Art today. She loved all the paintings and sculptures, but her favorite part was looking at the painting with me in it! This is a photo of a small piece of the art, but obviously the most important part of the composition is of me. The girl sitting on the couch next to me is beautiful, but she cropped the photo so you could focus on my irresistible cuteness. Ne faites pas vous voulez m'embrasser??